How to politely decline a wedding invitation?

I was invited to a co-worker's wedding, my boyfriend and I. I have known her for a little over a year but I only see her like once a week at work because of our differing schedules and plus I have another job. I know her mainly from the length of time, not the person who I always talk to or anything. But I never ever have talked to her outside of work.

The problem is that I'm leaving that job and am going to be working someplace else and won't even see her again after tomorrow. It would be so much easier to tell her tomorrow I won't be making it to her wedding. I just don't feel comfortable, I don't really know her and I certainly do not know anyone else who will be there-- just generally not something I'm interested in and I'm not sure why I was invited-- out of politeness I think, which is fine. I would probably think about it if I wasn't and I do feel bad to decline, but I know it's not a bad decision or anything.

But in such short notice of receiving the invitation (today) I don't know what to say to her. I mean how do you turn down a wedding invitation? It's not like turning down a get-together, it's a special day, but I just don't know her and am not really interested in going.

Thanks for any advice on what to say tomorrow,

Martha

Just tell her that you are sorry you cannot attend as you already have plans for that day.

You don't have to tell her your plans are painting your toenails or bathing the dog.

I refused an invitation just this last week - this is the reply:

Hi, Jenn,

We thank you and Tim very much for the invitation but regret we will be unable to attend. We would like to wish you all the best for a very successful wedding and even more happy marriage.

I wouldn't worry about it. I am getting married shortly and people have declined to come to our wedding...and we're not upset about it! Less people equals less money to spend

All joking aside, just say you aren't able to attend. They don't need further explanation.

i would just cut all contact from her... you probably won't see her again and if you do, oh well. a few seconds of being uncomfortable isnt worth 3 hours of bordem.

i would just cut all contact from her... you probably won't see her again and if you do, oh well. a few seconds of being uncomfortable isnt worth 3 hours of bordem.

Okay, now THAT would be unnecessarily rude.

To the OP: just tell her you're sorry but you can't make it. If you don't want to do it in person, just e-mail her in a few days and say so (which shouldn't be awkward since you're leaving anyway).

I agree, it's weird that she even invited you. It probably was out of politeness, but that's rather odd since it's not like a kid's birthday party or something.

Anyway, like someone above said, not everyone is going to be able to attend the wedding. In fact, she was probably counting on you declining, but decided to invite you just so she wouldn't appear rude. Odds are, yours isn't the only decline she'll receive, so don't feel bad about it, at all.

Agreed with everyone else.

You can just send the RSVP card with a "regrets" check if you'd rather not tell her in person.

There's nothing wrong with declining.

As Beyondthesea said (my fiance and I are planning our wedding now too!) less guests = less expense!

an invitation is meant to get a response so they can figure out how many people are coming. you can't make it you can't make it.

Well, I think they expect some people not to be able to make it.

Just return the invite with a "Regrets, I cannot attend" and a thanks for the invite anyway.

You can always send a card/gift around the wedding date as well if you choose.

I remember waiting for people to return the RSVP cards for my wedding. Honestly, I just wanted to know if they were coming or not! I couldn't give the final guest list and it seemed there were one or two people avoiding me because they weren't able to make it. I truly just appriciated a timly response.

Exactly! It's way more important to give an answer than what the answer is.

She probably only invited you because she invited other people from the office, and didn't want to be rude. Don't worry. Just send back the rsvp with a no, and just say you have another event to go to if she does ask.