pent Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Recently discovered that my girlfriend of 7 months uses a dildo that is 8" long, while I am only 6" long. It is, at least, a slightly smaller girth than I am. She isn't able to orgasm with only 6" because it doesn't hit her CDS in the back of the vagina. In certain positions I can occasionally hit that spot once or twice...but its hard. She screams with pleasure every time I manage to hit it (rarely). She has also never had a "clitoral" orgasm...which could be looked at as a plus...but it seems to evade me as well and I know what I'm doing in the bedroom. I know I can make it happen eventually, but who knows when. So, basically, I have never given my girlfriend an orgasm and she has to rely on a larger toy to take care of the job, not to mention she is a very sexual person and past partners have given her orgasms... kind of depressing. I'm not one to give up though. I would never expect her to stop using the toy...it would be selfish of me to deny her pleasure. I would like to be able to use the toy on her myself, but I just don't know if I could handle seeing her scream and climax from something bigger than myself. What can a guy do... Link to comment
Vince99 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 1. either get over it, since clearly she doesn't mind or else she would have dumped you and just stuck with using it, or 2. break up with her Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Thats a hard one but i'm sure alot of girls out there use a sex toy bigger then there partner. You can talk to her and ask if shes stil lgets a great feeling of having sex with you most likely she is. I dont get how can you get that one spot sometimes ?? If you hit it before a few times wont it be like that all the time when your fulyl hard Also dont get to hung up on the sex toys, i mean you cant get jealous over one that viberates, unless you can stick a double AA battery in your you know were. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 As far as I'm aware, the vast majority of sex toys ARE bigger than the average real life male. It's just a toy - not a replacement. Adds a bit of fun to the bedroom (if you let it). If it concerns you that much, then perhaps she should only use it when she's alone. When she's with you, then tell her "no toys". Will that help? Link to comment
rosephase Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 um... she comes by a dildo hitting her cervix? I don't know if that is possible. Your g spot isn't far from the vaginal opening and your clit is on the outside. As far as I know there is no reason having a long penis should make women come more then a short one... has she come with other men? Or is it only when she masturbates that she achieves orgasm? Link to comment
Wolf_22 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Everyone has particular values and it looks like you're coming up against your own. If it bothers you, establish some boundaries with her or leave the relationship. It's emotionally difficult, I suppose, but logically, it's very simple. Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 um... she comes by a dildo hitting her cervix? I don't know if that is possible. Your g spot isn't far from the vaginal opening and your clit is on the outside. As far as I know there is no reason having a long penis should make women come more then a short one... has she come with other men? Or is it only when she masturbates that she achieves orgasm? isn't it more about the tickness then length ? Link to comment
pent Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 1. either get over it, since clearly she doesn't mind or else she would have dumped you and just stuck with using it, or 2. break up with her Yea I know my options in reality, just don't want to face them lol. I wouldn't break up with her over that, hopefully she would think the same. Thats a hard one but i'm sure alot of girls out there use a sex toy bigger then there partner. You can talk to her and ask if shes stil lgets a great feeling of having sex with you most likely she is. I'm sure there are plenty of guys in my shoes out there. I know the sex is enjoyable for her, it just isn't amazing. I don't think I could date someone that felt nothing when I had sex with them. I dont get how can you get that one spot sometimes ?? If you hit it before a few times wont it be like that all the time when your fulyl hard Well, even when erect, you will have varying levels of Erection Quality. Perhaps some guys have constant rock hard erections when they get turned on, but others...like myself... do not. my erection can fluctuate almost an inch in length depending on the EQ level. Usually when I kegel blood into my penis, thereby expanding it to its full potential, she will gasp. Not only that, but the area that I am referring to is not always at the same depth...sometimes it is closer, other times it is farther. Depends on where she is in her menstrual cycle as well as how turned on she is. and then you have the proper positioning etc.. Also dont get to hung up on the sex toys, i mean you cant get jealous over one that viberates, unless you can stick a double AA battery in your you know were. well I guess that's just the thing with penis insecurity. No other mans penis vibrates (i hope) so I don't really worry if mine does. Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Don't they have hollow dildos that you can put your penis into to make it longer? That would be so cool, then you could pleasure her yourself and she would feel closer to you in her moments of blissfullness. Link to comment
