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Everything posted by Gath

  1. From just this perspective, it looks like you two are sexually incompatible. Not all women are like this. I think you should end the relationship, its not fulfilling for you sexually (and from the sounds of it probably not emotionally). For the other I think you should get professional counseling. I doubt anyone here is qualified to help with that topic, as its very serious.
  2. you're in the friend zone. it would be possible to change that, but thats where you should be as she's your friend's girl. stay away. stop spending so much alone time with her or you'll be tempted to try and pursue it. find someone else and put her out of your mind. and even if she dumps him, dating her will most likely end your friendship.
  3. Well, before you jump in, answer the following two questions: 1. Do I really know as much about this as I think I do? 2. Can I actually change their minds about it? If the answer is no to either one, keep your mouth closed. It's not worth it.
  4. I am not by nature a very talkative person. I can certainly hold up a conversation about topics that interest me, but those topics are rarely the ones women find worth talking about. My last significant other would somehow take offense and get angry when I had nothing to talk about, because she believed it meant I didn't want to talk to her, when really I just had nothing to say and was enjoying the company. I would imagine this fellow is in a similar situation. If he doesn't have anything to talk about, why don't you talk? Ask about his interests and listen. It is not fair to rely on other people to hold up the entirety of a conversation.
  5. i go just about nuts when it comes to my ears. I have no idea why, but hot breath, moist lips and warm tongue just seem to fire every nerve ending in my body from there. and don't get me started on back scratching. i would probably have scars all over it if it was up to me. I cannot get enough.
  6. How about one of those dolled up pictures you can get at a beauty salon? Frame it real nice, then he can put it on his desk. I know I'd like something like that (or just a favorite picture of you if he has one), especially in an ldr situation.
  7. text messages are non intrusive. they don't mess with your job or other commitments. you can get one while you're working or at the market. phone calls on the other hand, people find hard to ignore. myself, if i'm busy, i put the phone to voice mail. i've noticed a lot of people will instead stop what they're doing and answer the phone, often only to say "lemme call you back later." he probably just doesn't want to interrupt. or, maybe he hates talking on the phone. A lot of guys do.
  8. I take since he was in earshot when you told the lie originally, that he works for the same company. So if you tell him the truth now, you're making him apart of the lie, an accomplice. If you tell the company you lied, in all probablity they will fire you. Integrity has been a core value for every company I've worked for. Lieing to get hired would get you fired. I don't care what anyone else says in this regard. In my opinion the only honorable thing you can do at this point, is resign your position, say it isn't working out or whatever. Perhaps list not wanting a personal relationship to get compromised by work. Do not disclose your previous embellishment, just resign. Fix your resume, but list the other company as a reference. Then tell your boyfriend the real reason you quit. With a good employment reference, even for such a short period you should be able to find another job within the field, without having to lie. As for your boyfriend, I would expect him to have some difficulty trusting you again, but the coming clean now and leaving the position you got through illegitame things is a respectable decision, and he should be able to forgive you. Or he probably isn't the person you think he is. Continueing to lie will only dig yourself deeper.
  9. Firstly, I do not believe people who care about eachother should ever resort to name calling and insults. Words are worse than sticks and stones, because broken bones heal a lot faster than broken hearts. Words said in the heat of a moment can last a lifetime, and you can never take them back. You should tell him that him saying those things hurts and he should find a different way to express his feelings. Secondly, you *are* being unreliable. When I say I'm going to do something, and I don't do it, thats the definition of being unreliable. It makes it very difficult to trust someone. If you say you're going to do something, do it. Or don't promise to do it. If you're not sure it'll get done, qualify it before hand. If someone still brings you to task on it, then you can say that you were trying to get to it and it's still on your list. Otherwise own up to the fact that you didn't accomplish what you said you would. But people don't have a right to **** on you just because you made a mistake.
  10. karoke isn't about skills. . . it's a bout fun. and you could always try some liquid courage.
  11. There's a lot of different typs of Union jobs that would match what you're looking for. Electricians (the union I'm most familiar with) have various different career paths, and the IBEW offers its own training classes and support structures. The wages can be good (most areas are 20 for journeymen, some as high as 30, and overtime is the norm in a lot of construction jobs). Depending on the area the work might not always be steady and sometimes you'll have to travel. But if you're willing torelocate to a different region you can ussually find steady work. The key is to be hard working and adaptable. There's actually a lot of jobs out there for people who are dependable and willing to put some effort out. Most people these days think the only way to support yourself is to get a college degree, and are surprised to find how little a Liberal Arts degree actually means.
  12. I don't know. I've seen some horrific divorces, and it seems to me the act of marriage, ie: letting the government stick its fat foot in your relationship, is really a bad idea. Divorce is a very scary thing these days. Especially for men. The courts tend to be very unfriendy to guys, and are quite happy to both take away their children and take away their finances. You hear a lot about "dead beat dads", but how often do you see exposes about women who take their ex's children and move far far away? I think it would be wonderful to have the kind of relationship my grandparents, or even my parents have. Get married at 18, and stay that way till you die. But from what I've seen of friends and relatives, thats a terribly hard thing to find now.
  13. I'm pretty much uninterested in my gf's complaining about work and the vaguerys of her friend's social problems. they do indeed bore me terribly, and she's not one to take advice so there's nothing i can activly do. but listening to her makes *her* feel better, and since I care about her, spending an hour being a friendly and comforting ear now and then is the absolute least i can do. she's also learned that I really don't care about color combinations, house decorating, or television shows and restricts those to her friends. but when something is troubling her and there's nothing i can physically do to help, being the guy she pours out her heart to is not something i'd ever have a problem with. and if it makes her happy, a little mild tedium is a microscopic price to pay. and anyway, i like the sound of her voice.
