PavPPZ1

I have to agree, but dont think of this as a total loss. This was actually a great thing because of several aspects. For one, you now know you did find a girl you really liked and you posess some of the necessary qualities which women find attractive and you were dating almost into relationship phase. For two you failed and you are majorly hurt, as much as you think this is bad its actually good. I will explain why, you have an opportunity to better yourself as a person. The way to do this is to go back and just reanalyse what you did and didnt do, think of what happened and try toremember her reaction to things. This will let you know what it was about you that caused her to begin to lose interest. I am suspecting it is that it became obviously apparent that you were madly falling for her after only knowing her for a few weeks. As much as it feels good for you internally, from the outside looking in, you come off as weak. It is ok to fall for a girl after 2 seconds, but as a man you have to stay strong and maintain your stability. On a separate note, do not discount what diggity and zero just mentioned they are absolutely right. Do not cling to girls. Some one once told me a great analogy for women and how they should be treated: Having a woman is like holding a fragile bird in your hands, if you squeeze too much you will destroy the bird, but not holding the bird at all it will fly away and you will lose the bird. So think of it as a balancing act, of realing her in and giving her space. Although its different for every girl, there is a standard which should not change, and that is yoru quality as a man. you must always be strong and confident in yourself. As for girls they are all diffent some need more some need less attention. But be assured that yoru confidence must be at least to that of the girl, or she will lose interest. Good luck, and I agree chose option 2 and use this as a lesson learned. Cya

be as cool as you possibly can, she will see you are the better dude and come to you if its meant to be. if not just take it easy and go on with things.

I dont happen to know that many girls just off hand, obviously I am talking about women Isee, who else. Yes when I find someone attractive I would like to meet and talk to them, but that has nothing to do with stereotypes, just ttraction, which is exactly why I started this post. Yes there are some stereotypical aspects of attraction which both sexes find interesting and appealing, those are the ones I am trying to understand. The rest wil fall into place I agree, but you first need a chance up to bat.' Thanks

I have to say, looking extremely ugly would be bad, but being average looks, or better and having some personality and charm are probably the key, now how do you develop those, thats the question...

Thanks, for that post it definitly reminded me what's important once again. I think digity is right, with his points. The other point which I will add to his argument and as well to this post, is this: You can have respect and be respectful, but you will never be seen as either unless you portray these qualities. thereforeeee the next question is how to show who you really are inside, from your confidence, courage and wit, I guess being loud and abnoxious in a bar doesnt really get that point accross to anyone let alone women. Well maybe you guys can add on this and shed some light on this issue. Paul

Well, I guess I was hoping some women might add some of their input... Perhaps there is no basic elemental answer to this question.

I cant agree completely with you here, I think instead of wording it the way you did. I would say I want to take charge of dating and meeting women, rather then wait for something to fall in my lap. In the past year the women I ve seen and met who I was very attracted to I probably talked to no more then a tenth of them. Thats when I am relaxed I just take it easy. Well I want to go from push marketing to pull marketing, I want to switch the cards and play it smarter. Anyway, I hope that doesnt offend any girls as I woudl like to see some responses from you the most. Thanks

Hello, I am 23 years old, and for as long as I can remember since I ve been in my teens, I do not understand how, and what attracts women to men. I do not understand exactly how it is possible to make a girl interested. What are the things that make a girl look at a guy and feel passion or attraction, and want, need desire? Is this something you must be born with or is it something that can be learned and perfected? I wonder about these things, and from experience I do not know, because I have only seen hot and cold, reactions from the opposite sex. Sometimes I will meet a girl, I try to stay reserved and collected, this usually works best. I am not sure if I am asking the right question, but I am essentially trying to get to the bare nature of women, past the social materialistic stereo types which are not up for question. What is the crudest and most basic aspects which a woman looks for in a man, from his personality, character, principles, looks, demeanor, and any other qualities which strike women as important. Can someone please enlighten me on this matter, it is driving me crazy.

i know, but he will never forget it. Although he should ge tover it

in that case she can use her fingers

HAHAHAHA Its true and I broke those rules by going to talk to her, I know that. The only thing that gets to me is I dont understand what the girl is thinking...

guess what, I bet he figured you were not interested, and is now compeletely through with you. Because girls are too damn confusing you dont even realize when you send a guy a mixed message. If its a guy who has self worth he will at that point compeletely drop you out of his vocabulary because he understands that there are many girls who would want ot be with him and show him that they would. You instead probably walked around like you were bad, and maybe were emotionless or acted like you were not interested. In the end he is over you and forgotten about you, so at this point you are in a situation where you have to ask for it, now you have to ask him out, because dont think he will ask you out. And he should not, so my suggestion is go to him and ask him out, tell him you really like him, if you dont then your chance with him is over he wont come to you again. Girls just dont get it, the same exact situation with me, if this girl calls me back, all I can tell her is to go screw herself at this point I wouldnt even want to be friends.

She doesnt have a boyfriend she is not on a rebound, I went to see her two times since I first met her, she was cool at first when I came to see her but I didnt have a chance to talk to her. All I want to say to her is that being strung along is not what i am into, ofcorse I would rather have had a straight answer, I dont want to see you, or I want to see you. Instead she said I want to hang out, but i dont know when, so i said well can i have your number I ll call you, she said I have your number. Am I understanding this correctly, she wants to be able to call me on her terms, and only if she chooses to? If this is the case and she expects me to accept that and to be happy when she calls me? Seriously, I am just curious what she might be thinking because I have no idea. At, this point if thats the case all I can tell her is to go *beep* herself. Can someone shed some light on this please...

OK, I was an idiot and decided to go see this girl again, who I met about 2 weeks ago... we hung out the night was kinda rough on account that my roomate came home... then she wanted to go home, she offered me her number i said oh i ll give you mine instead, she took it then I think about her every sunday night, and I drive over to the stupid begel shop, thinking oh she will be clear with me on what she wants. Instead she doesnt say anything really useful we talk for 10 minutes then I leave... well I said whats the deal, I would like to hang out with you, can i have your number, so i asked her if she wanted to hang out, and she said she doesnt know when, what the heck does this mean? All it does is confuse me, why does she just not tell me I dont want to hang out with you if she is not interested. She says to me I dont understand what you dont understand... It just pisses me off

I donno, I dont get girls, everything freeking creeps them out and its messed up. TOOOO complicated, they dont konw what they want and it just screws guys up!!!! He really shouldnt marry you

the unspoken rule about sex before marriage is as long as you are not over 21, cuz if you have sex for the first time when you are 40 you will have missed all of your prime years, I would hate to see a beautiful woman miss out on the natural pleasures of life while she is in ample fruitfullness. Mind boggeling i didnt know this rule was still in effect. you must be very religious

have you ever dated anyone?

Are you serious? Can you tell me more of what its like to save your virginity until 27 yrs old? Plz explain to me how you do it, or at least what goes through your mind, how do the guys react?

just tell her to let you konw when she can go, this only if you already havent smothered her with this movie idea. If she is replies within a week ur ok, if not then dont bother. As long as she has your phone number and such

You have never taken anyone down the hershey chocolate highway?

so thats kind of rude, but... Let me explain this, I have had a similar situation to this; I met this girl, we hit it off got it on... couple of days later, I took her out, she asked me to help her out run some errands with her, then I figured we would hang out later that night. She stood me up, later that night I saw her at the bar with her ex boyfriend, I didnt say anything to her. But I lost control because of alcohol, and I started a fight with like 10 guys, got my arse handed to me, lost my cell phone, watch, drove my 2003 accord into a pole, and was in pain for a week. She actually called me after that, instead of hanging up on her, I saw her we didnt do much talking, I laid the pipe "chocolate only" and then she had a chocolate candybar for desert, did that a couple of times and then didnt return any of her calls... She was calling me for like a month... so I take it personally when I see a guy get stood up like that.

as I said the first time, but in a more Lude manner, just drop her like a bad habbit, dont even bother calling her back. Unless she really really wants something then give to her and shover her face first into the mud, like she did to you..

angrybeaver, I guess if you know her for over 2 years, and she is not interested in more then friendship, could mean she is not ready for that with you for whatever reason. That doesnt mean its compeletely out of the question, all it takes is something to change the way she views you, its obvious you two are already close, you share common interests, she enjoys spending time with you etc etc.. The only problem is she is used to having you as a friend and hasnt any other way to view you but as a friend. thereforeeee you need to do something, you need to do something that will change her outlook on you. There are few ways to do this, but somehow you need to test the limits. The best way would be to find a girlfriend, and she would possibly get jealous and develop those feelings for you. Although its not the healthiest way to go about it since you already have feelings for her, and if she changes her feelings for you you might rather stay with the girlfriend you find. Although any affection you show her now will be interpreted as friendship. Her reaction towards your nice ways and compliments are taken with a touch of hostility because she is not viewing you as anything more then a friend, she interprets this as a way of you changing things on her without her consent. She doesnt have control over your feelings and actions, so when you treat her other then in the way a friend would she doesnt like it. Lastly there is a limit to what you should take before you realize you are building yourself up for a huge and painful downfall. You need to create space for your self now, before she finds a boyfriend and its going to tare you appart. Eventhough you say you are friends you obviously have more intimate feelings for her. I would strongly suggest mind over matter, do things for yourself, go work out, meet other girls do something to take your mind off of her. She may be a friend but she wont hesitate for a second when she finds a guy she likes. Either you change the way she views you or you create a little space man, cuz you are on a path of being hurt, I dont know how strong of a guy you are, but it seems like you might have a hard time getting over it... so my advice is: Be a man, get some space between the two of you, and try to find yourself a girlfriend who will want more then friendship between the two of you. The best way to avoid this is to never try to create a friendship between you and a girl, who you are attracted to.

Laughing out Loud, that is the funniest post I have ever seen, the topic how to initiate contact... (LOL) she's not an alien race, since you are both on planet earth you can start of with the known accepted methods, talking and such. "I dont have a problem touching or anything I just dont want to encrouch on someones private space." If i am not misinterpreting or anything, just take it easy, and take her hand as you two skate a long, but do me one favor, Loosen up man. It is going to be obvious if you are so tense, and being a little shy is ok but dont be paranoid that might frighten her. There is always a limit before someone starts to interpret things as weird, I dont know how well you can save face when you are trying something pretty extreme like holding hands for the first time, but try not to blow your whistle and keep your composure... At any rate Good luck

Just keep treating him well, and do whatever you are doing, and dont worry it shows that you like him, all a guy really needs is to look into your eyes to konw if you like him or not, no words are required. But you can say I like you Benjamin if you wish it cant hurt