Starlight925

Oh. My. So, professionally, I’m in the medical world, and let me tell you, they do not just make random accusations. I’ve seen licenses revoked. It gets very very ugly I promise you do not want to be in any part of his world.

You’ve provided a lot more context. I think this all sounds absolutely fine! She actually sounds quite enthusiastic to me. At first, I thought it was a blase “I’ll check my calendar”, like if I have nothing better going on. But reading this, she does sound enthusiastic, and she’s very responsive to setting up dates.

I too don’t see the issue. Don’t go looking for trouble where it doesn’t exist.

She’s been saying the calendar thing since Date 1 if I’m not mistaken? Very off-putting and I agree, she’s trying to use the “so so busy” thing to increase her value. Ugh. If I like a guy and he asks me for a date, I check my calendar first, then I give days that work for me. Same with friends. This is game-playing, and me no likey. But, she seems great in person, so carry on. And yes, get your flirting game on!

I agree with @Coily, as I don't think this is necessarily a binary issue of dump her or tell her. If it was very early on, and you hadn't even slept with Lily, then I think it's fine, and if you continue to date, then at some time, you could tell her, but it's not imperative. If it was later, and you had already started sleeping together and established exclusivity, then yeah, it's a bigger problem. If you decide to stay with her, then you have to tell her, because this is the kind of relationship-ending lie that can bite you in a year or so if she finds out. If you decide to end things, don't just go cold. No ghosting. Tell her you've met back up with your ex (you can omit the sleeping together part), so Lily doesn't spend the rest of her days wondering what's wrong with her. You would owe her that.

I say go for it. You never know! If you don't, you could always have this little feeling of what if. If you do, then at least you'll know. And who wouldn't be flattered at someone from their past reaching out to say you're thinking of them?

Agree with @catfeeder. Let others' fallouts with each other be just that: amongst them. In the past couple of years, I've attended both a wedding and a funeral, as the sole member of my family, as no one other than me was speaking to any of those involved. I'm glad I went. I had a blast at the wedding, and I was brought in very warmly at the funeral. Basically, if two people don't get along, but I get along with them, I don't give a rat's ***. In my friend group, I have two people who vehemently hate each other. We have to plan outings around these two, as they cannot be in the same room. Two years ago, I had a 60th birthday party for myself, a seated dinner in the wine room of a very exclusive steakhouse. I said screw it, and invited them both. As the universe would have it, both were out of town, but the rest of us were hoping they'd show up just to witness the Real Housewives-esque fireworks, lol. You do you, Alex.

You miss the innocence of childhood and young adulthood, when you didn't realize how toxic this all was. Now, you see behind the curtain, and the Wizard (your toxic family members) are forever exposed in your mind for all the issues that have been there all along. You enjoyed la-la land until you grew up and saw them for what they really are. They didn't change, you did. You've been able to, as Dorothy, go "home" anytime you want. By not engaging. Keep these people at arm's length. I know, you're going to write 20 more pages about all the wonderful things they did when you were young, and 20 more pages of all the horrible things they do now, because that's been your pattern of every post: your friends, your boyfriend, your gym lady boss. You have the power to cut this all out of your life. Put on your own ruby slippers and move these people to where they belong in your life: limited contact.

"Hi Mary, great to see you! This is Bob". Why complicate it?

No one "makes" you do anything.

Then, in writing, give her X amount of days before you simply close out these pages. Untangle yourself from this mess.

I have everything business and personal completely separate: Separate laptops, separate email addresses, separate phones even. Everything. I don't even browse the internet on the business laptop, unless it's strictly business related. Yes, Alex, please remove yourself, set her up as a separate account with a new email address for her, and hand the "keys" over to her. I'm glad you see that.

Yeah, I had to read that several times: You linked HER business pages to YOUR personal pages? And don't say because she already has pages linked to her email. Why didn't you just set up a new email address for her, SallySueFitness@ gm. com, password Fitness, and set them all up for her?

I saw the "True Mirror" effect of myself many years ago at an optometrist's office, where they had one so you could see how their different frames really looked on you. I. was. horrified. My face, as it turns out, is asymmetrical! 😄 I've read that our minds "correct" any asymmetries and/or abnormalities that we see in a mirror, so we do not ever see our true selves, I guess so that we don't beat ourselves up about it. But yes, you can look into any mirror and hold another mirror to its 90° angle, and....voilà.

And I just realized how snarky I sounded....so sorry! This whole thread started with a discussion of feeling conscientious about one's varicose veins, and by the end, it turned out, the guy likes Sindy so much that not only is it not an issue, but it's turned out that he's shared some of his physical insecurities as well. Sindy, there's a saying that I love: With the right guy, you won't do the wrong thing. In other words, either way (thermal bath or not), he likes you so much, that any option would have been great! Looking forward to more updates in this....vein...lol.

