Help! I can't stop hating my dog!

Zeus is a 1.5 year old brindle boxer. We (my fiancé and I) have had him since he was a puppy. I HATE HIM. I have tried and tried to love this dog but I just can't seem to do it. I love dogs. I have always had a dog or 2 in my life my whole life. Everyone who meets Zeus loves him. He is pretty well behaved, listens, does tricks (sit, lay down, shake, ect.) and seems like a lovable dog. Reasons why I hate him:

1. He has ruined A LOT of my things, shoes, blankets, shoe rack, totally destroyed my bedroom, even ruined FIVE of his own beds. Every time I think its okay to trust him alone ITS NOT and he ruins things. He can't even have a bed in his cage because he will destroy it.

2. He is a whiner. When you leave the room he cries, when you put him in his cage he cries, when we take him in the car he cries(even though he gets very excited for the 'ride'). It drives me crazy!!!!!!!! I can't get him to shut up!!!

3. Although he 'listens' he will try doing the same thing I just told him not to do over and over and over and OVER. I say no lay down and it lasts MAYBE 2 mins and then he is trying again. UGH!

4. This really bothers me...if I am cleaning and tell him to go to a different part of the room so I can vacuum or whatever the space that he is laying in he gets like freaked out or something and won't go or will go but come right back so that I can't get done what I need. I pull him away and he runs right back! Its so frustrating!

5. TOTAL SISSY. He literally will piss on the floor or wherever he is if a strange man walks in the door. No barking just piss on the floor. * * * am I suppose to do with that? If I wanted a sissy freaking dog I'd have gotten a fluffy little dog!

6. He takes his food out of his bowl and 'eats' it in the livingroom but he drops it everywhere and doesn't eat what he dropped...just goes back for more and then I step on it!

I really want to like my dog. I don't know how. Everyone else seems to like him and my Fiancé is in love with him so its not like I can get rid of him. I wouldn't want to anyways. If you get a pet its a commitment and I made that commitment when I bought him. Please Help!!!

sounds like my boyfriend's female dog. *giggle*

Hate is a strong word. It sounds like you wanted a dog that was a certain way (not a sissy, doesn't pee on the floor, etc) and you didn't get that with Zeus. That's not his fault. He can't help the way he is in terms of personality. He sounds well-trained so it sounds like there are aspects of his personality that you dislike, except for maybe the floor peeing. That may get better with time, btw. My dog at home peed whenever a stranger came by but she doesn't do that anymore, she stopped that around 3 years or so.

1.5 years isn't that old for a dog. I think you may see a lot of these behaviors go away with time so I suggest waiting.

I know you don't want to give up Zeus. This is a sort of tricky situation. I don't believe in abandoning pets but I do know that pets can sense emotions. If you hate your dog, I'm sure Zeus can tell. I think he deserves to be in a family who will love him and really, he sounds VERY lovable.

If you do decide to give him away, I would do it to a no-kill shelter only or perhaps a friend/family member who knows him and already loves him.

Boxers are a different breed in which they need a lot of exercise, attention and love. My dog was a brindle just like yours and at first he destroyed my shoes, the top of my cell phone (this was 10 years ago). He actually almost did the same things Zeus does. Then we taught him how to behave with every person in the house.

You need to get him in training for one because he doesn't respect you and two you need to understand that he will whine and cry for you or anyone else. If he cries in his cage, he will get over it. It's just him testing his boundaries as well.

Best thing to do is to show him that you are not frustrated with him, teach him to respect you and he will mellow down as time passes. Give him lots of love and affection when you can and set boundaries. Take him for long walks or even runs if you can. The dog park is a great place to let him run every single part of excess energy off. Once the manners and training sets in, you will have a better admiration for your pet, and he in turn will love you a lot more.

My heart goes out to you, and I admire how seriously you value your commitment.

I ended up with a shelter cat named Butch who my sister rescued but couldn't keep with her dog. Butch was sweet most of the time but turned abusive on a dime--I think he hallucinated. My hands, arms, legs and feet were bruised and cut up for the first year. He'd attack me, HARD, then run, and I'd yell after him, "Now I know why you were in a shelter!"

But like you, I was in it for keeps.

I decided that Butch was sent to me as a test of my character, my patience and my intelligence. The test wasn't about whether I could charm the animal into being how I wanted, but rather how well I could learn to manage myself and my household to accommodate him.

