VeryShyGuy

Thank you for your replies, it is quite heartening to read your replies to my messages. I am finding myself on this forum all the time, because I enjoy posting my thoughts and feelings here. I enjoy reading over my threads and "smile". I enjoy reading your replies and finding hope, courage, support and confidence. I hope that the future brings me a good life, so I could read these same messages one day and still "smile" at myself, smile because I feel like I have matured and outgrown my concerns. I am eternally grateful for the help I am getting from this forum, both from being able to express my feelings from my mind and for the help I am receiving. I am also eternally grateful to the girl I admire, for she is the one that unknowning and accidentally showed me this forum. I am particularly grateful to mahlina, as I said before, I respect your opinion. That is because you seem to have quite an insight. As for my writing, I feel flattered that people would compliment me for it. Guess my writing is something I could pride myself in then . P.S. I have a little sister (by 4 years), not an older one. Also, she doesn't call me gullible and naive, she just makes me feel that way. It is just that my shyness is balanced out with my sister's assertiveness. I somewhat find it annoying that she would argue with me to death about the most trivial matters. I might not be perfect, but it is not necessary for her to to attack my every flaw.

I have decided roughly at the time when I joined this forum that nothing I say is too personal. I am gradually becoming less ashamed at all my issues and I find posting them on this forum it is able to help me. From a young age I wonder to myself when would the first time I fall in love? Having not many friends and not very outgoing, it felt like I would never fall in love. I want to feel love. I know that my family loves me but I just don't feel their love. My sister generally has a certain disrespect for me because of my lack of ambition, my lack of friends, my gullible and shy/naive personality...etc. My mother and father are overworked, extremely stressed and sometimes when I am at home with them it feels almost like I am channelling all their stress. My home is filled with stress. That is the main reason why I have never invited a friend home, I don't want these two worlds to clash. I have been for a long time trying to be less dependant on my parents and grow out of my naive/shy personality, so I could help my family and more importantly help myself. I am tired of living my entire life in my parent's shadow, and I want a fresh start to my life. I simply REFUSE to ever let depression dominate me. It is usually when I reach this depressed state is when I replace my depression with self-frustration and self-anger. I don't know why I do that, maybe sub-consciously I feel that I could be more constructive with myself using self-anger instead of depression. Lately, I have met this girl and been strongly attracted to her. I am attracted to her personality, her intelligence and her looks. What began as infatuation has now turned into unrequited love. To love someone whole-heartedly and have that same love reciprocated back to you, that must be a wonderful feeling. Like all friendships at the beginning, it is fragile, and I try to hold onto this fragile friendship with her. Sometimes when I am in a depressed mood, I think of trying to fall out of "unrequited love". Falling out of love with her would probably be the most difficult thing I do in my life. She doesn't look like she is interested in having a boyfriend at this time, but she does have a few guy friends that she has a strong friendship with, stronger then my friendship with her. Everytime she is with one of these friends, I seems a little left out. They would have a good conversation while I sit there with nothing to say (I am not a very good talker, don't really have many interesting things to say). Sometimes when we go somewhere (i.e. me, her and her friends), they would be walking with her, and I a couple steps behind them. She always seems so happy to see her friends and she would have such a beautiful smile when she smiles at them, however even though I am a friend she seems to only half-heartedly smile at me. I really love her smile. On the rare occasion I say something interesting or funny and I receive a genuine smile from her is when I love her the most. Maybe she suspects that I like her (but she probably doesn't know how much I like her) and thus not allowing our friendship to grow. She has no problems with making friends, while I just cringe at the thought of meeting new people. This problem with meeting new people is my greatest flaw and is the main reason why I never had a job before. Despite all this, she seems to be a positive influence on me. When I first met her, I felt like my will to improve myself has been rekindled. I am taking my studies much more seriously then before, I have lost some weight, I gave up foolish addictive hobbies like computer games, I find myself more confident, making more friends, being less concerned about my own problems and finding myself generally happier and more hopeful for my own future. So much weighs on what I say or don't say to her. I say something like admit my feelings to her would easily shatter my friendship with her forever and take away most confidence and will to improve myself. If I don't say anything, this fragile friendship will slowly dissolve. Sometimes if she looks like she is having trouble with a subject