Ask For Advice
Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 36

Thread: 16 yr old girls sleeping together

  1. #1
    hardcharger
    Member hardcharger's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    245
    Gender
    Male

    16 yr old girls sleeping together

    I am in the unfortunate position of having my 20 yr marriage dissolve right before my eyes. Seems like I am helpless to stop it. One of the factors is I am "daring" to speak up concerning some of the behavior of my 16yr old daughter. She has a 15 yr old girl friend who very frequently sleeps over, and they sleep in the same double bed. Of course these kids have had lots of sleepovers over the years, but I think it is time to stop. We have a empty guest room with adjoining bathroom which her friend is free to use. I am not against girls/women sleeping together, like on a trip or something because of convenience, but what has been happening is this kid is VERY often spending weekends at my house, 2 nts, and that is just a followup from the summer, when she was staying 3 out of 4 nights. I actually don't think anything is going on, the girls are quite boy crazy, but it is time to stop and grow up. What do you think? My wife thinks I am being totally irrational and mean and now she makes up that I am accusing my daughter of being a lesbian, which is sicko. Thanks dear! You really know how to use your power as a mother.

  2. #2
    doyathink
    Platinum Member doyathink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    6,268
    Gender
    Female
    Are you serious? My daughter is 17 and she has her friends stay over all the time.....and they sleep in the same bed.

    My daughter has had the same bf going on two years. She is still a virgin...and NOT into girls in that kind of way.

    Why on earth would you have a problem with them sleeping in the same bed? They're kids....and girls just do that.

  3. #3
    Aschleigh
    Gold Member
    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Los Angeles
    Posts
    857
    Gender
    Female
    You would stake a marriage on wheather your daughter has a friend over or not?
    Are you sure you are not trying to get a divorce and using this as a reason.?
    The way you put it, you sound irrational.
    20 years is a long time to throw down the tube based on sleep overs. What if she is a lesbain? Or they are just giggly 16 year old girls?
    This is worth a marriage?

  4. #4
    jengh
    Platinum Member jengh's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2006
    Location
    San Francisco
    Age
    30
    Posts
    7,574
    Gender
    Female
    I don't know... I'm 20 and still sleep in the same bed as a girlfriend and I am completely straight (as are they). In my opinion, girls just don't think it's a big deal to sleep together. Sleeping is just sleeping.

  5. #5
    AwdreeHpburn
    Platinum Member AwdreeHpburn's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2006
    Location
    Tiffany's
    Age
    45
    Posts
    4,436
    Gender
    Female
    Hey Hardchanger - I personally think your over re-acting but I'd sort of like to know why?

    Why do you care?

    Why would it be wrong?

    What does having a sleep over or not have to do with being a grown up?

  6. #6
    elaineska
    Member elaineska's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2005
    Location
    Midwest USA
    Posts
    98
    Gender
    Female
    Um, completely normal. Sometimes I and two other girlfriends would sleep in the same bed. I think sleeping in the guest room is kind of silly. I've never been told to do that. Except at my boyfriend's house, maybe. That's a tad different.

  7. #7
    Clementine orange
    Platinum Member Clementine orange's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2006
    Location
    La Belle Province
    Posts
    3,590
    Gender
    Male
    I think you are probably overreacting too. You might be looking at this from a guy's persective - as in if you had a 15 year old son that was sleeping in the same bed as his male friend. Teen guys don't do that (unless there actually is something going on) but girls are less phobic and more affectionate with each other. Ever notice how teen girls hug each other and link arms etc sometimes? It's just different for them.
    That's my opinion anyway.
    I'd drop this issue and investigate the other issues that are causing problems in your marriage.

  8. #8
    hardcharger
    Member hardcharger's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    245
    Gender
    Male
    thanks for the answer ladies. it has more to do than with just the sleepovers. I have two daugthers that I would like to be raised in a certain way, my oldest is 100% class(18, my youngest 16, is going astray. Much of this started about 2 yrs ago when she picked up this new friend call her Ann. Ann parents are going through a divorce, she lives with her mother, mother apparently is never home, certainly she NEVER participates in driving her daugther and mine around(or very rarely) on weekends on in the summer. She has a respectable job but from different people i have heard she has an alcohol problem.

    I don't like Ann, she is not the worst, she is apparently smart. but i feel she is a bad influence on my daughter and offers her nothing, it is more than coincidence that my daughter has gone "downhill" mentally and socially since hanging with Ann. They are more and more inseparable and lately have been taking us to having them drive them 15 miles to another school district to "hang" with boys I know nothing about.

    New years day I woke up and they had been together almost totally since Friday evening, Ann was in her P.J.'s again in my house on Saturday 3pm, just waking up from being out till 3Am friday nt. which my wife gladly picked them up. "girls will be girls" and she is having fun my wife would say. My wife just feels sorry for daughter. I voiced my opinion monday am and holy hell broke loose. This girl has her own family, her own nest, i have mine that i built for my kids. We are extremely Generous in having kids over, but this is going way to far. This same little Ann was staying over 4-5nts per week this summer.