I interviewed experts and studied everything I could about cat behavior, but not because I believed that I could train the cat. This was about understanding the animal and then training myself to handle him.

What kinds of investments have you made in learning how to train yourself to handle the dog?

In your corner.

That is a strong word to use about your dog. You've really only got two options. Either try to like him or give him up.

Have you taken him to obidence or some sort of dog school? Put a fence or gate (those kiddy gates work great) to rooms he isn't allowed in (such as bedroom). Many dogs destroy a lot of their stuff. They rip, chew, shred everything. If he is shredding his bed and your things - does he have enough toys to keep him occupied. Sometimes its out of boredom they do it. Give him toys where you have to put treats in and he has to get them out. It can keep dogs occupied for hours if its a treat they love. Many dogs get separation anxeity from their owners. They whine when they leave the room. They are like babies. When he was a pup, if he whined when someone left, and he was fussed over because of it (easy to do), he learns that he gets attention by whining. With the car, if your there, have you tried sitting with him in the car? Maybe he's scared (noises, movement etc) or could get car sickness (try ginger biscuits). He isn't a sissy either. He could be scared or frightened. Dogs can sense things humans dont. Maybe he is just more of a timid dog. I knew a great dane dog that was similar to this.

You haven't had him a long time. You could have him for another 12+ years. Also, remember that he is a dog. He doesn't always know what you are thinking or what you want. You have to spend a lot of time with a pup to teach them right from wrong.

Can you try spending some times with him alone, not in the house, but take him out for a walk, have some games with him. Maybe you'll learn to like him. Try to see his 'cute/fun side' instead of the bad thigns he does.

With the other stuff, you pretty much have to just put up with the 'bad' behavour of a dog sometimes. It comes hand in hand! They can be angels and devils at the same time. I have a 6 month old pup and i could never ever hate her. She does bad things of course, but i dont let it make me hate her, because she is a great dog otherwise and i couldn't imagine life with out her now! When she does stuff its more 'cute' so its easy to laugh at it then be frustrated to the point of hate. Basically, while the dog grows, and you can teach it things and it will learn, it probably doesn't really get out of the mental equivelent to a 2 year old child. It wont always understand what you say!!

all the best.

Boxers can be the most infuriating of dogs, but if you patient with them, they are the most lovable of any dog breed!!!!

Boxers are, by nature, very hyperactive and give off the vibe of being dumb, but they are truly smart dogs. You NEED to get your dog exercise, and regular exercise especially if you don't have another dog for Zeus to play with. Your post reeked of lack of exercise lol. That's why dogs whine and tear things up, they are bored and need something to activate their stimuli.

Also, he probably feeds off of your anger and frustrations. If you get frustrated, he will too. You have to have patience. It seems he has separation anxiety and that is a difficult thing to deal with I am sorry. Exercise will help that one too though.

Exercise and playing with your dog will make him so much happier and obedient it will blow your mind. I read somewhere that humans need to spend at MINIMAL 30 mins of one-on-one attention with their dogs a day to establish a respectable bond with their animal. I think 30 mins is nothing, and we knock that out in the morning before I go to school, but I give my dogs a lot more time than just 30 mins.

Dogs are very intuitive and I think the more time you spend with him, get him running until he's out of breath and tired and are patient he will come around.

I owned a boxer once, and he required at least two hours of exercise per day to keep him from destroying my things or digging big holes in my yard. I finally had to give him away because I just didn't have the time to do him right. Boxers are smart, intelligent, and needy dogs.

My dog gets A LOT of exercise. My fiance is home 3-4 days per week and on the days he is not home his grandmother who lives up the road comes and picks him up for the day and he has a giant yard to run around and play with and another dog to play with. I really don't think that exercise is the problem. I have had dogs my whole life, Zeus is definitely not my first but he is the first dog that I have not fallen in love with. I don't even want to go near him or have him come near me. Everytime I look at him all I can think about is all the stuff he has ruined in my life and how life was better before him. I can NOT get rid of this dog. Its not even an option which is why I am writing asking for help. I have been screwed over time and time again by people and I always forgive them...why can I not forgive this dog?! =[ I am not a bad person. I am one of the most loving caring people out there and I just don't get why I hate the dog so much when others make it seem like he is so easy to love....