that I haven't done yet I would tell her that I wish I could help her (she would usually reply "its ok don't worry about it"). She is ahead of me in terms of subjects, and she knows this. I would tell her that I wish I could graduate from uni in the same year she would graduate. Saying things like this, she probably knows definitely by now that I like her. Maybe I am trying too hard. Just from not seeing her for half a week and I find myself greatly fearing rejection, how would it feel like if its at least 3 months after this semester is finished? What would it be like after she graduates and I (most likely) never see her again? She has small, beautiful hands, I wish I could hold them, but I have been programmed (by my parents) from a young age never to touch anyone as it might offend them. I would often dream of her (nothing erotic). Two common recurring dreams are: 1.Sometimes I dream of taking a bullet for her, as a sign that I love her more then my own life. I would survive and as I lie there, she would "why did you do that?". I tell her: "this pain I feel is nothing compared to the pain I would feel seeing you lie dead on this floor". This dream somewhat depresses me. I have this dream because I am getting frustrated at unrequited love. 2. This dream is my favorite dream. I would dream that we were back in high school (she doesn't really go to the same high school as me). Being shy, people would mock me, bully me, take advantage of me and I would endure it all. She would see past my shyness and of all people would pity me and secretly like me also. She would wait for a sign from me. In music class as part of an exam everyone is required to sing in front of the class. When it is my turn I sing and sing well. She would hear me and instantly know I like her too. Everyone who ever mocked me, bullied me or took advantage of me will see me under a new light and have a newfound respect for me. From then on from the sporting field to the classroom, I would excel in every way and everybody that knew me would think to themselves why this shy guy held back so much. I like this second dream alot, I dream this almost every night. Its not that I really want to be a singer, its just that in music there always seems a line that perfectly captures how I feel at that very moment. For example, the line that I can relate to the most is: "Lord I am doing all I can, To be a better man" ("Better Man" by Robbie Williams). I sometimes sing this song quietly to myself, but I always get emotional when I get up to this one line and stop singing. Another line I relate to is: " 'Cause I got too much life, running through my veins, going to waste" ("Feel" by Robbie Williams). I like to feel that I always am capable to do more then I am now. I like to believe that all my failures and regrets in the past would one day be insignificant in comparison to my ambitions, my dreams and achievements. I like to believe that one day I would be able to cast down the barriers that hold me from improving myself. There is many issues that weigh my mind (like I said before) and these issues are the very barriers I wish to cast down one day. When I was a child, I am always wanting something, but unable to get it. Now, looking back I find all those little wants are silly material things. My wants now are of a different sort: I wish for solid worthwhile goals, goals that I could pursue tenanciously, no matter now long it takes. I wish for a strong will, to be able to pursue this goals, even if it costs my own life. I want to be emotionally and physically strong. I want to laugh away all my problems and all my failures in the past. I want to feel free. I want to love someone and feel love in return. I want to earn the respect from my friends and family. I want to be able to have my own family one day. I want a stable career. I want a nice home to live in. I want to feel truly happy and I want everyone I care about to feel truly happy also. I wish my parents were proud of me (in all my life they have never told me they were proud of me). I wish I could earn the respect of my sister, my parents and my friends. I want to be able to die one day (at an old age, hopefully at least 70) and look back at my life and see that I have lived my life to the fullest. I wish my life wasn't such a vicious struggle to achieve my happiness and achieve these goals. ___________________________________________________________ I have been venting very much on this forum about me wanting to improve myself. I don't want my words on this forum to become hypocritical. I want to believe that by putting my most inner most thoughts on this forum I am banishing all my problems from my mind. Of course, this isn't so. Despite all this, I feel myself slowly changing. Reading back on my threads a I have written a month ago, a week ago or even yesterday, I can't help but almost smile at myself. I am becoming less concerned about my problems, and almost feel proud that I am even able express my feelings like this. By being able to smile at my thoughts I feel that I am one step closer to being able to laugh at myself and at my problems. But not yet, not yet, my problems still run too deeply inside me. P.S. Just an afterthought: From what you have read in this thread, do I sound naive? Do my dreams sound silly? Hypothetically, if you are this girl (and a friend of mine), how would you feel about me after reading this? Sorry that this post is kinda long, but these are my thoughts at this very moment. I would be kinda sad if no one responds to this.

