When will he stop partying and miss me?

My ex-bf of 3.5 years and I mutually broke up due to a lot of fighting towards the end of our relationship. After the split, I realized that I still love him and wanted him back. He also said he still loves me but was hesitant due to our fights. So he said to come back in a month if I still love him and we can go from there.

 

During the last 4 weeks, I went total NC in order to give him his space. Now that the month is up, I'm struggling what to do. He hasn't reached out at all and I don't want to go back only to be rejected. There's too many unknowns and I'm scared.

 

Also, during this period of NC, I heard from mutual friends that he has been dating around and he is in vegas this weekend. Doesn't seem like he misses me anymore.

 

What should I do? Should I continue NC?

What was it that you fought about? Has any of that changed? Did you just fight because you were unable to get along in general... you bugged one another?

 

Anyway, why even bother if you two are unable to get along and neither of you have done a thing to change your ways, no communication classes taken? No conflict resolution skills learned?

 

It will just be a redo of what went on before if you haven't worked on yourselves. Get on with you life and if HE contacts YOU then ask him to go to classes with you and if he won't then just forget him. Get on with your life as if he's never going to contact you. Zero contact and no creeping his social media sites to find out what he's up to. Loving someone is never enough to keep a relationship together and happy.

You've reposted this several times, but I don't see how anything has changed in the past 10 days.

 

Yes, he said to come back in a month, but what do his current actions tell you?

 

I'm sorry but if he was the one for you none of this would have happened. You can do better.

Why would he say to come back in a month? I never bugged him or anything. I would think he still loves me and only can hope that he misses me. But yes, his current actions are dating and partying. How long will it take for him to get it out of his system? Or do you think he has moved on and have forgotten about me?

Why would he say to come back in a month? I never bugged him or anything. I would think he still loves me and only can hope that he misses me. But yes, his current actions are dating and partying. How long will it take for him to get it out of his system? Or do you think he has moved on and have forgotten about me?

 

What *I* think is that YOU should move on and forget about him. Like I said, loving someone is NOT enough to keep a relationship humming along nicely. You need to have a lot more then that for it to work... you guys couldn't make it work.

I want him back. We fought about stupid little things. It was just lack of communication. Not sure why you're so adamant about me moving on. I didn't come here to ask that.

I don't think he's forgotten about you, but apparently he doesn't feel the same way you do anymore.

 

A guy who wants to hang on to a woman doesn't stay out of touch for a month and start dating around. I'm sorry, OP.

When he said to come back in a month, he was letting you down easily and trying to get to you heal and move on with your life without him. If he is dating already, then he is trying to move on too. Continue with NC, work on yourself, be alone for a while and NOT think about him. Be good to yourself.

I want him back. We fought about stupid little things. It was just lack of communication. Not sure why you're so adamant about me moving on. I didn't come here to ask that.

 

Yes, well I'm sorry that I and others are unable to feed you enabling dialogue, Chloe but the writing is on the wall. If HE contacts you after this one month let-you-down-easily period then by all means talk about it with him but I'd not be calling him and begging.

 

I'm sorry you're hurting but the quicker you accept that you're better off without him, the quicker you will heal and be open in heart and mind to find someone that you are more compatible with in general. Arguing about little things is about control and feeling out of it.... what about him (or you) was making either of you feel out of control to the point that it soured the relationship?

 

I'll add that right now you appear to be in the stage of denial. Get the book: The Five Stages of Grief ~ It may help you with getting through the pain you're currently in.

So he never wanted me to come back? I told him one month ago that I want to move on and that we should stop talking. That's when he said to come back in a month.

 

But if you all think he doesn't love me anymore and that he was letting me down easy, then I guess I was hoping for nothing.

So he never wanted me to come back? I told him one month ago that I want to move on and that we should stop talking. That's when he said to come back in a month.

 

But if you all think he doesn't love me anymore and that he was letting me down easy, then I guess I was hoping for nothing.

If he actually meant what he said then HE will contact you. You would never have to "call him in a month" to see if a re-do is possible. Again: try to believe that it's over, accept that. If he does contact you to reconcile then you will know that it was him that actually wanted this and you will feel all that much more loved and valued for it. Do not count on him contacting you though. Accepting that it's over will help you to feel better that much quicker.

 

Rely on friends and family to help you through this and to keep you busy so that you are not stuck in a loop thinking about him.

 

(( ))

Thank you. Makes sense. I told him that we shouldn't keep in contact because the LC we maintained after the breakup was so painful. We talked like before but without really being together. He said he still loves me but disliked how relationship was riddled with fighting at the end. Ugh I'm so depressed and hate this!

You mutually ended the relationship.

 

He should not have told you to go back in a month if you still loved him.

 

To me, that screams"I dont want this, but you do, and I don't wanna talk about it,

so I'm telling you go away for a month, and hopefully you get the hint".

 

I'm sorry to be so blunt. He's done with this.

 

Him being in Vegas is not important. He has a right to live life still , just because you

broke up does not mean he shouldn't be sitting home.

I know it is all so hard to hear and no doubt you have felt every day of this month with every emotion you have , but I have to agree with everyone else Chloe .

 

I had a quick flick back of your posts and saw this..

 

He also said that love was not "an in love" feeling.

 

It is easy to hang onto someone saying they love you , but he isn't in love with you and that is the bit that counts here . As said darling , if he wants to come back to you he knows how to find you .

Does someone ever think they are not in love because of anger?

Does someone ever think they are not in love because of anger?

 

Don't do it to yourself darling x