LootieTootie

Well, at this point you really have nothing to lose. Send a flirty text and see what happens. However, if he's a really good-looking, successful self-made bachelor who doesn't have a problem touching a woman's hand in their first meeting, I expect this guy to be one of those guys who are just charming, flirty and yes, be attracted to you but not that in to you. And that could hinge on him not wanting to mix business with pleasure, nothing with you personally.

Talk to a divorce lawyer ASAP.

Once you care so much about a FWB, to the point where you're crossing boundaries (like your first thread) and it appears that you care so much again to post another thread about him... please note you are in a .... NO RETURN TERRITORY. Stop fixating on this man. He will not want you more than a FWB EVER. This guy isn't worth the drama - FWB or not.

You do know what a FWB is right? You are way too invested in someone who is just a FWB or no longer a FWB but potentially can be again. FWB are not supposed to be complicated and they are only complicated when feelings get involve and your feelings for this guy is too involve. So don't ask "Is he lying to me?" You should ask "Why do I care?" Once you ask that question, hopefully it leads to some self-introspection that will help you see that your feelings for this man is unhealthy.

Echoing Wiseman here. Jobs I have applied for in the past, if they asked for your DL it was because the work entailed some traveling. I also don't think it hurts to reach out. As a hiring manager myself, I would see that as being proactive and taking initiative. Good Luck, Cynder!

Oh girl, I hate to tell you but him calling the cops on you should be the least of your worries. Your biggest problem is that you have no standards at all. When you have no standards, the only guys you will get are the lowest of the low, like the scraping of the pot low. Work on loving yourself first. Self-care and date yourself before you let a man enter your life. My other advice is that you look into therapy to work on your internal issues.

Speaking from my own experience being raised in a culture that value taking care of parents, grandparents, and community elders, I can say that your girlfriend is being unreasonably upset. My parents are super generous and I can see my mom or dad grabbing the tab before me or my husband can grab it first. It would just end in a laugh but later in the week or month, me or my husband will just put the $ for the dinner in their pocket and call them right after we left something in their pocket. Another laugh. It's really no harm no foul. So yea, I don't think it's a cultural difference but more that she is immature and has very rigid views. She saw you as an adult man not taking care of your mother and she was upset/hurt that your own mother did not thank her after the tab was paid and now she's sulking. This is a person who needs to work on not getting worked up on innocuous situations because if she doesn't work on herself, she is not going to be a good partner for you or for anyone. You need to grow a spine and tell her that her punitive behavior is not acceptable to you. You are at the whim of a crazy woman. Don't live with her. Find a roommate.

If your husband doesn't think he needs help from a professional, then I think the ball is in your court if you want to stay with him. I personally don't think you should - his alcoholism and gaslighting you is not right and not loving. He's very self-centered. You both fight way too much. Marriage can definitely be hard and it's even harder if you know there are some basic incompatibilities in the beginning but still... decide to roll with it. So yes, you got married way too young and probably at a vulnerable time in your life. I would maybe take this time to reassess my options in getting out of the marriage while you're still young!

A person can keep choosing to have sex with you even if you come with drama. That doesn't make them care about you, or like you, or love you. If anything, they're just using you. Of course they can turn around and say the same about you. Which is why I never liked having FWB or situationships... Women can't compartmentalize as well as men and we get the feels more than men and that makes us get in our heads more than we should be. I think what's happening here is you're getting bent out of shape for someone you should not be getting bent out of shape about. He's a booty call and if you can't treat him as such, you need to stop seeing him because this isn't good for your mental health.

Are your children in Russia too?

And running to your room every night and locking your male cat out isn't punishment itself to the poor male cat? Do you at least say "No" "Stop" in a stern voice at all when he's being a terrorizer? I trained my cats 3 basic commands. No, Sit and Treat. I used a clicker in the beginning but cats got used to the word commands and now don't need it. Figure out what your male cat is crazy about. My cats go crazy over this salmon yam treat and I swear when I grab the bag - they forget what they were even fighting about. Also they don't resent me when I tell them to knock it off when they're pawing me (almost clawing) for attention. But not all cats respond the same way and I would encourage a cat owner to try other methods and not just give up ....unless they just don't have the mental or/and emotional capacity to handle the pet. Any way, I am hoping the best for both cats and I hope you try other methods and not just another medication.

Vigorous playing is what I thought too until skin was broken to the point of blood splattering on the furniture. It takes one male cat to read a message wrong for an all out war when I had cats. So you have to gauge it and nip it when it happens. But all cats are different too and you have to know what works and what doesn't. I never had to use collar - but I'm trying to help Alex but this might just be something where she has to rehome in the end. I hate to see healthy cats be heavily medicated. But yes, I've been in the middle of nasty siblings fight among cats and dogs haha. And when I say nasty, I mean it. Broken skin, patches of air, lots of vocalization, ugh.... But I wear my badges proudly and all my cats and dogs have always love me... follow me... creep on me... stalk me... yea... lucky me.

You're 8 months in to this and if you don't find her physically attractive, then most likely you never will. And if you're asking this question now, then yes, most likely in the future you will feel like you settled when things aren't going right. I say this from a happily married woman but I remembered my parents fighting and my mom and dad would say things like "I didn't even like you when we had to get married" or "I had to put so and so aside to marry you and I regret it. I could have been with them!" It's like they would only say those things when they were unhappy so I think if in the future, you do marry her, and things aren't going well, you will go back to "why did I settle?" Because if you are truly happy with the person you're with, you don't even think about it even when times are tough.

Vibration collar is not the same as a shock collar. This is just an option for Alex to try if she is physically unable to stop her cat from going postal. They need to be isolated. If you allow them to do this, well - of course you're always going to be on high alert. I have had cats before and I am pretty certain they would have not been able to live together if I hadn't stepped in every time the bossy one turned nasty. Have you ever seen cats have a full fledge fight? It can be distressing especially if you see open wounds or pocket of hair every where. I'm sorry Alex. You may have to rehome one of your cats.

Alex, I know you said you live in a condo. How high up is your condo? Just wondering if you thought about letting Damon be part house cat and outdoor cat. Wondering how amenable you are to that alternative since your male cat seems bored or/and picking up your energy to the point he's unhappy.

Let me rephrase... I don't mean to punish them or scold them. So discipline is the wrong word. What I mean is to isolate them when they are acting out. They need a space to cool off. This is why I think she needs to put him in a separate room when he is attacking her or the other cat.

get a small kennel and put Lola inside, lock her up. This can be her safe space. Put her close to you and Damon, while you're watching TV. What you're doing is you're reintroducing her in to the family and she needs to be "approved" by Damon. Damon feels threatened by her for whatever reason. Same thing with play time with Damon. Put Lola in a kennel and have her stay in there while she watches you and Damon play. He needs to see that she's there but she isn't all over you and that might reassure him that this isn't about territory or possession. I say all this but I am aware that some pets just don't get a long. It's the same with people - two great people can hate each other just because... Good luck and yes, pets can be tough. There are days (you have more than others now) that they remind us they're not just here for us to snuggle with... They have real aches and needs ....just like a human being.

I'm pretty sure you can look for another therapist... One of the reasons why you're so scared of Damon is because you aren't willing to put in the work to discipline him. I am pretty good at being a cat wrangler because I've had to put some cats in their place but I get it, it's not the easiest and ideal for someone who doesn't like to get hurt. So may I suggest you look in to a vibrating cat collars for deterrent of bad habits? For both cats. Hopefully if your cats are super sensitive to the vibration when you press it, it will stop them when you noticed they're doing something they're not supposed to. Animals are smart and once you show them something, they pick up real fast.

