Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 15

Thread: My boyfriend wants me to delete my friend off facebook

  1. #1
    talula86

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4
    Gender
    Female

    My boyfriend wants me to delete my friend off facebook

    Hello, I need opinions on a disagreement my boyfriend and I are having. We have been on and off for over 5 years, and we are both 23 years old. During the off periods, he slept with multiple other girls, and I slept with one other guy. This guy happens to be in the same college program as me, and we slept together in 2nd year. We didn't have any feelings for each other and it was just a drunk thing. He has now been dating his current girlfriend for about a year and a half now, who is also in our program. We are in a small program, so almost everyone is friends. I have his girlfriend on facebook. I'm not sure if she knows about what happened between her boyfriend and I in 2nd year, but she is a really nice girl and we are friendly with each other. My boyfriend knows that I slept with that guy, so I have him blocked on facebook to make him feel better. Today he realized that I also have this guy's girlfriend on facebook, who I've been friends with for 4 years. I could have sworn he already knew.. but I didn't think it was a big deal. Now he is threatening to break up with me if I don't delete her off facebook. I don't understand why I cant be facebook friends with her. We see each other at school once in a while and it would be weird if I deleted her because we have so many mutual friends who talk. Anyway, the real question is WHY does my boyfriend want me to delete her? Should I?

  2. #2
    FrenchFries
    Platinum Member FrenchFries's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Posts
    1,273
    Gender
    Female
    Your boyfriend sounds really insecure and controlling. I have no idea why this bothers him other than the fact that she is connected to the guy you slept with. Does he have a habit of telling you how he wants you to do other things too? Do you both try to control each other's friendships? Either way, not healthy. Very immature.

  3. #3
    Tranquillo
    Silver Member Tranquillo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jan 2011
    Posts
    480
    Thanked
    1
    Can you see the girls boyfriends activities on her page? I'm not sure how the blocking thing works because sometimes you can still see tagged photo's through other people's pages even if you have that person blocked but yeh YOUR bf might be worried that you are still keeping tracks on the guy you slept with through HIS gf's facebook page. Also, if you have known this girl for 4 years as a friend, how comes the subject of you sleeping with her bf hasnt come up in topic? Maybe it is because you are not that close friends, in that case deleteing her from facebook shouldnt be that much of a problem and it will also calm your bf down.

  4. #4
    RedDress
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
    Posts
    5,530
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    137
    I agree that it's crazy. That being said, you cannot control another person's actions. So, while you have the right to keep her on Facebook, he has the right to break up with you if that's what he wants.

    Me? I'd take a stand and let him break up with me over it if he feels that strongly. He needs to get over himself and personally, I couldn't handle that level of insecurity on his part. For me, it would equally be a dealbreaker situation if he was digging his heels in that hard.

    Is it a dealbreaker for you?

  5. #5
    talula86

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4
    Gender
    Female
    Thanks for your response.

    No, I can't see his name or any of his activity on her facebook because I have him deleted and blocked as well. I don't care about him or what he is doing, so I'm not trying to keep track of his life. I have known her for four years, but we aren't close. She is very laid back so I feel like if she knew I slept with her boyfriend before they started dating (which she might, because we have many mutual friends), she wouldn't care that much. If I was to delete her it would make things weird and awkward between us because we see each other at school. I feel like I shouldn't have to delete her because it's also giving into my boyfriend's insecurity and controlling ways..

  6. #6
    DylanNotorious
    Platinum Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2010
    Location
    Nigeria
    Age
    31
    Posts
    3,289
    Gender
    Male
    Call his bluff and say "No" and see what happens. Would he really act like a baby over it? Probably.

  7. #7
    DN

    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    Posts
    42,515
    Thanked
    5
    Obviously he has reason to feel insecure because you two have been on and off for over 5 years. What caused those break-ups?

