looking_for_love

Wow! It's amazing that no one can be loyal anymore. I have been in this situation many times,and you did the right thing, especially considering that she caught them! I have also been brought up in a house where lying is horrible, and if your friend's girlfriend is your friend, then you did the right thing by telling her. No one deserves to be put in that sort of pain. I have seen many people hurt that way. SO you should talk to the both of them separately of course, but your guy friend needs to understand that what he did is WRONG and that he should definitely be trying to fix a six-year relationship, and if he doesn't listen, then it's best to leave it alone and advise the girl to move on. It isn't your life, but it is great to hear that friends are still concerned about their friends. That doesn't happen very often anymore. Hopefully I helped some, and I'm always here!

If you don't mind me asking, do you mean that it has been three years since you have kissed your boyfriend or that you haven't seen him or been with him for three years? If that's true and you don't have any feelings, maybe you just need a little time apart to see what may happen. But make sure you know all about the net friend..most people who post on this site are okay, but there are some who are real weirdos! Hope I helped some.

They're right...try your best to control your anger, although it is definitely hard at times! That way, there may be another chance. Give her time to sort through things since she is obviously confused or at a rough spot in her life. And definitely don't consider suicide...that's a no win situation...then there will NEVER be a chance of you getting back with her or anyone else. So just be strong and believe in yourself...even if this doesn't go on, there is always someone else.

I think that you should definitely do something about it!! I can give great advice. My best friend and I have known eachother for eight years and I love him dearly, we've been through a lot together but it seems like there has always been this underlying tension that we should get together. Well, he and his girlfriend were really having problems and I broke up with my boyfriend a month ago, so I was always there trying to help him. He broke up with her tonight and asked me out, so now we're together. I am a prime example that things between best friends can work out. See, most of the time if a girl lets a guy get that close to her, it is almost impossible for her to not at least have some sort of feelings toward him. I can vouch for that, because you trust them so much. And I personally believe that best friends dating works out ten times as well because you can talk about anything. But that's just my opinion. Be brave and try talking to her and see if anything comes of it. But I wanted to add at least one good story, since I am dating my best guy friend and I haven't been this happy in a long time!!

Well...it's official! He finally asked me out just a minute ago! I am so happy. Thank you for all your advice!! I really appreciate it so much.

If anyone is reading this and following up with my story, he finally asked me out tonight! He broke up with his girlfriend and asked me out! I had to contain myself when we were on the phone. Just figured I would add that on if anyone is reading this, and wish me good luck!!

Ever since I told him how I felt, we have been totally closer, and it seems like there is an added element, ya know? He calls more and comes around more, and like I said before, we don't ever talk about other guys or girls to eachother. Ya know? So I don't know. If something does happen, I think it will be in the next few days or weeks since school starts back on Monday and I'm thinking he will do something about his girlfriend and me before then or very shortly after...or I hope so, this dang suspense is driving me crazy! I'm just anxious. That's all. And I think it is pathetic that she is sending her family into his work, for Pete's sake, to jump all over him for not calling when he doesn't even know how to reach her. And it made him very angry...and I've been there for him through all of it. A lot of people say that best friends shouldn't date, but I don't see why not, especially in my case. I mean, we know practically everything about eachother and are interested in most of the same things. I know, you're probably thinking, "Well, why the heck is she asking for advice? This sounds perfect," but my main problem is the fact that he hasn't came out and said anything, and I don't know if it is because he doesn't know how he feels, is shy about it (although he is normally not shy about anything), or if he doesn't know how, or what. What do you think about that? Or does he even feel the same way? ARGH sorry I'm probably driving you nuts, but I appreciate all your help.

Well...that's sorta what happened! See,his girlfriend is in a summer program at a college, and she can call him for free but if he calls her it's long distance. Well, no one ever told him how to get in touch with her and she never really made an attempt, and she got her family to go into his work and jump all over him for not calling when it really wasn't his fault. So I don't know. He doesn't mention her anymore, or any girls for that matter. So I'm not sure what that means. It just hurts so much not knowing...I just wish he would do something. Of course, he is horrible for procrastinating stuff. He really is a good guy though...he has never made a move on me or cheated on his girlfriend even though they kinda aren't together even though they are technically. Gosh I don't know...it's so confusing...sorry if I lost you. And thanks for your advice...

Well...ladies and gentlemen, I think I have found my soulmate, but I really don't know for sure. He has been my best friend since fourth grade (now we're seniors). He knows what I am thinking and feeling before I even say a word or even show an emotion, he can finish my sentences, and I usually can sense it when he is getting ready to call me. He loves to spend time with me...he calls a lot and he comes up occasionally, always invites me to church and to other things he attends. I know that I am absolutely crazy about him...but, as of now, it is nothing more than friends, and I made him aware of my feelings. He hasn't spoken with his "girlfriend" for almost two months, and it may be because he hasn't completely ended things with her. But I don't know for sure. Is he interested as more than a friend? Is he my soulmate?

You are probably right that this girl's mother has something to do with it! My mom constantly tries to do that to me. But if she is listening to her mother and following through although her mom really isn't her source of control, then maybe there is something else. But if you really do love eachother, like you said, then it could probably be worked out. It is hard to overcome boundaries when a family member doesn't like you, and sometimes it is impossible. But before you give up, you need to make sure that you have tried your hardest. Just talk it through with this girl, and see if she even does want to work through things. If she does, she will probably call before the month is up or act differently when you call her. But if not, or if you can't reach her in a month, there may be some other factor besides her mom involved. I know how much all of this hurts...just be strong and believe that the best will come of it...hope my advice helps you.

I understand where you are coming from. I am a female, and although I have never really felt "smothered" by somebody, I have seen plenty of girls who do. Honestly, most of the people who feel that they are being smothered are not ready for that much commitment yet...maybe they are searching for themselves and don't really know what they want yet. Or maybe they just are confused about what they feel. Did she ever tell you that she loved you? Does she seem interested at all about getting back together now? You need to ask yourself these questions before you attempt anything else. I guess that my advice to you would be to keep steady contact and don't mention anything for a little while, and make sure that you really do want to be with her. It sounds like the whole relationship just gave you a lot of trouble and that you are better off now. (I just came out of a relationship like that...and although it was hard to let go, I feel ten times better since I did...and it seemed impossible at first.) If you do decide that this is really something that you want, then go into it easily, since she obviously doesn't like being rushed. See where it goes. But if another potential opportunity comes along, don't push it off because it may end up being better for you and you aren't together with that girl. And, to be honest, most of the time if someone has a crush on someone else when they are in a relationship, it will most likely happen again. But these are just in my experiences. Just keep your head high...you sound like a really nice guy. I hope my advice helps you.

Thank you so much for your comments. They really help me a lot. I just hope that everything works out. Today he called me and said that his mom bought me a dress and a shirt when she was out, so obviously she is behind it, too. I look for it to happen soon, although we do still act more like friends than anything else, there is just something different there. But how can I really tell??

I'm in love with my best guy friend, and I don't know what to do! We have been friends since fourth grade and now we're seniors, and my feeling have been developing for him for the past year. I have told him that I like him, and he hasn't really said anything either way, but he has been coming around more and trying to spend more time with me. He and his girlfriend of sorts are pretty much over. He hasn't broken up with her yet but it's because he hasn't talked to her in over a month. I don't know how he feels...but it only makes sense that we are together. We are absolutely perfect for eachother, but I don't really have any idea of his opinion. Is he trying to avoid the topic or is he just nervous on how to bring it up...HELP! Maybe a guy could give me his opinion as a guy, or a girl could share an experience! Thanks!!