It is someting drilled into my head at a young age. From a young age I had a naive belief that following my parents ideals would aid me in resolving all the problems (e.g. debt, stress..etc) in the family.

I fear that someday I would wind up suffering just like my parents by blindly following their ideals. I fear that one day they will die thinking I didn't do anything worthwhile with my life. I fear falling into a deep depression and pushing everyone I know away from me. I fear overwhelmed by sadness for myself and for my parents. Why is it when ever I feel angered at someone, I generally find myself more angry at myself? I generally try to restain my anger, I believe venting my anger could easily make a bad situation worse then it already is. Why is it when someone feels disappointed in me, I also feel disappointed at myself too? Why is it I feel happy only when my parents are happy and why do I feel sad the rest of the time? Why is it when I truly feel motivated, what I am aiming for is just a slightly beyond my reach?

The worst that could happen is a ruined friendship and feeling regret for the rest of my life for ruining my first potential love. I wish I didn't need this forum to express my thoughts/feelings to her. Actually I have decided not to tell her (not till a long time later).

No, what you think is ambition is merely my wish to be more ambitious. My ambitions like "I wish to live a life without regrets" is somewhat abstract, how do I achieve an ambition like that? The more abstract the ambition, the more uncear it is and the more difficult it is to achieve. True, it is due to my fears that I don't go after I want. Due to my fear of a ruined friendship is why I post my feelings here instead of telling it straight to her. It is fear of people judging me that I rarely mention these feelings (about myself and about her) to anyone in real life. As for telling her about my threads, she seems to be the sort of person that honors friendship. I have no doubt she would read my threads eventually regardless of whether I give her my nickname or not (she would probably guess that it is me as I left plenty of hints in my older threads). With her, I am worried if I have completely misjudged her in my threads and thus ruin our friendship.

