gamon

You can't kick your wife out and moving before the divorce is final is a huge mistake. She probably won't leave so you're just going to have to tolerate it. I suggest not moving out of the bedroom. You want her to be as inconvenienced and uncomfortable as possible, that helps speed the process along. Be careful and protect yourself from false DV allegations on her part to get you removed from the house, it happens all the time. Best way to do that is have a VAR running all the time and don't let her provoke you into an argument. At this point there's nothing to fight with her about anymore.

MM rarely leave. They just say that to keep their mistress on the hook, so they can be with two women at the same time. There's enough single people out there, go find one for yourself.

You haven't even met the guy in person. Whatever you think you have isn't real.

Quite often, outside, unbaised perspectives from uninvolved 3rd parties can help but without knowing the basics it's impossible. I'll wager a guess that this thing she might do is adopt a dog from a shelter. Dogs aren't that bad. They can be dirty, and misbehave, and they can eliminate inside the house which makes a smelly mess, and they require constant vigilance and if you go on vacation you need to get an expensive sitter and food is expensive along with treats, and forget about the cost of veterinarian care when they get older which happens relatively quickly as their lives are compressed. But heck they can be good companions so it's all worth it, you'll see.

Op you’re correct getting rid of him is easier said than done. He won’t go easily. He’ll kick and scream, he’ll beg and plead, he’ll make promises that won’t be kept, he’ll stall and procrastinate… one strategy is to move out and get your own place when the lease ends. While you’re waiting for the rental period to expire try to find your self esteem snd self respect, the lack of which is allowing you to put up with abuse from this loser.

That's sort of an unknown. He could have snapped over something else. Everyone has their breaking point. Her cheating clearly pushed him over the edge. Did she "cause it" or did she deserve what happened to her or what might still to come? No, but she definitely poked the wrong bear.

Was there a question?

If it was me I'd hardly give it a second thought. I'd probably mention it, maybe drop a brief text explaining what happened, as you did; and be proactive, maybe I wouldn't and if it came up I'd explain what happened but I wouldn't stress it at all. If for some reason she didn't believe me, well that's on her and there are bigger issues. Regardless, the amount of worry you're having over this, starting a forum thread about it.. it's just way over the top. Are you this about minor things in general or are you just really insecure about the relationship?

She likes him better.

Sorry for your state of mental health. I gotta admit I read the thread title and I thought it was a reference to a day that most women would celebrate.

Your husband is spending time with a woman, flirting with her, showering at her house, staying at her place overnight, and lying to you about it. The odds that he is not cheating on you are astronomically low. Do not make the mistake may betrayed partners make, which is to confront. He'll get angry and defensive and deny any wrongdoing, and you will learn nothing. All it will do is drive the affair (if there is one) further underground. If you want answers you need to find them yourself and there are many ways to catch a cheating partner which is beyond the scope of this post, but it's time to go into sleuth mode. Talking to him about his actions being inappropriate and not healthy for the marriage probably won't accomplish anything either. If he's cheating on you the marriage is already over. But you need to know for sure.

Talk about putting the cart before the horse.

Aren't you concerned about the job you were fired from because you were "fakely accused?" Why not file a lawsuit if it's false? Are you at all guilty? Even a little bit?

Aim higher.

My apologies. When you wrote "So should I give the 40mg about 5-6 weeks to see if the increase dose works?" I thought you were asking what the consensus was among the respondants so you could do whatever the majority says. But instead you were asking how long it should take for the medication to work, and it would naturally follow that you were expecting answers that you would use to determine how long to take it. Now that I read what I just wrote I don't see the difference.

You're asking random strangers on the internet about how much of a dose of psych meds you should take. Think about that for a moment.

Her girlfriend wants her to entertain, that does not mean she's any obligation to entertain. Her girlfriend's expectations are her girlfriend's issue. All she's gotta do is say "no", rather than complaining about how unfair her girlfriend is being by having a friend over with little or no notice. There's nothing to argue about here.

So what her girlfriend expects her to entertain. That's her girlfriends issue, doesn't mean she has to comply or give it any thought. It's a matter of saying "Have fun with your friends but I'm going to chill out by myself". End of story. Not whining about how "It's not fair that I have to entertain her friends and I didn't get any notice about it".

You need to consult with a psychiatrist. That's what they're trained and licensed for. Although I suppose you could read tons of mental health forums and try to find people who had similar experiences, then again everyone's different. As I understand it, going on and off psych meds can lower their effectiveness.

I'm thinking the rapist just might not be all that considerate of the feelings and general health and well being of his victims.

The first post says nothing about her having to entertain her girlfriends company. If that was the case my response would have been different. No one is asking her to do anything, she's under no obligation whatsoever to tell charming stories or cook or whatever.

Well maybe she didn't know in advance. You need to be more flexible and tolerant or you might very well find yourself alone.

Living with someone is a compromise. It's rather surprising that several responders saw his partner inviting a friend over as unreasonable. Freaking man up and go watch TV or go to bed if her friend being there is so bothersome.

She can invite a friend over, nothing wrong with that, sorry you're so tired, no one is forcing you to hang out with them, you're being unreasonable. That's my vote.

Showing her this thread will accomplish about the same thing as trying to reason with her. Nothing Any productive change has to come from you. You can't change a person so you need to change the person.