My Life- Thoughts and Happenings

Hi Lum,

I can understand why it might feel uncomfoetable speakibg wuth your neiighbour, but I tgink it would be okay to just speak openly about whatever you want to say to her about the cat. She is probably just a bit more slow off the mark with things happening.

Glad all is well with your health. Xxx

I have spoken with her. She apparently has an anxiety issue. She called me 5 times the other day, apologizing. She had been feeding the cat "just a little bit". We both agreed that only one of us should feed him, so we can monitor his health. The last call came at 9:40 pm, where she was worried that the whole neighborhood thinks she is a cat stealer. I reassured her, and she promised not to feed the cat anymore, so he will come home. I need to give him his flea treatment.

So last night she called me twice, worried about things. The last call, she said that she wants to make sure she understood our conversation from before. And she said that she took the food away all day, then felt guilty. So she fed him at 4 pm. And she keeps wondering why he stays in her yard and won't come back here. She promises me that she won't feed him again.

Still haven't seen him, but he did meow at me the other day from deep in the neighbod's bushes.

Seems the cat knows she is not doing well. I hope she can get some help for her anxiety.

I got a little worried about him today, so when she saw me in the front yard, I asked her if I could go grab him for the flea treatment. She led me to her back yard, and there he was, with some food and water in bowls for him! Sheesh! After she promised me she would not feed him!

I picked him up, brought him home, fed him some canned food, and put the flea treatment in him. He followed me outside and hung out in the front yard with me while I picked blackberries. He was pretty lethargic.

I do have to say that it was a hot day today. I had walked about 5 miles this morning and then came home to do stuff inside. I was shocked to find that it had become smoky outside this afternoon (from wildfires). Both my cats are lethargic, in fact my other cat is still outside under a bush somewhere. I assume the other one went back to the neighbor's.

Once it starts raining, he'll come back to my place, because I have a cat door. In the meantime, I think my neighbor is lonely and needs the companionship.

It will be a few months before we get our rains.

Personally ,I think she’s going to continue feeding him . I would tell her she can take over the price of the flea treatment and vet treatments if she’s that lonely .

Well, he did jump on my bed in the middle of the night last night, so that is a good sign.

I agree, she will likely continue to feed him. At least until her extra food is gone, or she gets another cat. My friend C suggested that I ask her for the leftover food, "since he likes it so much, and she does not need it anymore ". I might try that tactic if it is still a problem.

Anyhow, I did get the flea treatment on him, so that is good.

It is hazy and smoky outside today. Sometimes the wind blows in smoke from wildfires far away, and it settles in the valleys. We need a good rain to clear out the air, and to help the firefighters contain the fires.

Silver, you might be interested to know that some firefighters flew in from Australia and New Zealand to help us out. Perfect fit, since you are in your off season for fires. Hopefully we can do the same for your country during our off season, which is usually rainy here.

Oh younhave Lum. A fewvyearsvhavk, USA? Defence/Fire Authority lent us some aircraft ehich wasn named Elvis and sucjs uobwater from dams then dumps it over fires. Now we have many of our own. We ate having snow yere atm, though is about 100kms from me as our local altitude is not high enough. Its north, east, south and west of us. Before you know it, we will also be in fire season. I hope you are all safe there xx

Good to hear that we are sharing global resources. There is a new supertanker fire fighting plane that has been in use for a few weeks. It is a huge 747 plane, and hopefully it will make a difference.

A man from my church said that his son's home is only 7 miles from an active fire in Colorado! That would be frightening!

How fun that there is snow near you!

Younger son is with me for a few weeks, after having stayed with his dad for a few weeks. I am acutely aware that he is heading off to university in a month. I am feeling a bit of: "Yikes! There is still so much more to teach him before he launches into the world!"

Time has slipped by.

He is so ready to be on his own, however imperfect it may be. He will learn his own wisdom by making his own mistakes (but hopefully not disastrous mistakes).

My job won't be done, of course. He'll likely be here for the summers, until he graduates and is gainfully employed.

My older son is gainfully employed and living in another state. It is nice not having to support him (or worry about him) financially. But I do miss having him in town - the random texts in the middle of the night, asking if he can come over for dinner and to do his laundry sometime. (No one left to take care of my leftovers! Will have to plan a bit better)

I am making an effort to talk with him at least once a month, and I guess I will do that with the younger one too.

My life is changing - I've been so caught up with being a mom for 23 years. Now I facing an empty nest.

There are good things that come with that, though. I can eat salad every night if I wanted. Or no dinner at all. Fewer meetings to attend. More time for me, of course. If our marriage had survived, we would have had more time for us. But, it did not.

I have not dated since the divorce. We split up 9 or 10? years ago. I've had a few crushes, and a little interest from others. But no dating came of either, which is fine. My typical history - it takes me about 5-10 years to heal and regroup from a marriage or deep relationship.