As you can kinda tell from my nickname I am a shy guy. In real life, I am not much of a talker but despite this I have been writing my heart out, treating this forum as if it is a diary. I have mentioned on some of my earlier threads that for a while I have been trying to improve myself, even before I even met this girl. I have blabbed on so much about this on this forum. In real life I do feel like I have changed, comparing myself now to myself a year ago I would definitely think I have changed. But with respects to my problems such as stress in the family, financial problems, lack of personal ambition, it doesn't seem like I changed enough. Compared to my problems, I have changed very little, such that my wishes to improve (which I posted on this forum) seem almost hypocritical. My family (i.e. my parents and my sister) consider me too naive and because of this they believe I am unaware of their problems and as a result. However I know more than they think. What I do see is the general disappointment my parents have in me. They are also getting old (both in their mid 50s). I don't want them to die one day still secretly haboring this disappointment (this is my most painful fear and if nothing is to change at this point, would become very likely). They will have a disappointment that I would suffer like them. It almost looks like my fate is to become like my parents. I have to fight this fate. However I am not much of a fighter. Why is it that I feel so powerless with it comes to dealing with my own fate? As a child, my family had fewer problems. We would every 1 or 2 years go on vacation (usually out of the state not overseas) and spend time together as a family. Those were happy times but such times will never come back. Simple vacations like going to the beach or visiting relatives in another state, my parents don't have the stamina, time and money for such trips. Such fond memories of my past are vague and it almost feels as if I forgotten what it feels like to be happy. I feel like a fool. As a child I mistakingly believed that following my parents every order and all the issues and problems that weigh the family down will magically be fixed. I was so dependant on my parents that my every decision I would ask my parents for their opinion. When I turned 18, it was as if they thought I would magically become more independent and fix all their problems. This is obviously not the case. One day when I am old in my death bed and look back at my life I don't want to see an entire life filled with regret and frustration at myself. I don't care much for material wealth. At the end of my life, would it really matter how much money I had? I would like to die one day at least in my 70s with my soul unburdened from all my problems. At that time I would to live life to the fullest, and look to my family and friends and see that they too will live happily. When I am at the end of my life, I want to look back into the past and vividly see all my fond memories (like now when I am looking back at my naive childhood when I was too young to realise any problems). My efforts to improve myself has more greatly reinforced recently when I met this girl I really like. She is a strong willed girl who is ambitious (something I am not). Around her, I generally feel more happy and more confident for myself. However if my guesses are correct about her, she seems to very comfortable being single (probably as a result of her ambitions). She wouldn't want to be tied down by a relationship. As much I secretly like and admire her, I shouldn't be so selfish as to try to start a relationship (deep down I feel that I am not ready for a relationship, she probably feels the same way. I just dont want to one day look back and curse myself for missing my opportunity). I just hope that is a possibility in the future, its just that time would also mean that she would move on and I would be left behind. She is like a motivating force to me even though she doesn't realise it. I feel like she has done so much for me and I would like to somehow repay her (there isn't much I can give or do for her). Is this what it feels to be in love? Is love too strong a word to explain my feeling of her? Is this love or infatuation? Am I actually in love with her or in love with a fantasy of her being somewhat of a saviour to all my problems? Is my love and admiration for her a fantasy or is it true love? What would she think when (when not if) she reads my threads? I wish she would know me better (and I know her better). As I have said before, I am not much of a talker. The fastest way to let her know about all my feelings is to tell her my nickname (I feel its only fair, I had read her threads. That is, if I guessed her nickname correctly). However I have posted alot about myself and about how I admire her (and also about my own life) and it would be kinda overwheling for her. I am not ready yet to tell her my nickname (possibly a good time is when this semester is finished, both me and her has less commitments). For now, I am just happy to have her as a friend. For me friendships come and go and I would really like to make my friendship with her really last.

In real life, I want to be unafraid to express my thoughts and feelings like I have on this forum. However: 1. I am shy 2. There isn't much people I trust with my thoughts and feelings hence the anonmity of using this forum. 3. I am not much of a talker. In real life I find that being unable to express myself is due to having fear, fear of how people will judge me, fear of my family would think of me...etc. I don't want to have these fears anymore. I wonder, when would it be a good time to PM her? I guess the true test of my motivation and will is if things go badly with this girl and I don't lose any of my spirit and motivation as a result. Obviously I don't want that. Is being in a relationship right for me? If I had a girlfriend (with my life the way it is now), our relationship would be moving so slowly that she would eventually grow tired of me and tired of me not getting anywhere in my life. I don't want that nor do I want to rush things and ruin things. I want to improve myself at my own pace (however this pace is kinda slow). Most likely if I have a relationship, it will be moving at the same pace as well. Why is that I am trying to improve myself now? Why not years ago? When I find myself looking back I think "where are all my achievements?". If only I met this girl I like years ago.

Okay, thanks for your replies whathappensnext, it kinda gave me more of an insight of what this girl I like might think.

Why is it that I am so obsessive about her on this forum when in real life I am too shy to initiate anything? If she reads my threads, she would see two entirely different sides to me, the guy that greatly admires her on this forum vs. the guy in real life that is trying to improve. In real life I don't often express my feelings like this, however on this forum when I write a message I try not to restrain any feelings at all. Which one is the REAL me? The guy on the forum who expresses all his feelings without reservation or the guy in real life is somewhat reserved in his feelings?

I have a great fear of how her perspective of me would change if I PM her. If she becomes upset at me, then its bad, for our friendship and for my motivation and confidence. I want to tell her my feelings but I am still very much a "shy guy" and very unprepared to start a relationship (if she even likes me). If she becomes aware of my feelings of her, then her perspective will definitely change (it would be highly unlikely that her attitude towards me would remain the same). For now I don't want any change in her attitude to change at all and hope that one day she will be still open to a relationship. Why do I even want a relationship? I have always been single (and haven't thought much about the boyfriend/girlfriend issue until I have met her). Maybe it is I am trying to find happiness through her. I think relationships that work well would make both people happy. However relationships take a lot of work and could be stressful instead of happy.

