curly183

Ok, I feel better. Yea, we'll see how long the free pass thing lasts. Just kidding. Thanks guys

It's really funny that you say that, because it was really bothering me yesterday and he called and said he went to the store and got a few things...one of which was a toothbrush! I felt so happy. I have done a lot of nice things since the whole fight and so has he. I want to just chalk it up to experience and move on and forget it but I seem to contemplate things so much, it's just really making me feel guilty right now. Thank You though

A few weeks back my boyfriend and I were out with friends and drinking and got in a big fight over something neither of us really know what it was about. Anyway, it did not end nicely that night. He stayed at his house and I stayed at mine. The next day I went over to try to make up with him and he was still drunk and being very rude to me the whole time I was there, making me very upset. Before I left I dipped his toothbrush in the toilet and went home. I have never done anything like this before, and I had not even thought about it until yesterday. Well now I seem to think about it a lot and it really upsets me. I feel so bad for doing it. The toilet just had water in it. Also, I stay there sometimes and he has a toothbrush for me. I usually get them confused so I may not have even used his toothbrush which doesn't matter because I won't even use mine anymore, but still the possibility makes me upset. I feel so guilty for doing it and I definitely don't want to tell him. He would freak out and things have been a lot better between us lately. I have vowed not to argue like that anymore. Is that good enough? Am I punishing myself? How can I stop feeling so bad?

I am usually not bothered by how much time he spends with his friends. I think part of it is bothering me lately because I just sort of lost my job and school is out for the holidays so I am stuck with a whole lot of free time right now. When I was working and in school it didn't matter how much he saw them as long as he made time for me when I was available. I think 4 days a week is a good amount of time to see each other. We live accross town from one another and his friends live really close to him so on nights we don't want to do the driving, he sees them. But the thing is--he always sees them. I don't think he is trying to replace me with them or he likes them more than me. It is just frustrating to always feel like I'm competing with this group of people. He has his own house and I live in my own place so we're not going to be moving in together any time soon. He says he wants to make me happy and he wants to be with me and everything, but I'm sick of always feeling like I'm nagging him. I usually let it slide but after I start to feel neglected I make my feelings known. He asked me today what he could do to make things better and I just told him that I would like to see him, whether its 2 days or 5 days a week, and just feel like I am number one on his list. I also said that I didn't want to feel like I had to always tell him how to fix things. Some things you have to figure out for yourself and I wish I didn't always have to tell him how to solve the problem. I dunno. What do you guys think?

My boyfriend and I have been together for 3 years and we actually just got back together a few months ago. We decided this time around we would make time for friends more. We both think it is reasonable to expect time alone and time with friends. However, as a girl, my friends all have boyfriends and jobs and school and we rarely see each other. I keep myself busy with school and work and other activities. My boyfriend works, and sees his friends quite often. I try not to get upset or jealous when they hang out because I want him to be happy. Some weeks we spend maybe 4 days together. Other weeks it could be more or less. We never see each other every day because it is just not feasible for us. However, I would just like some input on how much time with friends is too much time? He probably sees his friends 5-7 days a week for different spans of time. He might play pool with them for an hour on a Tuesday or he might spend all day Sunday watching football with them. Regardless, he sees them more than he sees me and I don't know if this is weird or not. He says he makes time for me and wants to be with me bla bla. I do not think there is anything shady going on. I am just not sure how I should feel about him spending that much time with his friends when I am usually alone. What should I say?

My ex and I went out for over 2 years and we broke up over this past summer. It was his decision. He said it was for different reasons, but when we talk, I think it boiled down to him wanting some freedom sometimes and he wanted me to get my own life. Throughout the breakup we stayed in touch and talked. About 2 or 3 months after the break up we started hanging out sometimes on weekends and talking on the phone every night. Well, now we are hanging out every weekend and during the week when we can both fit it in. We are both happy being together and it's great. We're pretty much back together and it makes me happy, but some things still bother me. I am very introspective and I constantly overanalyze things and think too much. So-- I guess I just feel like I want things to go back to how they were. I guess what I mean is I wish I could be happy without being cynical or leery. I don't know if I am just scared of being hurt again or what. I know I love him and something inside me draws me to him like I just know we're supposed to be together. Things seem like they will be better this time around than last time, but I am still feeling weird. Is it just my nerves and my fear? Are my feelings legitimate? Has anyone else felt this way? What's my deal? Any help is sooo appreciated. Thanks guys

He just turned 23, I'm about to be 22. My stories are all posted on here if you want to read them. I don't know how to find them though. Sorry.