I was married at 21, divorced at 24. Involved with someone else 5 years later. We broke up, then I met my next husband at age 31, and we married 5 years later. After 21 years together he bailed on our marriage, and while I'm not sitting here in bitterness - I'm also not actively looking for a replacement relationship.

I need to work on myself. My home is in disarray - cluttered, a mess. I have not taken care of my body, either.

So, now will be a great time to focus on me, and my own life. I've put my all into being a mom, at the expense of myself.

In the meantime, I will savor those moments with my younger son until he goes to school in a month. And then it is me-time.

I totally get you. I have put myself on hold for 21 years.

I've put my all into being a mom, at the expense of myself.

 

In the meantime, I will savor those moments with my younger son until he goes to school in a month. And then it is me-time.

That is commendable and understandable. I hope that you thoroughly enjoy your me-time.

I think it will be an adjustment. I mean, I do have a very full life - work, church, committees, friends. My schedule bursts at times!

But it will be different.

I think I will need to make an effort for socialization and companionship- something difficult for me, as I tend to be introverted.

Also, some parent type things will drop off my calendar.

I decided that I will continue to support my son's scout troop even though he has aged out of it. Some key families bailed on our troop and started a new one. Which is fine, except some of the key parents that would have taken up the reins went with them. So, I am staying for a year until this group stabilizes, because they have a long and deep history. I want them to survive, as I am very appreciative of what they did for my sons.

I totally get you. I have put myself on hold for 21 years.

I do know you get it, Sera...

That is commendable and understandable. I hope that you thoroughly enjoy your me-time.

Thanks Jib. Part of that me-time will be enjoyable, and part will be work. But I will be able to enjoy the results in the end, hopefully.

Ive had to deal with this a long time ago, and it is an adjustment. My case was a bit different to yours in that my son was 16, and decided that he was going to live with his father where there were no rules. I wasnt ready for him to go and worried a lot about him. Thankfully, by age 30, I can honestly say he has turned out very well. He was so good to me recently when I lost my close friend. Hes doing well in every area of his life.

I totally get the dating thing. I didnt think I would ever meet anyone I would want to be with again, but I have, and right now Im happy. It seems like society has changed somewhat with regard to mature-aged people and dating. I think if you meet someone who you feel is right for you, its actually better than when you are young. I didnt expect also that I would meet someone where attraction and sex would be the best of my life either. Of course, other things ate much better as well.

Go for it Lum. Know and find exactly what you want in a man, and dont settle for less

XX

I'm not looking now. Not yet.

But, I do have to say that if I should be blessed with another relationship, I do think that my wisdom will result in a better experience. I think back on the silly arguments I had in my last marriage and now I know what really matters in life. I have tended to be rebellious or stubborn, which didn't help matters much.

OMG, hard to imagine you starting petting srguments. Think maybe second husband wasnt the best choice. Xx

OMG, hard to imagine you starting petting srguments. Think maybe second husband wasnt the best choice. Xx

Well yes, that is true. He was indulged and spoiled, whereas I grew up with 5 siblings. We had to learn to compromise, as well as behave for the common good. An example of that was this- if there was very little milk left, we were taught to be thoughtful of who else would need some and just take a bit. My ex was taught to go for it and take it all. Sometimes gleefully.

So when things like that happened in our marriage, I was continually hurt and mad that he hadn't considered my needs. And then he would get hurt and mad because I was criticizing him.

His family constantly built him up and made him feel like he was extra special. I don't mean that he felt loved - I mean that he felt better than others, because his parents brought him up that way.

And then he always needed to be the center of attention. He also needed verification and recognition over and over. He would ask me, "Didn't I do a great job on that project?" And would constantly ask for approval like that. It was a level of neediness that was exhausting to me.

But as far as me- there were times in which I should have just let go of a disagreement. Because really it didn't matter in the long run. I thought it did then, but really it didnt. I am thinking that I could have handled some of that with humor. Who knows.

Anyhow, that relationship was draining.

My mom's cousin died yesterday.I think he was 89. My mom was pretty close to him when growing up. They spent summers together because her parents and his parents bought a cottage together on a lake. At some point my uncle bought my grandfather out, and they ended up living there year round.

Thinking of my cousins today.

Sorry to hear of your cousins passing x

Thanks Silver. He was 91 and lived a full life. His mother, my great aunt, had passed away years ago. She was like a grandmother to me.

I love evenings in the summer. The crickets are really chirping tonight.

Ack. I have to go back to work in a few weeks. In some ways I am already mulling work over in my mind - how to reorganize things, which meetings are coming up, how my students are doing...

But I also realize the goals I had for the summer and what needs to be done at home before I go back. Tick, tock, I'm running out of time...

Still plugging away at my home projects. Got some doctor appointments done. Still have lots of cleaning to do.

The blackberries are ripe now in my yard. The berries are huge, and pretty sweet! I've already gotten 3 gallon sized baggies full in the freezer, and they just started ripening up! So plenty more to go.