Like I said before, I have a strong suspicion of who she is on this forum and I seriously plan to PM her. However, she doesn't seem to be actively looking for me on this forum (quite the opposite with me, I am mistaking girls everywhere on this forum for her). However, by giving her a PM all my feelings of her will be revealed (if it is her) and she will know that I have been reading up about her. Another alternative is I could log in under a different name and give her a PM under a different name. Any thoughts?

Is this necessarily a bad thing? Trying to come out of my protective shell of "shyness" I am finding myself making more friends, trying harder in my studies, trying to take more care of my health, giving up silly hobbies..etc. Its just that I have been significantly more motivated merely being a just a friend to this girl I like. Actually, come to think of it, how much of my motivation is dependant on her (a good guess is much of my motivation)? Everywhere I have read on this forum mentions advice like "remember to be yourself" with a girl. What if I am in the process of trying to change myself? I have being trying for a long time to shed the "shy guy" personality and try to gain more confidence and self-esteem (before I met this girl I like). This "shy guy" and lack of confidence has for a long time (as long as I could remember) has caused me to be very complacent in terms of finding a job for myself and the lack of confidence causes my marks not as high as it should be. I find myself trying much harder for myself. Simple promises I make to her like "I will finish the assignment before that day" or "I am going to get high marks in this subject" I take extremely seriously while she wouldn't think much of it at the time. I am usually in a good mood when I am with this girl and my friend would tell me my motivation and happiness is too dependant on this girl. I would often joke with him that my motivation is to help improve myself for my own future and if I can impress the girl I like it would be a bonus. However, if things ever go badly between me and this girl, then I would lose much of my motivation. Having a friendship with someone you really admire is fragile, one slip of the tongue (i.e. saying something stupid like "I like you") could easily ruin the friendship. I don't want to be complacent with this girl (which I think is how things are now) nor do I want to rush things such that it ruins it all. I have been mentioning alot on this forum about how much I like her. The feelings I have for her I would have great difficulty telling her face to face. At times I want her to read my threads (she knows I post on this forum and she too is a member) but not at the expense of our friendship. I have a pretty good guess of what her nickname is on this forum, this time my guess is much more likely than my last guess. However, I would feel really guilty if it really is her, as I briefly read her threads and as you can guess most of the threads on this forum is about people trying to deal with personal problems. I might give this "forum girl" a PM to see if she is the same girl I know in "real life" but that would only result in me being really worried of what she would think of me. Three things that might make me lose my motivation: 1. She reads my threads and realises I have been reading hers (if it is her) and she becomes angry or upset at me for reading up about her. 2. I say something stupid to her (i.e. "I really like you") and our friendship becomes ruined 3. She finds herself a boyfriend I would like some comments on my thoughts. Thank you in advance. P.S. At this point it doesn't look like she is interested in getting a boyfriend (if she is who I think she is on this forum, she is comfortable with being single)

Do you think admitting my feelings to her on this forum is "rash" and will it "create problems" when (when not if) she reads my threads? I guess you are right about me being over-dramatic. All my feelings for her that I mentioned in my earlier threads are "over-dramatic" (possibly venting about my life in my earlier threads is also "over-dramatic"). Re-edit: However, I can't help but get more nervous everyday thinking of what would happen when she reads my thread(s).