Lecturer Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 um... she comes by a dildo hitting her cervix? I don't know if that is possible. Your g spot isn't far from the vaginal opening and your clit is on the outside. As far as I know there is no reason having a long penis should make women come more then a short one... has she come with other men? Or is it only when she masturbates that she achieves orgasm? He's speaking of CDS or Cull-De-Sac orgasm. Also known as A-Spot orgasm. Some women have clitoral orgasms.. others have g-spot orgasms.. and some have CDS/a-Spot (some have a mix). While some women might not orgasm from a-spot stimulation, they can go pretty 'wild' from it. Have you ever been stimulated very deeply, and gotten very wet? Stimulation of A-spot tends to produce large amounts of lubrication. It's not the cervix that is being hit, its actually above/below and past the cervix (the cervix protrudes slightly into the vagina). Link to comment
pacopaco Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 That piece of plastic isn't going to replace you.Be glad she isn't with a guy that's bigger than you. Have fun with her, and use it on her. You'll have a blast, believe me. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 He's speaking of CDS or Cull-De-Sac orgasm. Also known as A-Spot orgasm.. Wow, I've never even heard of that before! I've just been educated and learned something new. *thumbs up* Link to comment
pent Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 As far as I'm aware, the vast majority of sex toys ARE bigger than the average real life male. It's just a toy - not a replacement. Adds a bit of fun to the bedroom (if you let it). If it concerns you that much, then perhaps she should only use it when she's alone. When she's with you, then tell her "no toys". Will that help? Actually, there are a wide range of sizes. Many 5-6" in length, usually vibrators though. Most dildos *i think* are larger than average. She only uses it in private at the moment. um... she comes by a dildo hitting her cervix? I don't know if that is possible. Your g spot isn't far from the vaginal opening and your clit is on the outside. As far as I know there is no reason having a long penis should make women come more then a short one... has she come with other men? Or is it only when she masturbates that she achieves orgasm? It's not the cervix I am attempting to hit, it's actually called the posterior fornix. This goes past the cervix and leads to an intense orgasm if stimulated properly. The gspot is another area that can be stimulated, but hers is not very sensitive. Everyone has particular values and it looks like you're coming up against your own. If it bothers you, establish some boundaries with her or leave the relationship. It's emotionally difficult, I suppose, but logically, it's very simple. well it does bother me, but I won't let it eat away at me or anything. Link to comment
Lecturer Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Yes, to clarify (before OP does lol), CDS is posterior fornix (below cervix.. on the bum side)... A-Spot is actually above (anterior fornix). Link to comment
pent Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 Don't they have hollow dildos that you can put your penis into to make it longer? That would be so cool, then you could pleasure her yourself and she would feel closer to you in her moments of blissfullness. they do, and it would be fun to use...I won't deny that. But I think it would be too humiliating for me to actually go through with. Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 they do, and it would be fun to use...I won't deny that. But I think it would be too humiliating for me to actually go through with. Your problem is not your gf's special orgasms, your problem is accepting and appreciating your own anatomy. Girth is nothing to sneeze at and you can be grateful you have enough penis to hold a hollow dildo on at all. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Just out of curiosity, how did you "discover" that she uses this dildo? Did she tell you, did you ask or did you find it? Link to comment
