I'm falling quickly for someone and am nervous to mess it up

I have been chatting with a coworker and we decided to hang out last week. She's pretty yes, but I always approach hanging with new female friends objectively to be safe. We wound up getting coffee, and out of nowhere had some of the most intimate conversation I've ever experienced. She listened to what I said and was genuinely interested as well. We go back to my place for a bit and sit on the couch and hold hands and continue to talk for a while, but that was it for the first night.

Fast forward to a couple days later when we decide to hang again in her neighborhood. It was once again, very intimate conversation, and I began to get a little nervous since I really was connecting with her on a slightly romantic level. We go back to her place and she lets me stay over and we proceed to hook up. Afterwards, we are having "pillow talk" about how real lief has been and she tells me that she has really been enjoying spending time with me. She is overwhelmed by moving to a new city and I found out that she left her boyfriend before moving a couple months ago. She also misses her family and is nervous about pursuing her interests in a new city. She has gone on a lot of tinder dates (mainly for the sex) so she's been dealing with loneliness.

Fast forward to us being at work together later i the week. We work in different areas so I only see her a few times a shift so it's not a super close proximity. She smiles sincerely when she sees me and we converse relatively normally being coworkers, with a small bit of flirting. However, when I see her now, I get really excited inside and utilize a lot of effort to not act weird or different since we've hooked up. I know we will most likely hang again, but I also know that she has a lot going on that is stressing her out (and she masks it very well at work) and I'm nervous that her liking me back is going to complicate things even more for her. I'm quickly falling for her and don't want to mess this up, but I just get so excited whenever a new love interest comes into my life. We're both off tomorrow so I'm contemplating seeing if she's free to hang.

Man are the odds against you..

- She's a coworker. (Relatively new to the company even?!?)

- She just got out of a relationship.

- She's new to the city, wanting to explore and "have fun"

- "Have fun" meaning tinder and sex, sex and tinder

- It's only been a week!!!

I'd rule this one out. I'd also be edgy and say you were thinking with the wrong head. The connection is nice, the intimacy feels great, but it's a fast ride sure to crash and burn. Whether you listen to the coming advice or not, just remember to enjoy yourself and don't overthink too much on messing things up. It's a situation waiting to set off, but in time.

If you want to shine above the other hookups, why not ask her on a real, grown up date? She's new to the city. Do some exploring. Go for a hike in a local park. Go to a museum. Take her out dancing. Show her you want to get to know her, not just for a hookup. You will find out over the next few months if she has the same dating goals as you or not. There is no crystal ball to show you the future. You have to put in the time and see for yourself.

I don't know why you worry for her that being with you will be stressful. She's an adult and can exit whenever she wants to. I do agree with the other poster, though. Dating a co-worker is often not in a person's best interest. For one thing, most new relationships don't end up working out, and then you have the awkwardness of still seeing them daily. You also don't want to look less professional at work with all the flirting and chats at your desk.

I personally see some red flags with her. It might not be that she is looking for a relationship but someone to be emotionally intimate with. When I first moved to a new state I longed for a personal connection with someone because I felt alone and a little homesick. I clearly wasn't ready to take the dive but having someone around really helped me adjust to the emotions of dealing with the move, a recent breakup that I had, and because in part, I was self destructive.

I'm not saying that you shouldn't date her but I think you are doing the right thing with wanting to not get invested too quickly. She's still trying to land on her feet and she might be looking at you as a crutch help her feel more satisfied with the stress of moving away and not having anyone to spend her time with. Proceed with caution.

Great advice, much thanks everyone. If I'm to just chill and relax a bit about it, how do I control the butterflies and overall giddiness I get when I see/talk to her? How does anyone for that matter??

Great advice, much thanks everyone. If I'm to just chill and relax a bit about it, how do I control the butterflies and overall giddiness I get when I see/talk to her? How does anyone for that matter??

You have to protect yourself first and foremost. Just remember her current situation and keep your guard up. You might end up needing to have a discussion in regards to her current needs and wants and proceed accordingly. Becoming giddy and having butterflies is normal but you are opening yourself to potentially get hurt. Think with your head and think logically about what's going on in her life.

Man are the odds against you..

 

- She's a coworker. (Relatively new to the company even?!?)

- She just got out of a relationship.

- She's new to the city, wanting to explore and "have fun"

- "Have fun" meaning tinder and sex, sex and tinder

- It's only been a week!!!

 

I'd rule this one out. I'd also be edgy and say you were thinking with the wrong head.

Indeed. The odds are not in your favor.

In fact, they are running in the other direction.

Slow things down a bit. Go out on dates if you want more than netflix and chill hangouts and hookups. Lighten up the conversation and don't invest this much emotion or over-share.

If I'm to just chill and relax a bit about it, how do I control the butterflies and overall giddiness I get when I see/talk to her?

I think I'm going to take a step back for a brief moment. I got a little too eager after the first couple dates and need to continue to focus on me primarily. She is super awesome, but I'll leave it up to her to hang again. She has a lot going on and I would feel bad to contribute to such. I'll be able to see her at work and not get too anxious, I think now. Thank you everyone for listening and being supportive