Is my ex coming back again?

I need you guy's insights on if you think my ex will come back any time.

We met in 2015 before Vday, and we dated for about 6 months. He was very much into me then, and he asked me twice to be his girlfriend but I refused. The reason being I was very confused about my feelings, and I couldn't make a decision. So we parted ways.

I was sad and I missed him terribly after that for about 1 or 2 months, and then I moved on in my life to date, work, and to have fun. I was rejected by another guy whom I really liked, and was feeling miserable. Right around that time, my ex re-appeared in my life, and we started dating again. Please note that I was selfish then to rely on him as a rebound to recover.

After two week's of dating, we were official. Yet, our relationship was never normal.

During the time when we were together, I was busy with work, job changes, and working on my plans on getting my MBA. During the 6 months we were together, I was gone for about 1 month for international business travel, and he was gone for about 1 month for family related affairs. It was totally my fault that I didn't make time for us, so we only saw each other about 1 time per week.

I came into the relationship while being very immature and with the mindset of resenting men in general, having no trust in men, dealing with low self esteem and insecurity issues. I was also very arrogant, ignorant, and oblivious of his efforts, his feelings, and his affections.

Overall, I was being a bad person to him. I didn't appreciate him or encourage him, and I seldom returned his affections. At the same time, he was trying again and again to win my heart, while I was being emotionally dramatic and insecure. During every date, we would have some sort of unpleasant exchanges or events, which was killing him slowly; yet, I had no idea, because I was so self absorbed and blind to his reactions. And I thought I was fine.

It was about 3 months ago, I started thinking of him more and more every day, and I was falling for him. But my pride wouldn't allow me to show too much of my emotions. On the flip side, I was getting more and more unreasonably emotional and would react to things in the worst ways possible. While he was away for his family affairs, I realized that I had fallen for him without me realizing it.

Yet, I started another argument with him after his return, and he wanted to break up with me. However, he agreed to give this one more try after that. At that time, we didn't even seem happy on the outside, so I had a feeling that something would happen sooner or later. 2 days later, my emotions let go of me, and we had a terrible fight which caused him to finally break up with me. I was devastated, and I begged him again and again to take me back, but he said no.

During the last 30 minutes of our last meeting, we were holding each other in the arms, and we cried the entire time. I made my confessions in terms of how much I was sorry for my behaviors, how much I was suffering because I wanted to get closer to him, how I was falling for him in the past 2 months, and the fact that I was in love with him. Tears started streaming down his face, and he kissed me one more time. He then pushed me (while I was hysterically crying) into my car, and told me not to drive until I was calm. He run away faster and faster as I shouted " I love you" to him. He didn't come back, he told me that I trampled all his affections into ashes, and his heart was dead.

As I'm writing this thread, I'm still going through this terrible breakup. And I regret every behavior. Since then, I have been reflecting my behaviors with him, the root causes, the person I was, and the person I am working towards to become. He literally changed my life for the better! I have been living in guilt, tears, and remorse everyday, my heart hurts as I take each breath, when I'm awake, and when I'm asleep. I couldn't stop thinking of him.

So guys, please tell me, do you think he'll come back again for the third time? I really want to love him the way he always wanted me to. And how can I get him back? I am sending a care package of all the things I thought he would need in a month for his birthday, because I was going to do the same anyway.

Guys, please comment!

Resolve the fear of hurt or rejection otherwise you will push him away if he comes close again. He may sense this.

I came into the relationship while being very immature and with the mindset of resenting men in general, having no trust in men, dealing with low self esteem and insecurity issues.

Wow! Sounds quite chaotic! When was the last time you two spoke?

Funny thing is your story is similar to mine, except the gender roles are reversed. My girl left me for pretty much the same reasons and I haven't heard from her in 6 weeks. I think about her constantly. I'm getting better and I am going out on dates; got one for tomorrow but I still think about her and miss her dearly. What I would do just to hear her voice again. Anyways, I think where you're at in life, right now, like me, is a place where a significant emotional trauma has literally jolted your relationship paradigm in ways that may have caused you to really appreciate it more. This probably was a gift from God. Maybe God is setting you up to fall in love with the next person you meet and used your ex as your awakening. Who knows. Just something to consider. But in my honest opinion, you should NOT send him anything. The thought is very sweet but don't send him anything. Go NC and let him be. If you send him stuff he's going to back off even more. Please believe me. I know it's hard and your mind can't wrap around the idea but just do it. You stand a better chance getting him back by not being in his life right now. Let HIM come back to you. If he does you'll stand a much better chance at making things happen the right way if it happens. And if he does come back make sure you DO NOT screw it up this time. Don't take him for granted. Appreciate him. Love him. Encourage him. Treat him special because trust me, us dudes love it. But try not to do it too much to the point where it's annoying. Know your limits. If you screw it up by going back to your old ways well this time he'll be gone for good. So please take this advice. Blesses!

We broke up about 6 days ago, so we haven't talked since then.

Yes, paradigm for sure. He's so hurt, which I know. I'll think about not sending him anything, but how long will it take before he recovers? And what if he never comes back to me? I'd do anything to even hold his hands at the moment.

All you can really do is give him space. Hovering, sending stuff,etc. will not be received well if he is still upset. Go no contact and let him reach out to you.

I'll think about not sending him anything, but how long will it take before he recovers?

All you can really do is give him space. Hovering, sending stuff,etc. will not be received well if he is still upset. Go no contact and let him reach out to you.

Thank you and I'll give him space. I'll still put together the care package and start working on knitting a scarf for him, but I'll wait until he comes back to give everything to him. If he never comes back, then I'll send everything to him 1 year from now.

Why are you knitting a scarf, is it quite cold in Minneapolis this time of year?

Why are you knitting a scarf, is it quite cold in Minneapolis this time of year?

So o could give it to him as a Christmas gift....I've never knitted before.. so I'll have to start learning soon

Funny thing is your story is similar to mine, except the gender roles are reversed. My girl left me for pretty much the same reasons and I haven't heard from her in 6 weeks. I think about her constantly. I'm getting better and I am going out on dates; got one for tomorrow but I still think about her and miss her dearly. What I would do just to hear her voice again. Anyways, I think where you're at in life, right now, like me, is a place where a significant emotional trauma has literally jolted your relationship paradigm in ways that may have caused you to really appreciate it more. This probably was a gift from God. Maybe God is setting you up to fall in love with the next person you meet and used your ex as your awakening. Who knows. Just something to consider. But in my honest opinion, you should NOT send him anything. The thought is very sweet but don't send him anything. Go NC and let him be. If you send him stuff he's going to back off even more. Please believe me. I know it's hard and your mind can't wrap around the idea but just do it. You stand a better chance getting him back by not being in his life right now. Let HIM come back to you. If he does you'll stand a much better chance at making things happen the right way if it happens. And if he does come back make sure you DO NOT screw it up this time. Don't take him for granted. Appreciate him. Love him. Encourage him. Treat him special because trust me, us dudes love it. But try not to do it too much to the point where it's annoying. Know your limits. If you screw it up by going back to your old ways well this time he'll be gone for good. So please take this advice. Blesses!

After some serious consideration, I set an countdown on my app #28 days countdown has begun. I made an heartfelt, genuine, and tearful confession to him a week ago, and I would expect two things to happen: he'll either return to me or he is gone forever. But there's a limit to any waiting period, and I think 1 month is more than enough. After that, I would consider him being gone forever.

After you've learnt how to knit, and sent him that scarf, he'll be back. Without a doubt.

After you've learnt how to knit, and sent him that scarf, he'll be back. Without a doubt.

Why without a doubt? The more I think about it, the less chance I stand to have him back.

But there are these confusing 'in betweens', so it's not this simple...if only it were. would expect two things to happen: he'll either return to me or he is gone forever.