I'm sorry if my post was misconstrued. I wasn't saying Ozempic/Wegovy are bad, but they are being so overused by the celebrity/mom community for the wrong reasons. You have a great understanding of your own personal situation, and I know that you'll make these decisions with your doctor to get your A1C in as best of control that you can. My mom was a Type 2 for 30 years, so I fully understand the need to control it with the tools available.

I was responding to the discussion about the "true mirror". Wasn't saying it's more important than internal energy, etc. Just pointing out something interesting. Sometimes I'm sorry I respond...

Re: "True Mirror": You can get this effect by holding up 2 mirrors at 90° angles. Try it....pretty freaky. This is the way you look to someone else, not to yourself in a mirror.

Great point, @Batya33, about your mom and the social aspect of the classes. I was driving 45 minutes to an hour each way to a Pilates class every Saturday that I loved, but I quit when they brought in a new teacher for that class that I hated. My dad passed away at 84. When he was 58, he had a quadruple bypass, was 50 lbs. overweight, BP through the roof, would smear half a block of cream cheese on a bagel, etc. He truly took the doctor's advice "to heart" lol, and joined this Cardiac Rehab group. It was run by physical therapists, and each participant was a cardiac patient with similar issues to my dad. He lost the weight, brought his BP down, etc., but most importantly, he developed such a bond with the others that he stayed in the group until his last weeks of life. The night he passed, I got his phone, which hadn't been opened in about 3 weeks, and there were about 40 Voice Mails of "Hey, just checking on you, haven't seen you at the gym". I spent 2 hours calling each one back. They worked out together at 6 am, 3 times a week, for over 20 years. The community that was built from this group of "elderly" people that would have otherwise been forgotten by society was awesome. So when I read Alex, dissing on these seniors, it makes me really sad. And yes, Alex, I've read that you've backed off your statements, but only after receiving feedback here. Again, I'll say it: Quit this job. Take your class that's 3 minutes away. Find a new job.

My BIL took Wegovy when it first came out (the other brand of the same drug as Ozempic) a few years ago. I had never heard of any of these things at the time. He's a Type 1 diabetic, and he wears a permanent insulin pump, but still has trouble controlling his sugar levels, so his doctor put him on it. He lost 25 lbs. that he really didn't need to lose, because it made him so sick that the thought of food made him not want to be anywhere near any food. Even the smell of great food made him nauseous. He went off it because of the illness it caused, and he said he just enjoys food. He's a guy who loves to cook, bake, eat out, and he said it destroyed one of life's greatest pleasures. He did gain the weight back, which was fine with him, as he didn't want to lose weight in the first place. He also keeps a supply of insulin for blood sugar spikes, and he knows how to control it, so his doctor was fine with him going off it. But there are many patients who truly need Ozempic/Wegovy, as they aren't monitoring their BS 24/7, and there are such dangers, so the drug has its place. When I see all the Ozempic craze going on with celebrities (and mom's groups, like @Batya33 pointed out), it makes me so angry, because there are people who truly need it.

Same. I live in a very large city, and the profiles seem all real. I have communicated with several people, and all are real, as in, they ask questions and discuss very specific things for our city, etc. I've met one in person, very nice, just not attracted to him. The issue is that Match no longer offers a full search option, as in, when you put in all your parameters, seems you get maybe 60% of the available profiles to view. I'm sure there are algorithms working in the background....the person hovered on this profile for X.X amount of seconds, so Y/Z profiles are now shown, etc. No different than the way ads are delivered.

Then. Don't. Do. It. Enjoy your 3-minute away gym, and find a job closer. How about a work-from-home position, where you can work at your own pace? But please, for the love of all things, stop picking this woman apart, page after page after page.

I can't take this anymore. Sigh.

AGAIN, AND YES I'M SCREAMING: She's not paying you $7.50 to drive 20 minutes and drive back. She's paying you $7.50 to show up 30 minutes early, do some light pre-work for the class, ATTEND the class for FREE, and get to know some members. She's hoping you'll enjoy the class. Enjoy making new friends. And yeah, light a candle or two. It's actually the OPPOSITE of horrific. What's HORRIFIC is your attitude.

Then why don't you try to get a job at the gym that's only 3 minutes away? And your 2nd paragraph illustrates the frustration we all feel with you, Alex: She isn't requesting, or requiring, you to drive 20 minutes for $7.50, like you made it sound at first. She's asking if you'll help build her community by joining it, FOR FREE, and she'll pay you $7.50 if you show up 30 minutes early to help set up. Just so you can enjoy the class and get to know her regulars. Something's not adding up here. She is not the ogre you have painted her out to be.