Sorry you are experiencing these difficult emotions. I applaud you for saying that getting a dog is a commitment and that you want to try to like him

Let me suggest that your dog may suffer from somewhat of an anxious, oversensitive nature and this is something you need to accept and work on. You say he's a sissy (tendency for fearfulness) and whines easily (tendency for overarousal and impulse control difficulty). This is his temperament. You must work with him not against him. And it's true that boxers tend to be hyper and need LOTS of exercise.

Try to let go of your anger. Dogs who are anxious and bored will tend to chew a lot. the more you allow him to rehearse the chewing behavior, the more he will take to liking the types of things he chews. Crate train him and always keep him crated with appropriate chew toys, or else tethered to you. He must learn to chooses only appropriate chew toys. Reward him when he does (but he must be managed, meaning crated or tethered to you).

Obedience training will not improve directly anything as far as chewing habits. That is a question of management (supervise and crate) and stimulation (training, exercise, to keep him tired and reduce boredom). He may be a heavy chewer because of the anxiety. The more stress and frustration and punishement he is around, the more the nervousness and anxiety increase and so the vicious cycle goes.

I would get involved in a positive training class (look for clicker training) which will teach you to train him while getting him THINKING (which is stimulating and tireing) instead of working with leash pops/choke collar corrections (which will increase his anxiety as he will be working only to avoid a correction).

STOP feeding him kibble in a bowl. Buy a couple of XXLarge Kongs and start putting his kibble in them, as well as water (block the little hole of the Kong with a piece of cheese, put the Kong upside down in a yogurt contrainer, add kibble then water). Freeze. Feed those, always in his crate. Will keep him busy, and chewing to extract the kibble. if he doesn't eat them the first couple of times, after an hour take them away and try again at next meal time. He will figure it out, he won't starve

You can also use some of his meals for training; playing nose games (you hide the kibble and he finds it through the house and/or yard)... reward all good behavior with parts of his meals instead of giving it for free. (or else put it in Kongs or food-dispensing toys). When he settles down on his own (HIS choice, not when you have told him to), shower him with kibble (one at a time). Reward him for making the appropriate choice. (of course he must be properly exercised in order to gbe able to make the right choice

May I suggest a book, The Culture Clash by Jean Donaldson, highly enjoyeable and will help you understand the nature of dogs, how they learn, why they chew, etc.

take him biking or rollerblading, maybe 30 minutes a day? teach him to find a piece of food or a toy hidden in the house or yard? That gets him tired. here are a few links:

making the crate a positive place (the author of these vids is good, look at er other vids):

Kikopup on dog training in general (lots of How-to videos to click on right of screen). She gives ideas for maing trainng fun, playing training games, etc. and has basci vids on clicker training:

zac George (he is excellent and will alos give you ideas on making training fun):

have fun

do you have a fence? if not tell your fiance to walk your dog. my 4 year old dane will step on dogs and push them away to get attention. its annoying

Zeus is a 1.5 year old brindle boxer. We (my fiancé and I) have had him since he was a puppy. I HATE HIM.

I think the clue is in the OP's name... CatLover8269

you need to see a trainer --- either at their place, or preferabbly yours. Your dog is suffering from anxieties and insecurities --- if exercise isn't an issue, it's the dog knowing its boundaries as well as who is the alpha in the house. Dogs are like kids---- they need structure and discipline (and I don't mean hitting and yelling) in order to feel secure.

I have a 2 year old boxer named Isabelle. She does a lot of the same things that Zeus does. Although she isn't crate trained like he is, to be honest. I have her doggy-door trained Anyway, Izzy used to tear EVERYTHING UP. She had PLENTY of toys, yet she continued to destroy everything. I talked to a couple of people about it, and one person said this: "Just treat her like you would a 2 year old human. Everything she could possibly get into is going to go in her mouth. It could be harmless things (like tupperware) or it could be dangerous things (like a wineglass. Yes. My dog chomped on a wine glass). Just close off your room from her and let her have the kitchen and living room to herself. 'Puppy-proof' everything." So now everything is constantly put away so that Izzy won't get to it. I'll admit, that at first, it was tiring and whenever I got the slightest hint to give up, her tearing up something would set me straight. Now she's a good dog who barely gets into trouble. If she does get into trouble, now I know that it's only my fault for not protecting her from whatever it was that she got into. I treat Isabelle as if she were my child. I talk to her like I would a child. And our bond is so great and so nice that everything is going rather smoothly. It's like everyone else is saying: boxers are highly intelligent dogs. And dogs always know how your feeling. Maybe Zeus is acting out because he's in tune with how you feel about him. He might be upset that you feel that way, making him act out in ways that you don't like (guarantee you that he doesn't know that what he's doing is wrong). You have to train him, but at the same time, train yourself. You need to not show your "hatred" for this dog. He'll know. Here's a cool little list I found when I first got Isabelle, and it really has helped me understand her a little more.