  14. You're right on the money from my experience. The gal I've been with now for about a year acted just this way. Caused a bit of a rift as I got really tired of hearing her complain about things not worth complaining about. And she never accepted advice or suggestions, so why even complain? Guys and gals definetly don't think the same way.
  15. Down-In-A-Hole, I do consider myself happy with myself. Sure I have down days like anyone, but I've always believed that how I feel is a choice, and when I'm down I do my best to focus on the good things I've got going on. I don't know if I want to be more sensitive, or just learn to express the feelings I do feel, but I'd like to see my girlfriend happy, and if putting a little color in my heart can do that, I'm willing to try. I just don't know how to begin. And while I haven't had a great number of girlfriends, part of what I find so attractive about the ladyfolk is all those bubbly emotions they get. I've thought about that. There are other things we don't match up well with. But my life is even better when she's around and I'd like to see if I can make the relationship work. I dont think my family are like me, my mother certainly isn't. She constantly asks me to visit home, which is unfortunately expensive and very time consuming. My father is to some degree, but he's always been more passionate about his interests than I have in mine. As to the rest, I don't know if I would say I'm passionate about those things, but they do give me a great deal of satisfaction and enjoyment. And I'll hoot and holler when my team is winning, although perhaps not to the same degree as others. Most of my interests I follow for the personal challenge they offer. I apreciate everyone's responses so far. I think its been helpful just talking about it. I've been trying to think my way through this issue for a long time without much luck.
  16. Thanks, I too try to look at things from that perspective. I don't activly try to be cold, but I've always felt if you let things bother you, it only makes the situation worse. Best way to get out of a hole is think about how you got there, rather than bash on the wall. But at the same time, my attitude seems to make other things difficult, and having a good personal relationship is important to me. I'd like to find a balance between the two, but I can't seem to find a way to get there from here. I'm still pretty young, and I'd really like to change myself before its too late. It could be said I have a problem trusting people. I dont like to place myself in a situation where I'm reliant on someone else's actions. Its served me well in my career, I'm a take charge kind of guy who gets things done. My bosses have all apreciated it, and relied upon me. When I'm not at work I do try to relax, but my girlfriend is pretty indecisive and if I dont plan something out, we often don't end up actually doing anything. I'd really like it if she got a little more involved, but the only time I brought it up she took it wrong and apolgized for being boring. Something I don't think of her being at all.
  17. Well, thinking about her constantly when she's 600 miles away wouldn't make my situation any better. And I do tend to spend my whole day busy. I work a lot, and try to have enough fun to keep my life interesting. But it does still concern me that I don't seem to miss her as much as other people I know miss their significant others. I end up wondering if there's something wrong with me, a piece missing from my jigsaw puzzle. Or maybe I am just a shallow mudpuddle.
  18. its a logical thought, but I have no idea how to let myself get any closer. When I've tried to talk to her about my own hobbies, things I'm interested in, she seems to quickly lose interest, often changing the subject. So I quit talking about those things, and mostly we end up talking about her. I work a lot, but while I find my job interesting, she's made it quite obvious she doesn't. So I'm at a loss as to what more I could open up about. I guess I'm an introspective (I believe that means inward thinking) person, but I try hard to be outgoing and social. Lately, especially with the LDR situation, I've been trying to find some more hobbies to expand myself beyond someone who goes to work, goes to the bar, watches sports, excersises, and plays video games. I don't know if this will help me to have more depth, but its all I've been able to think of. I would definetly apreciate advice in this area.
  19. Emotions seem a bit mysterious to me. I think of myself as a happy person, I'm definetly content, things are good for me. But my gf complains sometimes that I dont seem to have any feelings. A previous relationship preffered to say that I had an iron heart, although she meant it (or so I thought at the time) as a compliment, since it always came up because of the way I handled difficult situations. My job required me to move 2000 miles from every friend I ever had, and all the family I'd ever known. It didn't bother me at all, I talk to them and visit when I can, but I often wonder if I should miss them, or at least feel something. I get along fine with just about anyone I meet, and get invited out plenty. People laugh at my jokes, tell me I have a good sense of humor. They wave at me when I walk by at work. That part of my life seems as normal as anyone elses. The problem is I dont seem to have much luck with personal relationships. I seem to have a hard time getting close to people. My current GF says I'm wound too tight, but I don't think thats really it. Friends at work say I'm a different person when I'm drunk, which I suppose is partly true, but even then I just start grinning like an idiot and making even sillier jokes than usual. My current relationship is definetly on the rocks, it started with me having to move again (six month temporary relocation, I fly back to visit about once a month or so). I don't really think about her much anymore, although I try to call her often. When I visit, things seem allright, I still enjoy being with her. She seems to think something is wrong though, and apoligizes for what she perceives as her faults a lot. I try to lift her up, but its not something I'm having much luck with. I don't really have any idea what to do. I'd rather not have another broken relationship, but I don't know how to fix whats wrong. Or even if I should. I don't really know if I always felt this way, but I don't remember a time where I felt differently. I don't like the idea that I'm a shallow person, its not the way I think of myself. I've always sought to be strong, resolute, and dependable. I try to do the right thing and uplift the people around me. What can I do to expand myself?
  20. He's found someone. He couldn't/wouldn't/didn't wait for a time when you two could be together, and moved on with his life. He probably still has strong feelings for you, but is wise enough to know that thats a road that will only hurt everyone involved. Better to end a friendship, than lose the one you love.
  21. I do find it odd that most everyone here wants to blame Cranston. Certainly we only have one side of the story, but its not like its an unfamiliar story. Cut the guy some slack, sounds like he tried everything, but his wife just doesn't want to have sex. Some people don't. And its not unreasonable (to me anyway) that this would be a relationship deal breaker. It would be for me.
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