Confusing situation

Long story short, I was going out with a girl for 2 and a half years, the last year we were on and off, usually a week on, a week off, sometimes two weeks on two weeks off, but the last time it was nearly 3 months off and then we get back together for a week.

It ended by us being at a house party, everybody was drunk etc and there was a boy there she had sex with when we weren't together and he kept trying to hug her and she was hugging him back right in front of me, so me being drunk got very annoyed by it and had to say something to her and she said "what can't I have friends anymore?" and I said "I never said that, but to do that right infront of me giving the circumstances is quite disrespectful" and we argued. I would NEVER put her in that position, I would have stayed as far away as possible from the girl just to avoid confrontation, arguements, jealousy and not to see her upset, she claims she understands why I got upset, but I don't really think she does, either that or she doesn't give a sh*t about how I felt.

Anyway, after the argument about it and me arguing with him because quite frankly I don't want to a boy that's had sex with my GF be all over her, she splits up with me AGAIN. I spoke to her for ages on Facebook the other night about it and she said and I quote "We were together for so long and best friends for so long before it that I can't stop loving you, but I don't love you the way I once did/in that way" Now what I want to ask is if this is true and she knew she never felt that way before the argument because she said she knew, why would she have sex with me 2 times during that week, and I am not talking about a quick thing where she felt like it was unbareable and she was just doing it to make the spark happen again, I mean like full on passionately right in to it, loving every minute of it, don't want to go into too much detail but you get the idea, as if nothing had changed.

Another thing she said during that week is that I give her butterflies everytime she sees me, which I assume if you don't love someone in that way anymore you wouldn't get? & the last thing that REALLY gets me, is in the past she has said it and I asked her about it and she said she wanted me to think she never so I would move on ... but everytime we speak again she either instigates that we get back together or agrees to get back together with me.

Why would she do/say all these things if she doesn't feel that way anymore or does she feel that way still and its my jealousy that is driving her away?

any help appreciated, thanks for the read I know its a tad long, but if I went into more detail, we'd be here for days.

I would say change your look and attitude. Work on exercise eating better, get some new clothes, and work on better communication with her. Trying something different should make her see a new you!

Not really what I asked but I appreciate the read and reply. Don't see why I should change apart from maybe not going mental at her when she does things she know will annoy me, she should put in an effort aswell to make it work.

well it's that she thrives on infatuation maybe, definitely excitement and adventure, not that she has any intention on being serious or responsible.

her getting physical with her past sexual partner right in from of you is her spelling it out clearly she's not comitted to you.

her leaving you confirms that.

then she futher confirms it in the fb conversation telling you her feelings for you have changed.

i don't thik you'd be doing yourself a favor hoping she has any intention of "putting in the effort to make it work", she clearly showed and stated she's not planning to at all.

she chose a very poor, low and hurtful way of showing that her feelings have changed, i feel for you. but clearly she's not the person you should hope for or dwell on.

She is confused and isn't sure who she wants. She was also very disrespectful of you and right now, she's having her cake and eating it too. It's your choice whether or not you want to be the fallback guy. Fallback guy = not respected.

I think the post above was a prelude into working on yourself and making yourself more attractive so that she chooses you over the other guy. I think the improvement part is correct, but I also think you need to do it for your own good and stay away from the girl for a while.

On/Off is doing neither of you any good. It's like a mental game... crazy.

She's showing you no respect hanging with another guy she has been intimate with. I'd be ticked too!

is this what you really want? This hot/cold behaviour.. forever?

What you both need is someone you're compatible & happy with. This doesn't sounds like it.

I suggest you stop the mental anguish and end it.. for good. Move on with your Life.

Work on accepting this isn't working... take some down time to heal, then look at dating again.

I understand what your all saying, but it is very hard to let go, especially after every time she comes back around she tells me it will be different and because I love her in that way still I believe it. I'm left feeling like every girl is like this and will treat me this way now! When I know they aren't. I just want to her to be completely mine again and if she can do that like the way it once was everything would be fine, trouble is from now on I won't be able to believe it now, its probably for the best to just get over it. But the harder part is that we have the same circle of friends, and I feel like if she asks my best friends to go to a party I can't hang out with them because she will be there and she WILL do stuff right infront of me, much worse than a hug!

Why would she tell me she gets butterflies and tell me she does feel that way about me still when I was there a few days last week and then an argument happens because she has to be disrespectful she blows it off again and says she actually doesn't, and why have sex with me as if nothing had changed? I don't get it. That's what I'm hopeful somebody will try and explain, if they can, please.

I also don't get how people can say one thing, act like it for a few days then when somebody she has had sex with in the past she will hug them freely right infront of me especially when they know what it would do to your feelings. Tell you they love like they told you a year n a bit ago when other boys weren't even a concern. In the past if somebody she had previously done stuff with she wouldn't stand near them let alone talk to them.

She doesn't want to be with you otherwise it wouldn't be like this! Move on or live with this rubbish for a few more years! It's a hard pill to swallow but if you read my previous thread my ex did stuff like this all the time and it isn't a nice way to live life.

the last year we were on and off,

This is all I'd really need to know to keep it 'off'.