HurtJozie

Hey I was just wondering if this was normal. Me and my ex have been over for around 6 months now and the break up was fine but the post break up has been really hard. We were never really friends to begin with and we tried to be after the break up but i kept doing no contact because it just hurt to much. He found out about me trying to avoid him got pretty hurt etc. But now we seem to be better the dynamic is definitely different and I find the new dynamic hard to adapt to because he's pretty different and less nice. Last night was the first time it was just me and him with mutual friends since the break up and now I just really miss him and want things to be back to they were when we were together. There aren't really any signs that he wants that though so what should i do?

is there any way to soften the blow? do u have an anonymous email account that i could email you his break up letter to to see if he would really get back with me?

if i do get rejected should i just avoid forever?

the thing is though now when we talk on msn like i blocked him for awhile then i unblocked him. He said hi 90% of the time first but the conversations were weird and awkward. If he does want me back how do i go around bringing it up. Also how else would he act if he really did want me back. SHould he be the one to bring it up because he broke it off?

are you sure? I mean I don't even think he likes me anymore. What signs inidicated to you that he was into me?

it's been a month and a half. i added his friend onto msn because I bought the ex a birthday present and needed to know if he had it. I told his friend that I wasn't going to his party and he said that I must go that i needed to go. When I went to the party the thing is he said hi and stuff but once he tried to talk to him I walked away and talked to another friend later on that night we avoided each other but then he went to another girl hugged her a kissed her on the cheek that looked exactly like me. next day he sends me a msg going hey i had a listen to that vinyl that you gave me and its awesome thank you very much for that and cheers for coming, i hope you had a rad time. I didnt reply. Then one of his friends started a rumour at work about him getting with another girl and I had sent him a msg going hope u do well in your marathon and in reply to that message he said, hey i heard you believed matt's rumour about sally. it's not true matt's a dick. thanks for the well wishes. His friend always talks to me about him and I don't know if that's only cause well they're good friends or he's trying to suss things out. Can you please help clarify this for me there's just so many damn mixed msgs.

Actually the friends that tell me to sort it out with him are his two best guy friends. So is that a little strange? But yeah I wont do it anyway because I don't have the courage to do it. What is your advice for like enjoying life, because I try to do thing that make me happy and it works for awhile then i feel that its pointless because something will remind me of him and then i miss him. God I sound like such a bloody loser!!! I hate this state I really do I just want to get over him but its just so damn hard and I hate playing these stupid games.

my friends told me that i should like phone him to sort out the situation now of how we should act now that we are friends. I am very tempted to do this but it'll probably push him away right so I should just leave that? I've spoken to him since the break up and everytime I talk to him I pretend that my life is great that its been filled with parties, that I'm incredibly happy but its all an act. Should I continue putting on that act? Pretend that life is fabulous without him?

How do you give space without it seeming like you are ignoring them so that they don't get the wrong impression that you don't want to be their friend or leave the option of getting back together in the future?

NC working to get over a person? kind of kind of not. I did the NC thing i miss my ex more. but for a brief period of time it helped me get over them. So I guess it can provide some brief relief.

tell her how you feel. She probably hesitant becuase she's scared of getting hurt again. Its all about insecurities you need to address the insecurities that you created about yourself and build that trust again. She saw a side of you no girl wants to see in a guy, the selfish side choosing their career over them so you need to convince her that you miss her, realise you made a huge mistake and that if she gives you a second chance you won't blow it. How do I know this advice? Becuase I want it from my ex boyfriend.

I know I made the biggest mistake pressuring him to tell me where we were in the relationship and I wish I could just take it back. I just wanted him not to date other girls and I thought by us having a relationship then he wouldn't do that. But he was never doing that to begin with I was just so insecure that he would go off with another girl. I miss him so much honestly. He was the best thing that ever happened to me. Becuase I pressured him I need to take the step back and can't do anything or say anthying like pelase take me back right otherwise I look like the needy deseparate ex gf. WHich is what I always tried not to be. Since his birthday he sent me a msg thanking me for the present I bought him and that he would think of me in his old age. More recently, i tried the friends thing and sent him a text message saying, I know this is a random msg but I hope you do well in the marathon i know you've been training for months for it so I hope you do well." He replied saying haha thanks, hey i heard you believed matt's rumour about kristen. Its not true, matt's a dick! Thanks for the well wishes! i said I do'nt know what rumours he was talking about in another text message and he didn't reply. I don't know if he still has feelings for me. At his party he acted really cold but I ignored him there so I don't know if it was a mutally ignoring thing. I think he doesn't but its so hard to say becuase the other day I saw him at uni and we had a good converstaion and it felt like things were back to normal again and we saw each other at work and I caught him looking at me. The other day he let it slip that his mum knows who I am but he never introduced me to her and I never introduced myself to her. This is so hard thank you for the replies so far if you could please keep them coming it would be so greatly appreciated like I said this is the first guy I've truly liked bc he really is amazing and I really want him back so any advice is appreciated thanks. Jo

what happens if you were okay with the way you were before the relationship and then after it you don't think you look like crap, you don't hate anything about yourself but you just miss the person what do you do then?

Hi, Its been basically a month a half since my ex broke up with me. What happen was we dated for one and half months and it was great when we were with each other but he always refused to tell me where we stood and whether he was my boyfriend and if we were in a relationship. The confusion killed me so on our last date I gave him an ultimatium to tell me where we stood, he said that we were boyfriend, girlfriend then the next day he emailed me to tell me that he couldn't do a proper relationship right now becuase he can't get rid of the feeling that he doesn't want one. I know that he really does want to be friends and I really want to try to do that because I've done the NC thing for about 1 month and during that time sometimes I would slip and the conversations on msn were just never the same, they were so boring and bland. That it frustrated me and made me block and delete him again. I went to his 21st however because I said I would be there months before we broke up and also say hi to him when I see him around uni and work. But now I miss everything about him. At first I was okay with the break up because I got my life together but now I'm worse off cause I miss him and all I think about is him. I was wondering if anybody could please give me advice on either how to get him back? The question that I beg to be answered however is - is it replusive and pathetic to ask for him to take me back? I've done NC and it doesn't seem to be doing anything. So now I'm trying to be a good supportive friend and try to act towards him the same as I would with all my friends by sending supportive text message if I know he has something important coming up in his life. I'm so confused and upset and I'm really really hoping that somebody out there could please give me some advice. This is the first guy I really really like and want to be with and I've never had to deal with this situation before so could somebody please give me some advice, it would be SO greatly appreciated. Also another question if you do the NC thing and they think you hate them so they reciprocate and do the NC thing so how do you know which one it is. Cause I've ignored this guy before and he thought I hated him and I ignored him cause i thought he hated me but then we talked about it and figured out it was a mutual misunderstanding so what happens if he thinks I hate him so he doesn't want to talk to me but still likes me? Thanks Jo

That's awesome advice. How do I go about trying to be friends though. Because I've tried the msn thing, talking to him at work and going to his party but it's really awkward now and I don't know how to act. Like I act the same way that I used to act but his different and this kind of puts me off talking to him.