    >What does having a sleep over or not have to do with being a grown up?
    this is not a sleepover but "roomates", this is not a sorority house. now my wife is saying i am acussing my daugther of being a lesbian. oh by the way, last nt at 11:15(thurs school nt) some very creepy 18 yr old boy in a bandana was creeping down the steps, leaving my house, no one knew he was here.

    No i don't think girls sleeping together means anything on a sleepover. But when it is going on 2x/wk or more, enough is enough. And yes, my daugther is more of a woman than she knows, and things can happen. Why push it. Again, not against it, but the frequency is causing alarm bells to go off.

    overall, things are very bad around here, and this is just a small part of it. i guess it has to do with very different opinions of child raising and what childhood is all about and what the responsibility of a "parent" is. Personally, I don't think my responsiblity is to make sure every little whim of my daugther is satisfied, but more to prepare her for this world, which can be cruel.

    i turned out all right!

  9. #9
    doyathink
    Platinum Member doyathink's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Location
    Venus
    Posts
    6,268
    Gender
    Female
    Ah! A bandana? LOL

    I'm sorry HC, I still have to side with your wife..lol
    I guess you would consider me an awful parent then. I have helped raise half of my sons friends....because their parents didn't give a crap about them...but I did! They would spend entire summers with us. I helped buy their clothes...did their laundry...cooked their dinners....eh!

    I love kids...if they're in need then I'm available to help. Why be selfish when a child needs your attention and guidance? Maybe you should feel blessed that you actually have a chance to make a huge difference in this girls life!

    Maybe she was brought to you for a reason. You wont go broke feeding her...or giving her a stable place to stay. Take this time to make a positive influence in her life. There are children in this life who need an adult to take the time to say...I CARE! I care what happens to you.

    You do however have the right to tell these girls what the rules are and to enforce them. NO BOYS IN THE BEDROOM! Visiting hours are such and such...your curfew is .......

    My mother did this for a couple of our friends too....and now, I have one of my daughters friends that we have most of the time as well.

  10. #10
    hardcharger
    Member hardcharger's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    245
    Gender
    Male
    >Ah! A bandana? [-o< LOL
    that did come out so funny, kids don't know about my grateful dead bandana days and i'll keep it that way.

    >Why be selfish when a child needs your attention and guidance? Maybe you should feel blessed that you actually have a chance to make a huge difference in this girls life!

    exactly! that's the point. this girl is a little waif. she gets no attention or "guidance" from me, in fact she never talks to us, we know nothing about her, she runs right upstairs in our large house and stays in my kids bedroom, no hello, no goodbye, no this is what is going on these days. then i just hear her giggling and giggling like some fool. I love kids and I feel I could be a good teacher to kids cause i've lived a life with alot of experiences, but this kid brings nothing to our household.

    >There are children in this life who need an adult to take the time to say...I CARE! I care what happens to you.
    again, i have absolutely no idea what is happening in her life, nothing.

    >You do however have the right to tell these girls what the rules are and to enforce them.
    no, i don't, not in my household, i'm squat, just the breadwinner, has always been that way, better to keep my male mouth shut. or This will happen.

    >My mother did this for a couple of our friends too....
    i'm all for teaching and helping people and my life shows it. but my responsiblity is to raise my own kid, and worry about how they are turning out. I can barely affect my own kid, let alone some other kid i know nothing about. and besides, i am not affecting the stranger or influencing her whatsoever, that is the sad part.

    i'm going to keep trying and do what know is right and best for my kid.

  11.  

Page 1 of 4 1234 LastLast
Top Threads
Mom unsure about letting me travel overseas with friends? How to convince her?
So my friends and I started planning a trip to Germany next year (we're from the US). We're getting everything figured out and so far most of my
Aunt Passed Away - Need Advice Regarding my Uncle
Hi everyone, I have sort of a sensitive topic and would like your insight regarding it. My Aunt passed away 2 and a half weeks ago after having
Feeling blue around a family member
I think I may be part of a narcissist family dynamic. Reasons being due to my own feelings and experiences, and from the responses from other posters
I don't feel emotionally available to my mother. Is that bad?
My mother currently lives with me and my girlfriend because she's been unable to find work and no one else is able to support. It's not ideal

Featured Threads
What eNotAlone gave you?
I wonder mostly about long-time members who decided to be a part of this community. Has this forum enriched your lives, and if so, in what
How to end things with him
Iíve been dating this guy for 2 months. In the beginning he was very sweet and romantic, however I learned in the last month or so that he is
My ex bf told me he wants sex, nudes and me to loan him money until he's stable... Should I lend $?
Hello.. I am 22 I met my ex bf (21) 3 years ago in college. He dropped out of college after the first semester.. he didn't go to finals. He stayed in
How Should I have handled it?
My GF and I were together for about 5 months. Things were great except for some of my questioning her online activity which challenged her. All
My Ex Husband still berates me
Hello, first off I am not sure why I am on a forum but.. I need an anonymous outlet I guess because my friends and family all say the same thing
Yall ready for a messed up one...
Okay, so i cheated on my bf about 6 month ms into our relationship with a guy 20 years older then me at our work. And it was a rule that it was only
Iím at a really bad state of mind right now
Itís been a little over the month since the breakup, since then, heís messaged me 2-3 times about random topics (that I donít care about), and has
Ask For Advice

Tags for this Thread

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •