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Thread: "Anniversary"

  1. #1
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    "Anniversary"

    Today is supposed to be the anniversary for us, he dumped me 3 months ago and I have been NC for the past 2 months. I have never heard from him since 1.5 months ago (an email and text messages he sent, which I ignored). Today I feel bumped out, I guess I am annoyed at myself that I remember the significance of this day yet he has moved on.

    How do you guys cope with significant days like this? It will be the first Christmas and New Year without him too, I feel a little depressed when I think about it..because we initially planned to spend it together with our families. Now everything was cancelled.

  2. #2
    Platinum Member mhowe's Avatar
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    Spend them w/ friends and family, people who care about you. If that's not possible, just remember the past w/ fondness and truth (he hasn't perfect), and know that the future will find you w/ someone else more suited to you if you continue to move forward.

  3. #3
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    My BU was 3 months ago also Since then I have been through his birthday and what would have been our 3 yr anniversary. His birthday was expecially difficult since i always put so much effort into it. But I guess you have to try and keep yourself busy, do something that help takes your mind off it, treat yourself to something nice and know that the feeling of extreme loss during that particular day/ few days will pass.

    I am also dreading xmas and new year, trying not to think about it too much or even make a big deal of xmas this year (which is unlike me). Just gotta remember this holiday will pass and so will the bad feelings that come with it.

  4. #4
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    Thank you mhowe and starrysky for the encouragement! I know I shouldn't be dwelling on this, just the fact that it was supposed to be the happiest moment in my life (we were going to plan our wedding during Christmas with both families) and now it turned out I will spend it without him makes me feel sour inside.

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  6. #5
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    That must be very very difficult knowing you were going to plan ur wedding, and I imagine that will probably add to the sense of loss you are feeling at this time. I think the most difficult part of this is trying to adapt to a future that is completely different from the one you hoped, and the one you thought you were going to have. I find it terrifying. But we have to remember our lives will not be defined by this one person who chose not to share in our greatness, and we were meant for someone better. I am holding on to the fact that I could meet the man of my dreams at any time, probably when i least expect it. We have been loved and we will be loved again when the time is right, more honestly and deeply than before. All that stands between this and us is time, and we must learn to be patient and let the healing continue even though it is very painful.

    You know that this xmas will be painful, especially since it had extra meaning for you. But know that like all things it is simply a time that must pass, and pass it will. When I feel really down, i try to remember this line: 'the simple fact that he left you means he was not the one for you'. You were meant for someone else, and so was I. We will get through this, just continue posting on here and look forward to the day when you can say 'I made it!'. Hugs to you x

  7. #6
    Gold Member Saffron_'s Avatar
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    I'm really sorry you're having to go through this at this time of year. It's particularly sad to be nursing a broken heart around Christmas/New year and like you say, you were supposed to be planning your wedding. I don't know what advice I can offer but I wanted to tell you you're doing SO well with NC. Most people cave in and contact their ex (I know I did a LOT) only to set back their healing, but you've been strong and very consistent. If it makes you feel any better, I'm sure he will feel the hurt you're feeling now. One day! It's just that he'll experience it later on down the line whilst you're having to go through it now. Whenever I've lost contact with someone I've cared about, I've always thought about them with some sadness at some time or another. Last time I went through a break up, the one good thing to come out of it was that it really made me appreciate the unconditional love of my family.

  8. #7
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    Thank you so much starrysky for the encouraging words..I do look forward to the day when everything regarding this relationship is out of my mind thousand miles away! It is just that right now I am still struggling to figure out my priorities in life and lose his identity in me as a couple. Today I feel down and take a couple steps back due to my expectation that he may have remembered how significant today is. It is silly but I actually hoped he may realize he made a mistake..anyways, I need to move on!

    Yes we will get through this and come out as stronger women!

    Hugs xxxx

  9. #8
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    Thank you Saffron! I do think about breaking NC and cave in, like sending him a closure email...but I don't have the determination to do so, I am afraid to be hurt again and I do not want to go back to that DARK place where I wallow everyday. There are times I am just sad/annoyed that he really gave up and did not even want to reach out to see how I am doing, after all it was his first and most significant LTR/LDR. I guess today is one of those days I am feeling down again. I agree with you on the unconditional love of family I received is priceless and makes me appreciate more how they support me through thick and thin.


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