My boyfriend said if he were single he would not say no to a threesome. Advice?

Fairly new relationship, I am almost 24 and he almost 25. Been together for 5 months. He told me he has slept with 11 girls prior to me. He went through a party phase and did silly things but he did have a few relationships along the way too. I asked him if he has engaged in a threesome and he said no. He also said "you better not have either!" I told him no because I have not had a threesome and to be honest, I would not want to. My boyfriend said that he thinks threesomes with two guys and just one girl are gross because he would not want to see another man's bits. He then proceeded to say "If I were single and two girls asked to have one then yeah I would not say no, like most guys. But while in a relationship definitely not." This made me feel extremely uncomfortable! I wanted him to say he would never have one. I think it shows someone's true character because I see threesomes as just treating each other as pieces of meat (I know this is just MY view and not everybody will agree with me). I have a male best friend who I tell everything to and he said that he would never have any interest in a threesome because he respects women and there is more to life than just sleeping around. I guess I have been raised to see sex as only with someone you actually care about and are dating. I have never been into sleeping around. It just makes me feel that when single, he would just sleep with lots of girls just because, and not see them as beings, instead just pieces of flesh for some fun. No wonder he has slept with eleven girls before me! Was it insensitive of him to say that to me? It worries me because I feel like just because he is with me, he will not engage in a threesome, but deep down maybe he wants to? Am I overreacting? Thanks very much.

It's all how you perceive things. Threesome for me would be to enhance the pleasure of my partner and I. That's it

If I were single and it felt right i would not turn it down, either.

Just different views on sexuality. This doesn't have anything to do with character.

I'm a male and agree with your best friend and you!! Sex is primarily an expression of love, and secondly a physical act! It should be shared with someone you Love, and the fact it feels really good is just a big plus!! but like you said, this is MY VIEW lets see what others say?? I wouldnt have a threesome, hell I wouldnt have even slept with one girl unless I loved her much less 11... I have only been with 1 girl but we dated for over two years and at the time I thought she was the one.. Well Im also afraid of what it will be like to date again, are the girls out there that I might fall for going to tell me they slept around! Personally I dont think you are overreacting, I would have wanted to hear it too... like oh heck no i wouldnt, but he did sleep with 11 girls after all... I have a friend who has been with 12 girls.. they are like numbers to him.. I dont know this guy but he sounds different than say you, me or you guy friend... I completely agree with the part where you say I have never been into sleeping around!! I hope I can find girls like you! that share this ideal!!! anyways I don't know what to say, I mean are you planning on bringing this up to him, or did you just want to know what others thought??? if youve been dating this long its obviously not a deal breaker that he has slept around or would have a threesome, so either look past it, because some guys can change! or leave and find someone who shares your morals!! I hope this helped also Your guy friend sounds cool! I knew there were other guys out there that didnt just want to have sex all the time lol good luck

I think you are inventing things to worry about, to be honest. You should only be concerned about his fidelity in a relationship.

What I don't like is how he said you shouldn't have even though he would have been open to it.

I think you're overreacting. He didn't say that a 3some is the dream of his life..lol Just that he would try it if he were single and I don't see how a sexual preference speaks about character. It's just that..a preference...a fantasy of many guys (and girls)...some of them in very stable and loving relationships, too. I would treat this the same way I would a difference in political views or sports..i.e. as long as someone doesn't want to impose their fantasy/preference on me, they're free to have any preference they like.

I think you are overreacting. It would be different if he was trying to convince you to join a threesome with him. But it is not the point. He has clearly stated he wouldnt do that in a relationship.

Most guys fantasize about having fmf threesomes. It is a guy thing. I myself have already fantasized about MFM threesomes. Do I want to make this fantasy come True? Definitely not! Would I do this while in a relationship? NEVER. A fantasy is only a fantasy. At least he was open and honest to you.

I am like your boyfriend(except i have had a threesome with two girls) . I would never ever want to have a threesome with a serious girlfriend but while being single i wouldn't say no . That would be dumb .

It is very different having a threesome with a serious girlfriend and having a threesome with some "easy" girls you barely know . If he was coercing you to have a threesome that is a different story.

What do you care about your boyfriends past sex life? And who cares if he fantasizes about a threesome? Most guys do. At least he is honest about his sexuality with you. I don't think there is anything to worry about here.

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