  8. #8
    OptomisticGirl
    Platinum Member OptomisticGirl's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2009
    Location
    Southern USA
    Age
    28
    Posts
    12,129
    Gender
    Female
    Thanked
    18
    I echo DN's question. It sounds like major insecurity on your bf's part but WHY is he insecure? Have you given him reasons in the past or has he always been like this?

  9. #9
    talula86

    Join Date
    Jan 2012
    Posts
    4
    Gender
    Female
    He was always the one who broke up with me, because he wanted to sleep with other girls. We started dating when we were 17 and we're 23 now. I lost my virginity to him and we were both our first serious relationship. He always knew I was the type of girl who he could settle down with, but he was never ready to fully commit because he was young and immature. He always came back to me though and I was never able to actually leave him even though I know I should have at times. Now we're older and eachother's best friends, and we are happy for the most part and excited about our future together. He's just still insecure about the one guy I slept with and he can't wait till I'm done school. He slept with about 5 girls while we were "off", although we still saw each other during those off periods, and I have been able to let that go as long as he has no contact with them.

  10. #10
    Destiny78
    Member Destiny78's Avatar
    Join Date
    Dec 2011
    Posts
    65
    Gender
    Female
    No, I can't see his name or any of his activity on her facebook because I have him deleted and blocked as well.
    But you can see pictures of her and him, and comments she makes about him - right?

    Your boyfriend sounds very jealous and insecure about your relationship, and it sounds like your relationship needs a lot of work in the trust department. You shouldn't be expecting your boyfriend to just be insecure and controlling forever, that's not going to make for a healthy relationship.

    Bottom line: I don't think you guys should worry so much about facebook, but rather you should worry about building a solid foundation of trust in the relationship. But since facebook is an issue for him I would personally delete her to calm his emotions tied to it. It's not a big deal to delete someone on facebook, but it is a big deal to have to fight over it or be upset over it constantly.

  11.  

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Top Threads
She cheated on me before. Is she still? Facebook pro's needed to answe
Long story short from the past with my GF: we went out, she went to the bathroom.. but ended up going outside to hit on guys and give out her number
Boyfriend and Female Co-workers
My BF of 4 years (we live together), works in a restaurant environment where it mostly employs college age staff. He is 36 and been there 10 years as
Boyfriend is very close to female friend?
I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 8 months now, and we've been together since we were 15 (He's now 17 and I'm 17 in June). We met through a
Not sure if I should end this
I have been in semi long relationship with my bf now for 6.5 years, Firstly I don't want marriage, and I can't have / don't want a child, but I do
Feeling Used
I have been broken and alone for a very very long time. I have shut myself off from the world because I am afraid of getting hurt again. I have been
Venting
I just need to get some things off my chest. Im very angry at myself for opening myself up to whoever i see different. Im mad at myself for putting
how should i react towards this?
I'm dating for about 1 yr and a half and i live with my bf as similar as a married couple for some months, at his house, shared with his sister. I
Featured Threads
Controlling or very opinionated?
Hi, my name is Michael. I came here for some advice on my girlfriend and I's relationship. I am 17 and she is 16 and we've been dating for just shy
Women who prefer/only date younger men
I am dating a woman who is 9 years older than me. However, going after younger guys doesn't appear to be her pattern. In fact, the age difference
Still feels like the first day...
Long long story short.. I'll Coles notes it. I meet the love of my life at a gig I was playing, we ended up not spending a single night apart for
My partner and I have different goals, values, and thinking, should we continue?
My partner and I met a couple years ago when she moved to the city I lived in. We had shared a group of friends but never really knew each other
I'm hurt and not sure what to do ...
So ,this is my first time posting here ,but My mother always said it helps to write things down .So here it goes ! ^^ For a couple of weeks now
Who Am I and What do I Want?
Hi everyone, and thanks for reading this. At the moment I feel like I am having some sort of identity crisis, whilst not knowing what I want for
Is it wrong that I still talk to my ex boyfriend?
My ex boyfriend dumped me last week because he was pressuring me to have sex and I wasn't ready to have sex and he keeps calling and texting me every
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •