He's 25 year old virgin and never had a girlfriend before

Okay so here goes (I'm new btw... Hi everyone!!!) I'm on the dating scene and recently found that I have this HUGE crush on one of my close friends friend, (we'll call him Todd). Todd and I get along great, we have plenty of things in common and we have such a great time together. He's just MASSIVLY shy - which is explained below...

Thing is, Todd is 25 almost 26 and never been with anyone. At All. Not even kissed a girl. Well, he hadn't till he met me anyway (hehe). We've been hanging out for awhile and we're now officially dating and it's been really awesome. For someone who doesn't have any actual relationship experience, he is amazing at taking care of me. He's doting, selfless, and spoils the crap out of me emotional and with little gifts and things. We've only gotten to the point of making out, and I'm being really patient and teaching him things and it's kind of fun in a way. He's really nervous about when we get to the point of getting it on and I'm just nervous for him.

None of this weirds meout in anyway. I think he is one of the most amazing people in my life and it's nice to finally have a boyfriend who enjoys my company and that I get along with. What I'm scared about is that because I am his first girlfriend he is going to latch onto me like a fish on a hook. He already tried to tell me he loved me (this was only after about 7 or 8 dates) and it was just kidn of hard. I want this to work so much I'm just trying to figure out what to do I guess.

Has anyone ever experienced this?

Thanks!

Of course he will latch on like that, and he's already started. You have to expect it with a 25 year old who's never even kissed a girl before. He's going to be completely lost when it comes to what he can or cannot do, and even what he should or should not do. Those are going to be very blurry lines for him since he has zero experience there. He's going to doubt his every move. It's inevitable.

If you really like him, be patient, at least until you feel like this is something you cannot do anymore. If you do get those feelings, don't feel guilty. There are two people to this relationship and you do have to watch out of your own interests as well.

Wow, you are going to rock his world! Be prepared for some insecurity on his part though.

He's already told you he loves you...hmmmmmm

To be fair, if he's already a close friend, it's possible he already had feelings for you before you ever started dating. Have you discussed this with him?

I would also say to just be patient I guess. Maybe you can help him by teaching him what he can/can't and should/shouldn't do.

I'm 21 and I had my first kiss and dating experience (sadly not girlfriend) earlier this year...my sister had to coach me through a lot of it in between, because I really didn't know what to do. I think it's great though that you're giving him a chance...you may very well have saved him.

Jeremy, haha! The way you worded that it almost sounds like you were kissing your sister!

I'd only advise to be careful that he doesn't become clingy/needy (which I already see the signs of: spoiling you, telling he you loves you). You need to draw boundaries for yourself and maybe help him set his own. A good way to break this idea without being mean is to discuss that you think it's very important he have his own life - his own hobbies and interests. You want to be a part of his life, not the center of it. You want him to be his own person, not define who he is around you and your relationship.

Jeremy, haha! The way you worded that it almost sounds like you were kissing your sister!

Haha, yeah I realized that after typing it, but of course I just meant I was getting advice from her (not on kissing, but other stuff).

Thank you everyone- you're great! He's over right now, we're playing with my new toy- its a Wii! haha It's way fun

He gets really nervous and embarrassed around me I notice - he does cute things but sometimes his stomach will growl or something else that EVERYONE does (like trip or drop his phone) and get all red and apologize or something

SO thats it for now... thanks...

He apologizes for his stomache growling?

yeah he's just super nervous- like he gets all beet red when he does normal everyday things

You've got your work cut out for you.

On the one hand there's the possibility that this could be a really solid relationship. Just because he hasn't dated anyone before doesn't mean he won't be good at being in one, a lot of that is instinctual (assuming he can lose his insecurities and just let his body do the talking). I would guess you may have to take the lead at first, and then gradually (once his confidence is built up a bit) he'll slide into the normal parameters for a relationship. Some people have larger issues and take longer, but I would think he's just one of many slightly anti-social guys who started late with guy-girl things.

Be patient and don't let him get any horribly annoying habbits just because they're cute at first. its very hard to change someone back from being clingy one they get into the habbit. Don't let him lose his connections to friends and such (and possibly help him build up the ones he has, double dates and such).

Good luck to you both.

How delightful thread, I always thought that girls find inexperience as something annoying and total turn-off, but it seems that its not always the case. Good luck for you two

Just like Todd, I am a 29 year old virgin and I never had a gf or kissed a girl yet..I wish a girl would take me..He is lucky to have a girl like you.

