I need help:( Is my boyfriend gay?

I have never used this site before, I'm just so stuck and I don't know what to do. I can't talk to anyone I know because of the situation. If I come across as a bad person, that is not my intention but I will start from the beginning and try and keep it short, I'm just desperate for some advice.

My boyfriend of 3 years is currently on a trip visiting his sister in America. I had a weird suspicion that something was not right, so I logged onto his tumblr. That's a total invasion of privacy but it has caused us problems about one year into our relationship.

Upon logging in I found three messages. One to a nudist girl which was friendly and didn't really bother me too much. The next two were explicit sexual messages to transgender men. I confronted him about this to which he responded 'I think I'm bisexual and did something stupid'. Anyway, I understood this as nothing had ever come of the messages there was never even a reply and we made up and he deleted the tumblr. He repeatedly told me 'I am not gay'.

However, on the SAME day he opened another account. This one was much worse. There are posts saying 'he's not a man anymore' and a lot more explicit sexual things about being transgender. I have been so supportive of him I don't know why he hasn't talked to me about this. I don't know if this is some crazy internet fetish or if he is truly trans/gay himself? I apologise if I have used any incorrect terminology I am very new to this. If he was, I would be genuinely supportive of him as after 3 years he is my best friend. He doesn't know that I know about this other account.

I'd really appreciate some advice on what anyone would do in this crazy situation. He is home in 3 days.

I suppose I am just confused, is this real life or is it just something to get him off online? He has mentioned before about marriage, kids etc and genuinely meant it (so I thought).

Any advice would be GREATLY appreciated thanks so much in advance.

K x

He told you what's up and that he goes outside of the relationship either way. If you're not ok with it you need to end it.

he responded 'I think I'm bisexual and did something stupid'.

It sounds as thought he's confused on his sexuality. He could be bi or gay or transgender. He needs to figure that out though and not have any shame about it.

It doesn't make him a bad person.

But he can't be cheating on you either.

You should sit down and have a talk with him and tell him that he needs to figure this out but until he does you and he shouldn't be a couple.

I know it will be difficult on you as you don't want to lose a boyfriend but he can't go on pretending to be someone he's not.

I hope both of you will be strong with this.

He is cheating on you.

I agree. He's walking on the wild side.