1. My life is likely to last 10-15 years. Any separation from you is likely to be painful.

2. Give me time to understand what you want of me.

3. Place your trust in me. It is crucial for my well-being.

4. Don't be angry with me for long and don't lock me up as punishment. You have your work, your friends, your entertainment, but I have only you.

5. Talk to me. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when speaking to me.

6. Be aware that however you treat me, I will never forget it.

7. Before you hit me, before you strike me, remember that I could hurt you, and yet, I choose not to bite you.

8. Before you scold me for being lazy or uncooperative, ask yourself if something might be bothering me. Perhaps I'm not getting the right food, I have been in the sun too long, or my heart might be getting old or weak.

9. Please take care of me when I grow old. You too, will grow old.

10. On the ultimate difficult journey, go with me please. Never say you can't bear to watch. Don't make me face this alone. Everything is easier for me if you are there, because I love you so.

I hope that I've helped in some way. I completely understand what you're going through and I understand that it's frustrating, but just remember that Zeus has feelings too.

Hopefully this post comes accross more helpful than critical.

This dog is screaming out for help. He obviously has some degree of separation anxiety, had a lack of socialisation and very probably is not receiving enough mental and physical stimulation in his life. Zeus is a living animal. Dogs do not come with pre-programmed "acceptable" behaviour patterns.

Dogs need to experience the world when they are young and be given the chance to develop. The fact that you have had the dog since a puppy tells me that you and your boyfriend, whilst have good intentioned, are not suitable to own a dog with your current knowledge and current routine.

Now, that may sound harsh, but that does mean I want you to give the dog up. You are asking for help and want to enjoy your dog, which is all you need to successfully make your lives happier.

First step: enrol in a positive rewards based training class/receive a visit from a credited behaviourist or trainer (preferably both the class and behaviourist). Going to a training class will offer a routine and give you the skills to work on behavioural issues in the home. A behaviourist will also give you a schedule and training programme to work on.

Second step: Don't feed him food bowls; feed him food-chew toys, such as Kongs. Fill them with some dry and/or wet food, plus yummy bits of cheese and glaze with peanut butter. Freeze over night and feed him a few throughout the day. Teaching him to chew on these will be more rewarding to him than chewing on your possessions. Dogs need to chew, they have to be allowed to. So we need to teach them what are the best things to chew on. Do not punish your dog for chewing on wrong items...mistakes are not his fault. Just redirect his attention onto the chew toys.

Third step: Crate train Zeus. Buy a suitable crate, feed him his chew toys in there, give him his favourite toys in there etc., make it a great place for him. Leave him there whilst he's feeding and slowly shut the door. Leave him for a few mins at a time, slowly increasing the time left on his own with his toys, and reward him when you return and he's calm. Slowly, he'll enjoy the crate so much that you can leave and he'll be happy and not distressed.

Fourth step: Give him enough mental and physical exercise throughout the day. 2 plus 40 minute walks per day, as well as short 10 min training sessions throughout the day. Teach him useful things like "Touch", "Heel", "Watch" etc.

When he takes the food from his food bowl, it sounds like he's had a bad experience eating in his food bowl before, or when eating in front of you and your boyfriend. Thus, he feels much safer NOT in your presence. Feeding him in food toys will change his routine and he'll learn to enjoy your presence.

Use food in training, feeding from your hand. Simply, get rid of food bowls completely

Get him used to new people by inviting people over and asking them to keep their distance, whilst you praise and treat any calm behaviour from Zeus. Then ask the person to call Zeus over and offer some food. Do not over-excite Zeus, just be calm and relaxed throughout.

To summarise: your dog is under socialised and under-trained. He is nervous of new people, hasn't been taught commands correctly, and hasn't been prepared for the challenges of the human world. Most worryingly, you and your boyfriend seem to blaming him for this. Do not give your dog up; dogs are a commitment and you can't mess his life up by giving him away. With that said, by joining a training class, receiving help from a respectable behaviourist, crate training and building a positive association with strangers, you can improve many of the issues.

Good luck and do not hesitate to PM me for more information, I want to help