This girl I like, she sometimes reads the posts on this forum and she knows I post on this forum as well (but doesn't know my nickname). Most of my posts so far mentions how much I admire her and such. Recently she asked me what is my nickname on this forum. I didn't tell her and mentioned that my posts on this forum is kinda personal and I would be embarrassed if she was reading my threads. Then she mentions how people post messages on this forum have girl problems (maybe she will make the connection that I like her after she said that). Maybe just by saying this I aroused her curiosity and she would read more threads trying to work out what my nickname is (it won't be very hard for her to find out, I left some clues/hints in my threads). I have been dropping hints occasionally. For example, I mentioned to her that if I find a job in the beginning of next year (and she finds work in the middle of the year) then we will miss each other completely. I think she didn't pick up on my hint (or if she was making a signal I must have missed it). When will I stop hiding my face and my feelings for her behind this forum? Why am I so cowardly in expressing my feelings directly to her? I guess a reason why I write this is after this year, our timetable will be out of sync (i.e. she will do different uni subjects then mine). So my greatest worry is that by seeing her less often after this year, our friendship will slowly die out. I am pretty sure she will eventually find this thread. I don't mind being merely friends with her, but I do mind our friendship "slowly dying out".

After meeting this girl that I kinda like, I realised that she is the first female friend I have. When I am around her, I am in a good mood and she might even sense that I like her (probably she doesn't know by how much). She is intelligent, has a like-able personality, cute, and plenty of friends. I on the other hand, am shy (but finding myself growing out of my shyness), naive and not a very good talker (and I am thankful she tolerates my occasional "ackward silences" when I try to gather my thoughts and think of something to say). Around my friends, I feel proud to know her. I too have plenty of friends (as a result of trying to be less shy) but for me friends come and go and I find myself always having to seek new friends. For her, she maintains her friendship with all her old friends. I would like at least one lasting friendship before I finish my degree (hopefully her). I am happy that me and her are friends and if me and her can't be a "couple" then I hope at least we can develop a "lasting friendship". Does she like me or am I imagining things? She probably likes me as a friend (at worst merely an acquaintence). My admiration for her came swiftly and suddenly in the middle of this semester and has caught me off guard (I met her roughly at that time). I like her but being "caught off guard" has somewhat made me unprepared on admitting my feelings to her (another reason I feel so unprepared is because I am too shy to tell her my feelings). Around her, I don't feel shy at all, I feel shy only about the boyfriend/girlfriend issue. Am I overestimating my feelings for her? Is this just a silly little crush? Usually when I am not around her, I am either thinking "if I admit my feelings to her now, it would scare her away" or "if I wait too long, our friendship will slowly die away". One day when I look back at this, will I smile (whether or not I am with her)? Or will I feel regret for missing my opportunity? She inspires me somewhat. As my signature says "when you love someone all your saved up wishes start coming out". I do find my "saved up wishes" coming out and have been venting them on this forum. I guess the true motives of me writing this post is because I have been talking alot about how much I admire her (and also venting about my own life). She too is a member of this forum. When I first saw her on this forum she hastily turned it off (she was reading the thread "how to keep opposite-sex relationships platonic"). I too afterwards began visiting this forum and took a guess of what her nickname is on this forum (I am now kinda convinced that my initial guess is wrong). However, now she knows that I read this forum too (she probably doesn't know my nickname as yet, but I was somewhat optimistic at the beginning and left some hints for her). Eventually she will find her way to my threads and I am curious of what she would think of my threads. If you are a girl reading this thread, could you do me a quick favor and skim through some of my threads below and tell me what you would think of me as if you were the girl I mentioned in my threads. link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed link removed

Maybe shyness is some sort of mechanism we use to try to protect themselves from emotional hurt (this is my opinion).

