Bad break up in hopes to get back together

This is the 1st time I have ever posted about my relationship. I have read a lot of posts about breaking up and getting back together and I just needed some outside opinions on what to do, here is my story:

My ex boyfriend and I were together over 5 years, in that 5 years we would argue a lot over really dumb things that were mostly caused by me. We had broken up and gotten back together more times than I can count but we always worked it out. I believe this man is my soulmate. So about a month ago he ended it after I fought with him over something so dumb and he was already going through a rough time figuring out his career and getting really bad news about it and on top of that he had to have a double root canal and I was fighting with him and giving his family the cold shoulder, so he had enough. He ended it right then and there. Because of past experiences I thought we would get back together well it's been a month and he had recently told me to stop calling stop messaging stop showing up at his work his house (I dropped off my Valentine's Day gift in front of his door) and that he will never be with me again and that he would rather be 90 years old and alone then ever be with me again. I have been so sick and so sad and I realized only after the real break up of everything that I was doing wrong and I just want a second chance with him, like a real second chance because after all the break ups we literally get together the next day. Any successful stories of couples getting back together after a nasty break up where they would say they would never come back? Thank you so much

It's hard to say if he'll come back, but you can use this experience to fuel your own personal growth. Many couples fight regularly, but there's a point where a resentment threshold gets crossed -- when annoyance turns into contempt.

I was in a relationship like the one you described and literally held onto the resentment for a decade after it ended. I've grown a lot since then, fortunately, but I think it's important for you to understand what you might be facing.

For now, respect his wishes and let him contact you if he changes his mind. Don't wait for him forever, though.

This is a huge red flag that you can't get along 31;6753362]We had broken up and gotten back together more times than I can count but we always worked it out"Soulmates" don't break up repeatedly 31;6753362]I believe this man is my soulmate.You need to let go and go no contact and delete and block him so you can reflect and heal and move forward.

This was a creepy/stalker maneuver and he was correct telling you so stop doing this 31;6753362]he had recently told me to stop calling stop messaging stop showing up at his work his house I dropped off my Valentine's Day gift in front of his door

Any successful stories of couples getting back together after a nasty break up where they would say they would never come back? Thank you so much

Sorry, I haven't heard of any successes of lasting relationships when they constantly split up over and over again.

Too much drama for one person two handle let alone both individuals.

Maybe this is a sign to move on for good?

So what happens if I don't want to move on? I know I need to leave him alone and I know there was a lot of drama but I'm trying to get some clarity or insight on if this could ever work again?

Would you have ever gotten back with your ex? He's so angry with me and I just want to know if that subsides and if he ever misses me and thinks of the good times?

"So what happens if I don't want to move on? I know I need to leave him alone and I know there was a lot of drama but I'm trying to get some clarity or insight on if this could ever work again"?

Well, if you don't move on then you're in for a bad roller coaster ride of emotions. Let's be honest, nobody who is dumped wants to move on, you're moving on because that's the only thing you can do. Not moving on means you've relegated yourself to living in the past, you've given up on the future.

I wouldn't worry about him coming back, the cycle of breaking up and making up was the mark of death for your relationship. Take time to heal and reflect, give yourself a chance to grow and see how you feel then.

Give him the gift of turning 90 and being alone.

Would you have ever gotten back with your ex? He's so angry with me and I just want to know if that subsides and if he ever misses me and thinks of the good times?

During the time I spent resenting her I did occasionally miss the good times, but they were eclipsed by the bad ones. It wasn't until my resentment faded that I even remembered how it felt to love her, but by then too much time had passed and we were both with other people. It's probably for the best, as we might have fallen into the same dysfunctional patterns if we had decided to try again.

Why did you persist in arguing with him about dumb things, particularly when he was going through a rough time? Were you convinced that he was so crazy about you that you could act as bad as you wanted and he'd always come back? Why would you treat someone you allegedly love this way?

In all honesty now looking at it I think it's because he started to become distant and cold so it was almost for attention as dumb and immature as that sounds, we are both 34 and had a life together and I'm wondering if there was anyway he would come back? No one cheated no one lied, I am so depressed and distraught and I wish I could just take it all back

So he got bad career news and had to get a double root canal...and yet, you blame HIM for being "distant and cold"?? So essentially, you're saying it's HIS fault you started petty arguments to get attention.

He's tired of your childish "me, me, ME" routine. And it's really hard to blame him.

He probably doesn't want to go back because he knows it will be more of the same treatment, and he's sick and tired of it.

Too bad it took him finally getting fed up and leaving for you to realize it's not nice to treat someone who loves you this way. Lesson learned for your next relationship.

I know I'm a big ol ass and I f'ed up royally!! So my question is can you come back from something like this?

He probably does think of the good times but if the bad outweighs the good then what is it really worth? If the relationship is more of a hinderance than a help in trying times why would he stay? If you constantly bring him problems when he is looking for peace what is the point? I know you now realize what you had after it is gone but sometimes it's best to know what you have when you have it. 5 years is a long time to throw away but better to start 5 New Years with peace than to go 5 more in dysfunction and have 10 years worth of regret. Give him space, if he wants you he'll come back but you have to respect his wishes.

Yes. Learn that when someone loves you, it's NOT OK to start petty arguments to draw attention to yourself.

In your next relationship, treat the person with respect and love.

"So what happens if I don't want to move on? I know I need to leave him alone and I know there was a lot of drama but I'm trying to get some clarity or insight on if this could ever work again"?

 

Well, if you don't move on then you're in for a bad roller coaster ride of emotions. Let's be honest, nobody who is dumped wants to move on, you're moving on because that's the only thing you can do. Not moving on means you've relegated yourself to living in the past, you've given up on the future.

 

I wouldn't worry about him coming back, the cycle of breaking up and making up was the mark of death for your relationship. Take time to heal and reflect, give yourself a chance to grow and see how you feel then.

my sentiments exactly