Girlfriend says I’m quiet

So I was talking with my girl the other night while we were out for a snack and she mentioned that at times I can be “quiet.” She said that it doesn’t bother her because she knows at times she can be quiet also. I asked if her last dates were quiet also and she said no, but they did talk about themselves a lot which she disliked. I’ve always been the quiet type and usually I’ve been told that I’m quiet. Would you guys perceive this as a good or bad thing in my relationship? This isn’t the first time she mentioned this either but with how she acts around me and expresses herself she really loves me.

She may equate talking as feeling connected or good communicating. It's fine to be quiet. Tell people you're a good listener that's why you seem quiet.

It depends. I don't think couples who are hanging out together have to talk to be close. And sometimes -more than sometimes -being quiet together is closer than chatting. It depends- are you distant with her? Do you respond to her when she talks to you? Do you seem depressed or negative?

So you're too quiet and you're not suppose to talk about yourself. I'm not sure how to take that either. It takes two people to have a conversation. Is this silence making her uncomfortable? Is she not not having enough fun with you? I'd worry a little about this. Maybe talk about your feelings about her more.

Sounds like she expects you to carry the load of engaging her and entertaining her?

I've had quiet boyfriends, but rarely with me as *I* am a big talker, engaging, asking questions, etc.

Is she doing that or does she just sit back, not engage you, and then complain that *you* are quiet?

I've known women like that, they believe it's the man's "job" to entertain them and when they don't, there must be something wrong with him -- he's too quiet, not that interested.

Just another form of self-entitlement in my opinion.

That said, I love being "quiet" with a man too, just lying together, at the park, under a tree, saying nothing.

Those experiences can be quite intimate actually.

lol thanks! I'll remember that.

For the most part she is a talker also, and definitely brings up a lot of topics about her day and ask questions. I didn't perceive myself as quiet to her because I do listen and engage in her conversations. It's just "sometimes."

My guess is that it bothers her more than she says, if she's mentioned this a few times.

That doesn't mean you necessarily need to change who you are though, OP. Sure, try to be an actively engaged conversation partner, but you don't need to put on a show just to prevent her from thinking you are quiet.