Guys Perspective

I started working full time at a company with the guy I am hooking up with. We fought hooking up for quite some time because we work very closely together and didn't want to complicate work. Well it's about 6 months later.. we both agreed it was just sex, but then we started hanging out all the time. It progressed into more. Long story short, he told me he liked me.. never thought I'd hear those words out of his mouth because he has been hurt in the past and is very standoffish in general. Texting me less and less.. makes me feel like I bother him.

We went from being amazing to almost nothing in a weeks time. (He travels so he's been out of the state) but I found out he lied to me and has been hanging out with a girl that is just a friend. First time he apologized and told me he didn't tell me at first because he was afraid I would get mad. Second time he told me he was with her but told me he feels nothing for her and just likes her as a friend. Problem is I know they had sex a couple times before. He told me this but swears that's not the case now. Well we got into an arguement before he left and we both were sorry and said we wished we hadn't left things like that.

He won't talk about us or anything, besides work, since he's been gone. He swears he wants to see me when he gets back. But he never apologizes and always makes me feel like an arguement started because of me.. so I always apologize even though it's not really my fault.

He also got upset that I asked about the girl because even though he said he liked me, he said we always agreed to just hooking up and I have no right to ask him about the girl he's friends with or get jealous.

He is right. But he used to tell me that girl was crazy and he never wanted anything with her from the beginning because he never liked her but they had sex like 2x and she got crazy attached. I will add though my guy needs surgery and she works for the hospital so he says he's only seeing her to be nice, one time he literally just drove her somewhere because she needed her car fixed, and then he was over at my place.

He's practically ignored me this week.. literally doesn't want to talk to me at all unless it's work related and usually if it's only work related to me helping him not him helping me.

I guess my questions are: why all of a sudden is he wanting to spend time with her?

I probably know the answer to this question, but just want confirmation... does this mean he really doesn't care one way or the other if we're anything and is probably only being nice because we work together and he doesn't want to ruin the atmosphere?

Or

Does he really like me and he's just slammed with work (maybe trying to figure stuff out between us) and I just need to trust the process?

I would just like a guy to give it to me straight. I'm a pretty tough chick so I don't need a sugarcoated answer.

Appreciate and welcome all feedback.

.....Good grief....come on wake up. This "friend" is his gf. He fed you a bunch of bull. He is cheating. Of course he doesn't want you asking questions and of course he will be standoffish about the whole thing. The guy is cheating and you are just a side chic. I would actually bet really good money that this so called "friend" would be astonished to find out that she is just a friend or crazy or so gosh darn attached to him or any other bs he has fed you.

Please stop drinking this cool aid and get far away from this creep. I mean far far. Like do your best to avoid him as much as possible going forward and never ever have personal contact again outside of work. Spare yourself some dignity and sanity here.

Hi ndya,

I am sorry that you are in that situation right now.

But let me first ask you a question: Did you tell him that you like him too when he said he like you? Second, you said you were only hooking up for sex, right? So no reason to get angry at him if he hooks up with another girl. Third, he likes you but he also likes the other girl. But, he does not love you nor the other one. He is just taking advantage of the both you. He gets to have sex to both you. For a man, that is ego boasting. Lastly, stop hooking up with him. You are just wasting your time. In the future, even if you two become partners, he will still do the same thing. So decide wisely.

Goodluck.

You know, I've never yet met a guy who showed he really liked someone by spending time with someone else. Especially when his time was limited by work pressure.

You already know the answer to your question...

I'm sorry.

The guy has a gf.

There is no future here!!!! He is a cheater. Be done with this!

Expect more for yourself!

You agreed to fwb and are now acting like a gf. When he returns you are going to interrogate him like a gf. He really doesn’t owe you any explanations as you agreed to fwb. Looks like this arrangement is no longer working for you. Time to end it.

Hi ndya,

 

I am sorry that you are in that situation right now.

 

But let me first ask you a question: Did you tell him that you like him too when he said he like you? Second, you said you were only hooking up for sex, right? So no reason to get angry at him if he hooks up with another girl. Third, he likes you but he also likes the other girl. But, he does not love you nor the other one. He is just taking advantage of the both you. He gets to have sex to both you. For a man, that is ego boasting. Lastly, stop hooking up with him. You are just wasting your time. In the future, even if you two become partners, he will still do the same thing. So decide wisely.

 

Goodluck.

I did tell him I like him too. He just recently started hanging out with this girl again. They only hung out twice around lunch time and both times he was with me after and swears he has done nothing with her it is strictly platonic with her. I do believe him because he's always been with me at night and on weekends. So I'ts not like they've been hanging out the whole 6 months we've been hooking up. Just seemed odd to me that he has hung out with her since he told me he liked me.