My ex and I went out for over 2 years and we broke up over this past summer. It was his decision. He said it was for different reasons, but when we talk, I think it boiled down to him wanting some freedom sometimes and he wanted me to get my own life. Throughout the breakup we stayed in touch and talked. About 2 or 3 months after the break up we started hanging out sometimes on weekends and talking on the phone every night. Well, now we are hanging out every weekend and during the week when we can both fit it in. We are both happy being together and it's great. We're pretty much back together and it makes me happy, but some things still bother me. I am very introspective and I constantly overanalyze things and think too much. So-- I guess I just feel like I want things to go back to how they were. I guess what I mean is I wish I could be happy without being cynical or leery. I don't know if I am just scared of being hurt again or what. I know I love him and something inside me draws me to him like I just know we're supposed to be together. Things seem like they will be better this time around than last time, but I am still feeling weird. Is it just my nerves and my fear? Are my feelings legitimate? Has anyone else felt this way? What's my deal? Any help is sooo appreciated. Thanks guys

Hi everyone. I just wanted to say that when my ex and I broke up a few months ago this site was great and the comments from you guys really helped. However, something has dawned on me the past couple times I have gone here. Actually, I thought about it before, but was too in need of advice to listen to myself. The thing is-- there is no ONE answer or strategy to get your ex back. If they broke up with you, it's just not going to happen no matter what you say or do unless that person is ready to be back with you and has worked out whatever they needed to work out. If you are trying tricks to get them back into your life, you have to decide if you want your relationship to be based upon a big maniuplating scheme. Besides--whatever problems you had are likely to surface again if they haven't had enough time to work themselves out. There is no point in harassing them or trying to make them feel something or talk about something they don't want to. It will just push them further away. Believe me, the first few weeks after the break up sucked and I had a lot of ups and downs. Now my ex and I are friends and we are kind of in some in-between stage (maybe leading back to a relationship), but we're taking it very slowly and that's good because I'm not even sure what I want now, and I'm the one who was dumped! I just want you guys to understand that there's no solution other than to better yourself. Not for them, but for you. Learn things that you can change about yourself and how you can be a better person. Also--stop blaming yourself for everything that happened. No, I'm sure you weren't perfect, but no one is. Your ex isn't an angel and you don't see them on this website crying about how to fix their doomed relationship. They should be begging for you just like you feel like you would beg for them. Relationships are two way streets. I know it's hard and I know it's uncomfortable, but this is the situation you are in now. You have to believe that there is a reason that all of this is happening. Everyone always thinks the person that broke up with them was "the one." It seems like it never occurred to anyonw that they just miss the comfort of a relationship. Please just give yourself time to think. Time to analyze what's going on in YOUR head. Time to put yourself first and figure out what's best for you. I just want to save you guys some time in realizing things that took some of us a while to get. Good luck!

Hi everyone. I have been feeling lately that my ex boyfriend and I are coming to a crossroads. It has been almost 2 months since we broke up. We were together over 2 years when he decided he needed space to think and to take time for himself. He also wanted to concentrate on his work and I think the relationship was just getting stressful for all parties involved. He told me that he would want to get back together in the future, but that at that time, he just needed to be alone. (By the way--I know he's not dating other people, so don't worry about that). So--we had been keeping in touch throughout the whole break up process. We decided to stay friends and it was so hard but I managed somehow to stay friendly with him. Well, the last time I had seen him about 2 weeks ago, I got upset with him because I still had no answer for where things were going between us. I decided that I wasn't going to talk to him for a while, but I wound up calling him after 10 days I think. We talked about normal goofy stuff about what we had been doing and how things were, and he blurts out-- "so what would you say if I asked if you wanted to get back together?" I said, "I would say no right now because I'm not sure you know that's what you want...and I don't want to go through all this again in a month when you decide you want to hang out with your friends again." But he mentioned something about how he wasn't even going out much anymore and how he missed me. Well I just left it at that. Well, a few days after that he called me and we talked and we made plans to hang out. Well he came over last night and we hung out at my place. It was really good to see him and we weren't getting serious or deep which is a change from the last few encounters. Well, he started talking to me later, and he said how he still loved me, and thought about me every day, and how he knew I was the best girlfriend he had ever had and that he wouldn't find anyone as good as me. He had his head on my shoulder while telling me all this and when he got up I could see that he had been crying. So we talked a little and he said that he did want to get back together, but just not right this minute. He said yesterday that he was confused and didn't know what to do. I think he misses me and wants me back, but I think he is afraid because it was like we were married. I want things to be different also if we get back together. I think we had things we needed to change, but that's just stuff we would have to talk about. So I am not sure what to think anymore. I have been sad all day because it was like we were back together last night, and now I'm alone again today and I just miss him so much. I'm not sure what I should do. I'm not sure what he is going through or what path this is taking. Any ideas anyone? Also--I don't know how into astrology you guys are, but Venus (the love planet) is in retrograde right now which means that relationships can go through a backwards cycle and seem to be moving in reverse instead of moving forward. I think it will be in retrograde a few more weeks. Also-- I read in a magazine the horoscope for "him" for July and it said after the 22nd, his true feelings will come out and you will feel your fears evaporating. Mine said that the last week of the month (this week coming up) I will finally get the answer that I have been wanting to hear. I don't RELY on these things, but I just find interesting, and many times they are dead-on. So what's the idea here? Can you guys give me some advice?

She may just want to see what else is out there right now. Maybe she felt suffocated by the current relationship she had with you and wanted to see how things would go with this new person. It sounds like she is going through a selfish time and just wants to date right now. I would give her all the space she needs, but don't be there for her all the time because she will know you are waiting. Figure out if she is what YOU really want. Things like this happen for a reason although the reason is often unclear for quite some time. So take time for yourself and leave her alone. Often times when people want to date someone else they want to keep you "on the side" so that if it doesn't work out, they can still come back to you. Don't let her do that to you. You're worth more than her games and she is only taking advantage of you. Do you think you want to be with someone like that? Just try to be there for yourself right now and keep yourself busy. Like someone here told me-- "they'll come around one day, but do you want to be there for them when they do? " Something to think about. Good luck.

No, I wasn't replying to you. I was replying to "openminded." They're having trouble believing that 1 in 4 people are infected with STDs every year. Sorry for the confusion.

Look it up for yourself. It's a common fact that 25% of the population has a sexually transmitted disease. Where are you getting YOUR information from? It's not an uncommon thing anymore. Look it up on the internet or go to the library. You're being naive as to say that people with STDs are lepers. Just because they don't make it your common knowledge doesn't mean they don't have one. Wake up, kid.

You guys sholdn't judge a book by it's cover. 1 in 4 people contract STDs every year and it could be someone you know. Wouldn't you feel terrible if you were making a funny comment about STDs and your friend right next to you had one? Think people. Most STDs are cureable, and the ones that aren't, all but AIDS, can be supressed through medications. Stop living in the dark ages and grow up. You'll probably come into contact with someone who has one in your lifetime. Put yourself in that person's shoes. People who have them aren't necessarily dirty or whores or "players" or disgusting. It's the luck of the draw.

It has been a little over a month since I first posted in here right after my ex and I broke up. We stayed in touch and would talk maybe once or twice a week at first, but then I think he realized I wasn't going to freak everytime he called me so he started calling a little more. Well, once he heard I was taking a trip with my friends I got phone calls every day (it was funny how his tone was so sweet and endearing during this time, too). You see, one of his friends who tried to hit on me a long time go lives in the city we were going to and wanted us to contact him. My ex knew about this and would make comments about us "hooking up" which I understood to be pure jealousy and him just being worried about something happening. Well, as soon as I got back from my trip I got a call from the ex that night and the next day and the next day. What bothers me is that he will call often, but when he calls, the first questions out of his mouth are "where are you?," "what have you been doing?," and he wants to know "with who?" So I started getting the picture that he was only calling to make sure I was living according to his plan and not having TOO much fun or anything like that. Before I left for the trip we had talked a few times about getting back together--not now, but when he's had time to concentrate on work and hang out with his friends, and when it's right, I guess. We broke up initially because he said he needed to concentrate on work more and that he didn't want to put the effort into a relationship right now. Then it became the "I felt married" line and he was saying he wanted to go out with his "old friends" more, so he started doing that. Now he does his work and sees his friends a whole lot and it doesn't show any signs of slowing down. What's the deal? Am I missing something? So we had dinner yesterday to talk and it seemed like he's not really even thinking about whether he wants to be with me or not. He said he misses me and he cares about me a lot. He said he loves me, but when I asked if he was still IN LOVE with me he said I don't know and asked me if I was still in love with him. I don't know what to think. Sometimes I really miss him and want us to be together because I had so much invested in this relationship, but sometimes I just want to date other people and find someone new. It's such a confusing time. I think I miss him the most on the weekends when my friends don't want to go anywhere or they have plans with their boyfriends and I wind up staying home. I miss other things about him and our interactions, but I know I could find that with someone else. I like the fact that we still talk and can see each other, but it always leaves me wondering if THIS time he will want me back. I think that's why I hold on. I also don't want to lose this person who was in my life for so long. He did say that he thought about us getting back together sometimes, but he was enjoying being able to go out with his friends and not have to answer to anyone. I don't know if it will ever work. I just wish I could start dating other people and have someone to take my mind off of him. The dating scene is rough though. I'm a cute girl with lots of friends, I don't know what the deal is. I don't know, I'm just rambling. But any advice or suggestions would be helpful. Thanks guys.