Do most consider it cheating if you're not official?

If you're talking to someone for a few months and you haven't discussed being exclusive yet but likely plan to at some point and you spend a lot of time with them, is it cheating if you hookup with another person? I know most people wouldn't appreciate it but would it actually be considered cheating?

No, if you are not officially "together" or exclusive, then its not cheating.

But... if you know its heading that way, I would consider it wrong. Of course that leads to the question of if its heading that way and the intent to make it exclusive is there, why not move it forward?

Why do you ask?

As long as the other party is aware that you're dating others it is OK.

If you two are not exclusive and haven't yet agreed to see other people, then no, it's not cheating.

You shouldn't ever assume that someone isn't dating others when you're not yet exclusive. Make your desires known early.

If you're not "officially" together, then they're not officially cheating on you. They are still single.

But, like someone else said, it's good to let the other person know that you're dating others, IF they ask. But even if they dont ask, it's still not cheating.

The biggest way to get heartbroken is to act like you're in a relationship without BEING in a relationship.

No, if you are not officially "together" or exclusive, then its not cheating.

 

But... if you know its heading that way, I would consider it wrong. Of course that leads to the question of if its heading that way and the intent to make it exclusive is there, why not move it forward?

 

Why do you ask?

It was in regards to my previous relationship. She was going abroad for 5 months only a few months after we had met. So I was weary about dealing with that. She recently foundout through my former roommate(who I haven't spoken to in 2 years due to a falling out) who she ran into yesterday what I had did in the early stages of getting to know each other. While she's now moved on and with someone else, she's blasting me with the cheater comments. I'm not a cheater andwas 100% committed once we were BF/GF so I was just wondering if many people perceive this as cheating. Our relationship is dead and never coming back but I still don't want her to think of me as a scumbag cheater after all of this time.

Some people have the mental capacity to not be hurt over this kind of situation.

When people are dating someone there is generally a feelings attached and when one of them does not know about the other person they are having sex with then finds out later....say through getting an STD, all hell breaks loose.

It's one of those stupid unspoken laws in being unofficial which can cause serious problems between two people dating each other.

Some people abuse the unspoken rule by not saying they are dating someone else on purpose, so they do not potentially lose the options of dating the person who is against dating multiple people at once.

Personally I find multiple dating without telling the person a serious flaw in dating rules.

Personally I find multiple dating without telling the person a serious flaw in dating rules.

I've only been dating more than one person at the same time once...but I made it very clear to both that I was actively dating for this reason alone. I'm REALLY bad at keeping secrets. Probably the worst poker face in the world.

Well, I don't necessarily mean dating other people. More like flings/hookups. Just a couple times and nothing too excessive. If you're legitimately dating someone else then I agree that should be brought up as someone is going to get hurt. This was also during college where things tend to be a bit more free spirited in regards to undefined relationships.

I've only been dating more than one person at the same time once...but I made it very clear to both that I was actively dating for this reason alone. I'm REALLY bad at keeping secrets. Probably the worst poker face in the world.

Yeah regardless of the rules laid out which people seem to accept, I can't stop myself from feeling immense guilt.

If I could, I think that part of my life maybe a lot easier.

Well, I don't necessarily mean dating other people. More like flings/hookups. Just a couple times and nothing too excessive. If you're legitimately dating someone else then I agree that should be brought up as someone is going to get hurt. This was also during college where things tend to be a bit more free spirited in regards to undefined relationships.

I think it really depends on the parties involved and thier personal acceptance of hooking up with random people for sex, while still being interested in one person.

I know there are numerous amounts of people who feel they need to hook up people so they can be sexually satisfied enough to be able to settle with one person.

Some people link sex with nothing but a primal physical want, some people need love for someone in order to have sex with them.

If you are exclusively dating eachother, but did not have "the talk about going exclusive", you could argue semantics, but if you slept with someone else - its either cheating or just a plain relationship ender. Even if you are not in a "relationship," dating someone is a relationship. its not husband and wife, but its you and the girl/guy you've been seeing.

If someone just meets someone and the person goes away for 5 months, both parties have to decide if they just merely went on a few dates and if they are both available when they meet3 again, they will date, or if it means they are bf/gf. But honestly, if i was really into that person, i wouldn't go sleeping with someone else and pursuing someone else if i thought that the person temporarily away was fantastic.

In regards to is it cheating if you're just seeing someone. I recently found out the guy I was seeing for about 3 months hooked up with a girl. We were seeing eachother for about 3 months and things were serious; we even said we loved eachother/were falling in love with eachother and spent a lot of time together. Before I met him I had planned to go abroad for about 5 months but we talked the entire time and contuined to tell eachother we loved eachother so I assumed we would be together officially when I was home and it was obviously heading into that direction. We did get together the day I got home, he was the first person I saw and we have been together dor 2 years since then. But now I've found out about this and am really hurt, what should I do? I didn't do anything with anyone while I was away because I was in love and thought because we were gong to be together then what's the point of doing that when I only want him. Do I have reason to be upset or not?

Hayleyi: This thread is six years old. Please start your own thread. Thanks!

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