Moving for love?

I met my boyfriend in college 9 months ago in KY. He is from NV and I am from TN. I graduated in May while he moved back to NV to continue his education. The option of having a long distance relationship was not there, he didn't think it would work.

That left me with the option of us breaking up or me moving with him. I loved him and life was fun with him so I agreed to move to a place I had never been for love and new adventure. So at 20, fresh out of school, I moved accross the country from my family, friends, and comfort zone to start a life with him there. The deal when I moved was for us to move back with my family in 2 years, knowing I want to raise my kids close to my family since I am very family oriented.

3 months into living together, I was homesick. One night he said that it wasn't fair that we were wanting different things in life and that it would be better to split up now because he couldn't promise he would ever want to leave there. I packed up my things, quit my job, and moved back home the next morning because I had no one there but him.

The next week, he came to visit and try to work through things. I realized I never gave the place we lived a chance and I regretted that. He agreed that in 5 years he could move back close to my family. It was hard for me to pack up and move back there with not knowing what the future holds. I could very much see a future with him and I hate to lose that: he is the perfect guy in my eyes. In 5 years I want to start family and I don't want to move after we do that.

Should I leave my comfort zone again, with no commitment, knowing the same thing could happen again? Or should I stay here and hope I find love again? At 20, I need to begin my career and start life; whether it be here or there.

Thanks.

Why would the second time be any different from the first. Stay with family and friends and start your career.

- After 3 mos, you were homesick

- HE told you, he couldn't promise he'd want to live there.

I guess you acted in haste and left fast.

After 9 mos together you DID make a BIG move! I suggest you take a while and really re-think all of this.

You've already had a taste of it now.... think you can handle it?

"Should I leave my comfort zone again, with no commitment, knowing the same thing could happen again? Or should I stay here and hope I find love again? At 20, I need to begin my career and start life; whether it be here or there. "

You were going with the idea of going bk in 2 yrs? And he says 5 yrs?

"In 5 years I want to start family and I don't want to move after we do that."

- Are you prepared to start a family there.. and not closer to home, since you are that family oriented?

yes.. a lot of thought needs to go into this.

You two met while in school... but, now what? Good question.

Again, think on this a while. The reality of it all.

Can YOU handle living away from home for years to come?

Wait... so you met him 9 months ago and moved to be with him 5 months ago? After knowing him for essentially one semester?

You're infatuated. You gotta start thinking about your life, not his. He's losing nothing by you moving to him. You stand to lose years of professional and/or academic progression by hopping around.

There are billions of people in the world and no shortage of people who would be perfect for you if it weren't for the fact they live hundreds of miles away. But, reality is what it is. You'll find another man who's equally perfect for you.

I think your gut is telling you that you should stay home with your friends and family and that you should get your career started where it is you want to raise your future children.

If you didn't feel that deep down, then you would still be with him in the place where he couldn't promise you that he would want to leave.

You've known him 9 months. You'll be fine in no time, even though you loved him, if you go zero contact. They say it takes two months for every year you've been with someone to get to the stage of indifference to them when you've done the work you need to do to accept it's over.

Good luck, no matter what your decision.

I would say that you shouldn't make that big of a sacrifice for love, especially since you've only known him for 9 months.Until he proves to you that he is serious about you two, stop investing in him

You've already had a taste of living out there. What, exactly, would make it better this time than it was last time?

You honestly have no idea where your life will be 5 years from now. Odds are you will not wind up living by your family if you stay with him. And what if some awesome opportunity happens that makes him move again? People just don't stay by home as much as they used to.

I suggest you end this and find a local guy that is as strongly rooted to your community as you are, if being close to home is really THAT important to you.