pent Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 Your problem is not your gf's special orgasms, your problem is accepting and appreciating your own anatomy. Girth is nothing to sneeze at and you can be grateful you have enough penis to hold a hollow dildo on at all. I'm not actually ashamed of my size or anything. I'm not exactly proud either, though. I'm thankful for what I have, but what I have (in her case) isn't enough. Just out of curiosity, how did you "discover" that she uses this dildo? Did she tell you, did you ask or did you find it? in worked its way out in a conversation we were having. Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 I'm not actually ashamed of my size or anything. I'm not exactly proud either, though. I'm thankful for what I have, but what I have (in her case) isn't enough. Given enough near clitoral/vaginal stimulation she may be able to achieve the same orgasm without actually touching the spot. It takes much longer and you have to engage her brain by interacting with her in whatever way makes her feel the best. Communicate, practice, and learn both from each other and from outside sources. Books are nice because you can pass them back and forth. What you have IS enough and no detached solid piece of man-made material could ever be better than being with you as a total experience (from her point of view). Consider it a challenge, not a lost cause. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Is this particular type of orgasm (CDS), the ONLY way she can get off and the ONLY thing she enjoys about sex? If she can achieve g-spot orgasm, she should be fairly happy (imo). As for clitoral, why not focus on that for a while? Surely there's a lot more to sexual satisfaction than only CDS? (Sorry for all the questions, just trying to understand what her case is). Link to comment
pent Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 Given enough near clitoral/vaginal stimulation she may be able to achieve the same orgasm without actually touching the spot. It takes much longer and you have to engage her brain by interacting with her in whatever way makes her feel the best. Communicate, practice, and learn both from each other and from outside sources. Books are nice because you can pass them back and forth. I'm sure that I will be able to make her orgasm in some fashion eventually. But nothing will replace having an orgasm from penetration, unfortuantely. What you have IS enough and no detached solid piece of man-made material could ever be better than being with you as a total experience (from her point of view). Consider it a challenge, not a lost cause. those are very kind words, and in a way you are correct...but her total experience doesn't include an orgasm, and that is a big part of it. Is this particular type of orgasm (CDS), the ONLY way she can get off and the ONLY thing she enjoys about sex? If she can achieve g-spot orgasm, she should be fairly happy (imo). As for clitoral, why not focus on that for a while? Surely there's a lot more to sexual satisfaction than only CDS? (Sorry for all the questions, just trying to understand what her case is). I've not experimented with her enough to "really" know her body, but her gspot is not very sensitive at all so I believe that is a lost cause. I will probably give her a clitoral orgasm at some point in time, but it is not the same and in-fact feels much different than a CDS orgasm. Link to comment
Capricorn3 Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 I will probably give her a clitoral orgasm at some point in time, but it is not the same and in-fact feels much different than a CDS orgasm. Of course it will feel different, as they are two entirely different things and different areas - one internal, one external. It may be surprising, but many many women find clitoral orgasms to be the most intense of all. I can only suggest she explores her own body and learn how everything works so that she can "discover" what clitoral stimulation is all about and eventually achieve orgasm that way. I can assure you, she won't be disappointed, lol. Link to comment
pent Posted December 12, 2009 Author Share Posted December 12, 2009 Of course it will feel different, as they are two entirely different things and different areas - one internal, one external. It may be surprising, but many many women find clitoral orgasms to be the most intense of all. I can only suggest she explores her own body and learn how everything works so that she can "discover" what clitoral stimulation is all about and eventually achieve orgasm that way. I can assure you, she won't be disappointed, lol. Oh I am sure her clitoral orgasm will be intense, judging by how loud she screams and the amount of sweat that soaks my bed while I'm stimulating her. The problem is getting her over the peak, so to speak, into climaxing. But we'll get there eventually. Link to comment
GoneCrazy Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 Don't they have hollow dildos that you can put your penis into to make it longer? That would be so cool, then you could pleasure her yourself and she would feel closer to you in her moments of blissfullness. It wont take long for some serious damage Link to comment
waveseer Posted December 12, 2009 Share Posted December 12, 2009 It wont take long for some serious damage I don't know what you mean, to him or to her? Link to comment
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