Somewhere on this forum is this link (I forgot where, but I did save the link in my email as I found it interesting): link removed I followed this link and found the following very interesting: "infatuation certainly happens but instant love is not a dependable sign of enduring love. Many people will also tell you that the "body chemistry has to be right." But, in fact, this strong, instant physical-emotional attraction sucks us into both good and bad relationships. The body chemistry on the first or second date is no reliable indication of what the body chemistry will be like in the second or twenty-second year. The selection of a life-long partner must be based on more than initial physical-emotional attraction" Reference: link removed "According to Tennov (1978), infatuation is unfulfilled desire, i.e. your infatuation fades away if the person unconditionally and fully returns your love. It is the hard-to-get person that really turns you on" Reference: link removed "Conventional wisdom has it, however, that marriages based on romantic "love at first sight" don't last, but there is no clear data for or against this dire prediction. There are many couples who fell in love instantly and it lasted forever. On the other hand, most of us have known immature people who impulsively become infatuated, getting into trouble repeatedly. (And we all know the opposite: wonderful people who avoid fast intimacy.) In short, the advantages and disadvantages of quickly getting emotionally involved are complex and not yet well researched. Perhaps, the pros and cons of instant infatuation doesn't matter much because you may not be able to change that basic part of your personality anyway. (You can learn to rationally control it to some extent, however.) Regardless of whether we get into love quickly or slowly, once we are intensely involved with the other person, from that point on, while we may continue to experience ups and downs in this relationship, the issue becomes condensed into a simple question of staying or leaving: Will I stick with this person (and make the best of it) or leave and lose him/her forever?" Reference: link removed "First, the infatuated person exaggerates the loved one's good traits and ignores the bad ones. It seems as though this is the only person who could satisfy his/her needs. One is infatuated with a fantasy, not the real person. Second, infatuation involves many of the same sensations and experiences as love--preoccupation with the loved one, strong attraction, an aching heart, butterflies in the stomach, restless sleep, etc. Not surprisingly, infatuation is likely to be interpreted as "true love" by inexperienced persons even though they do not know much about the lover and their needs are not being met. It is important to mentally realize (contrary to what you feel ) that being infatuated with someone tells you very little about your compatibility with that person. How can one tell if it is true love or infatuation? There is no sure method." Reference: link removed

I am afraid I might have the same problem as Crizlee. The girl I like often reads this forum, and I am worried she would mis-intepret what I say, about myself and about her.

Message to all you girls who like shy guys: If you like a shy guy and kinda sense that he likes you too, give them a sign next time you see them! Don't let them go through the "does she like me or am i imagining things?" or the "What are the chances of dating a girl like her?" process. Two shy people that like each other are completely useless. A girl playing "hard to get" for a shy guy that she likes is also completely useless. P.S. Hopefully the girl I like would read this thread. I am very shy too (in real life), just not shy on this forum. What I would like is a sign from her.

LOL, I am in exactly the same position, there is this girl I like but I don't want to make a strong hint so that it ruins my friendship with her. Anyone have any good advice for us?

Maybe she is giving you a signal that she is interested in you.

Thanks very much for complementing my writing. It kinda helps my confidence a bit getting positive feedback from my threads. Im going to try to keep improving my writing.

Do I live for today and tell her how much I admire her? Or do I live for tomorrow and try to let our friendship slowly flourish? I am too shy to tell her how much I admire her at this point. Most likely outcome is we just merely remain friends. What does It feel like to be in Love? Would you know from the very beginning, or is it something that slowly grows though time? I am finding myself admiring this girl I like more everytime I see or hear her. My admiration for her seems to have no bounds, and around her is when I am happiest. I find myself always thinking of her and remembering how happy I feel around her. As I have mentioned once before, this girl is like a catalyst for me to improve myself and move away from my mundane and fruitless life. To lose my opportunity with her would have quite the reverse effect, I will lose my confidence, my moviation for self-improvement, it will drive me into a deep depression and my family will forever be clueless of the motives of my depression and they too will fall into depression with me. I don't want to drive her away with a premature expression of my admiration of her nor do I want to give too much time for her such that she will forget me and move on. My feelings towards her is only of great admiration, but whether she senses it or not I don't know (its possible that she does sense it, she reads this forum too). She has helped me more than she will ever realise and I wish I could do just as much for her. Will I forever be stuck as one of the many guy friends she maintains only a friendly relationship with? It is not impossible that she likes me as well, but my mind is so clouded with my feelings for her that I could be imagining things. Everywhere I read on this forum indicates that girls are into confident guys which is something I definitely am not. Through my admiration and respect for her, one day I will be a better man but when that day comes will she remember me? Will she available to start a relationship with me when that day comes (I know, this is wishful thinking)? What is this admiration I have for her? Is admiration same as love? Re-Edit: Sorry If I put this in the wrong forum. Also re-edit to get rid of small errors.

Personally, I would be flattered if a girl asked me out.