Same... I would like you to answer this too. Do you play with your cats? If so, how many minutes/hours? Do you have cat toys for them? Providing them exercise is a lot less expensive and safer than medication. Pets are like children. Some pets have higher energy level and require more stimulation than their siblings.

I would let this lay to rest. I'm sorry but this is a lesson to learn. Miscommunication happens and going from her action after the fight, she has decided you are not worth it. I also see this as incompatibility. Your attempt at light laughter about a random bed purchase rubbed her the wrong way because she probably thought you were critiquing her or making assumption about her sex life or her weight (yes some people can be this sensitive even if they are not considered obese). Also when someone say the are out shopping for a bed, I would recommend not saying it is a "funny acquisition" - it kind of open up to all kind of interpretation especially when someone doesn't know you well enough to know what you mean by that.

You were you. A good man. And so I would say this... Don't beat yourself up. When you're single and dating, you're going to meet a lot of losers and a couple of winners. She was definitely not the latter. So write it off as "good thing I stopped settling for her breadcrumbs."

and he sneak attacks you too I am assuming? This just sounds like a bored cat to be honest. This is pretty common with male cats who aren't getting enough stimulation and they need to tap in to their inner wild animal instincts. Which means, highly territorial, want to play-fight, want to show who is alpha, looking for a hunt. Also the biting in the neck- if there's no broken skin on your girl cat, this is all part of postering and play that cats and dogs do - they're like saying "ha, I got you at your weakest spot" or "don't make me chomp down next time." We had a male kitten who was neutered but when he turned 1, he just became too much for the family and so we finally let him go outside and roam. That seemed to help because he calmed down and stopped attacking family members. Of course this might not be an option for you. So here is what I suggest. Try 15 minutes of play with your cat every day and before you sleep. Put your female cat in a kennel or another room. You need to re-bond with your male cat. One on one attention. Play with him but using yarns or any interactive cat toy he likes, and reward him with a treat at the end. Make sure you use a sweet voice and compliment him. Animals may not know human language but they understand tone. If he scratches you or hurt you or hurt your other female cat, you need to be able to assert yourself and try to wrangle him and put him in another room to calm down. So glad I have dogs, they're easier to wrangle ha

Didnt you say in your original post he had his eyes open and you were pretty much talking to him, disrupting his sleep? Not sure if you're just making excuses, but it's pretty obvious your dog knows what he's doing. He's putting you in your place, and he made you cry. And has bitten your brother! Lordy... this is why sometimes I go to the dog park and I just shake my head wondering why some dog owners are so oblivious. Your Aussie is showing you signs that he is going to hurt someone in the future, whether its another family member or a stranger or a friend, etc. people can sue you for millions and if they take your parents to court, the judge can determine if the dog needs to be put down. This is serious. Biting is not cool and if they have shown you a pattern of aggression and biting more than one person, do something especially when they are young.

Yep the friend that's going with you is a keeper. She came thru when all your other friends flake.

Have two Aussies here and they're like day and night. One is full of sass and energy and the other is sweet and mellow. However, because of their breed as working dogs, they need to be stimulated a lot in order not to "act out." If you don't keep them busy, they get bored and they do what they like (which isn't good for most people). And when they get in to the habit of doing what they like, it becomes a character trait, and it might not be a good character trait. My older Aussie has a terrible character trait of barking at people at the dog park waiting for someone to pick up his ball to play fetch with him (not me or his dad). We didn't nip it when he was a puppy because "oh he's just a little guy and its so cute." Now it's just darn annoying and embarrassing because you can hear him miles away and the only dog barking at the dog park. My take on your dog is that he should not be around anyone and any dog. It's just a lawsuit waiting to happen, and not to mention, may possibly mean the dog might be euthanized (depending on some states and local jurisdiction). There are training ranch where you can have the dog stay and get trained at the ranch for a month, and still visit your dog. I would recommend you guys do that if you have the funds and the love to make sure your dog gets the proper training they need and to make it even better, on a ranch with acres to run. a dream for an Aussie.