I was like that myself when I was 25. Yeah, I was probably a little clingy, but my ex was SUPER dependent.

If you set the boundries, he'll catch on.

Just like Todd, I am a 29 year old virgin and I never had a gf or kissed a girl yet..I wish a girl would take me..He is lucky to have a girl like you.

C'mon brah! That is not going to help you. The way you just said that was basically saying, "Yeah, I am a HUGE burden and have nothing to offer.... I wish I just got a girl willing to take on a charity case like me..."

Self Pity is the opposite of what attracts women. I know it probably was difficult when you were younger and it destroyed your self confidence. Mine was too. When I was in my late teens I thought I was hopeless. Finally I got so sick of my negative attitude that I got off of my butt and went out there and LEARNED the rules of dating and attraction. You can too. And you need to start soon.

"Yeah, I am a HUGE burden and have nothing to offer.... And you need to start soon.

I really do not have a lot to offer. Yes I am a caring, loving, sweet, outgoing, athletic guy but I do not have any chemistry and I don't make a lot of $$ and I drive and ugly eye sore car and I am still in school, which will not attract a girl. It is really hard for me to attract a girl, even thought I am a warm hearted and caring. Even from my experiment that I did a few weeks ago proved that my height and appearance is a total turn off for girls, even though the girls have the same exact interests as me but I lack of height and attraction.

Yes, I know I need to start soon but it is very hard, next year I am going to be 30 yrs old and right now I am slowly giving up hope. I no longer send emails to girls on link removed, I just lost interest and I know they will not respond back to me. I have no other ways of meeting girls. I don't have any friends and I don't go to bars or clubs.

Woahhh man quit the crap. Stop talking yourself out of everything you havd ever wanted. I am 5"6, but its all in the charm and the attitude, i swear to god. You have to allude a conifdence, gain an aura. Dating coach is right....

Just because you are not born with it, you can still learn it.

Get out there dude, serious man, your life is by passing you- Get a new white shirt, some black shoes and a pair of jeans and start hitting clubs, start talking to girls.

Hold yourself correctly, shoulder back, cheast puffed out. Be comfortable in yourself. I sometimes even go by myself to bars, i call it "the lost lamb technique".

Gain a gimmick, one of my friends has a rubix cube and the other has a book by niecze (however you spell it that philosopher guy). I have a slouch beanie hat.

Get your head up lad, you have a bundle to offer to alot of gorgeous, sweet ladies- there is someone for everyone.

I am a charming, caring and a nice person..I have tired many times before and nothing at all, maybe I have not tried hard enough but how hard to do I have to try? I have been trying since HS and still today nothing!! Being nice, caring and sweat is great but it is not always the case. In order for all of it to work, theres needs to be a little mix of everything to work.

hmm Iam almost 22 and already have givin up hope on believing a woman is going to come into my life I know it won't happen girls refuse to date me cause I don't have experience. I am just going to focus on living life to its fullist and working towards my goals and dreams. Iam fine with my dicission.

Your boyfriend is a very lucky guy.

hmm Iam almost 22 and already have givin up hope on believing a woman is going to come into my life I know it won't happen girls refuse to date me cause I don't have experience. I am just going to focus on living life to its fullist and working towards my goals and dreams. Iam fine with my dicission.

 

Your boyfriend is a very lucky guy.

When asking out, do you always tell how inexperienced you are???

Yeah, I don't have any dating experience at all. The downfall of it, not having the experience it will be very hard to date. I really would not know what to do on a date to keep the girl interested in me, I mean conversations but words will run out sometime soon, then silence..then what? This would be really tough.

When asking out, do you always tell how inexperienced you are???

 

Sometimes.

I like hearing stories like this! It reminds me that there is still hope yet, even if the first relationship is gonna be something new and unexperienced.

I have to admit I can relate to some of the traits you're describing. Not all of them, but some. First, I'm 20...not 25. And I have had a couple of girlfriends and some kisses. I've been in denial for a while and I think that has hurt my progress a LOT! It's going to take a lot more effort from you than you may be used to for him. I was in a relationship at the end of last year and I became kinda clingy too I admit...I told her I loved her and I didn't know if it were a good idea to bring that out yet. Some other things happened, point is...I think my inexperience starting showing and I began making her feel uncomfortable or something...and she went with somebody else.

He's lucky to have a person like you that knows what's going on and is willing to work with him and allow him time to adjust.