16 yr old girls sleeping together

[doyathink]

One thing you should be thankful for is that they are at your house. You know what is going on more if they choose to hang out there. I would much rather my kids hang out at home so I can keep a watchful eye on them.

 

You seem to resent the fact that you are the one running them everywhere. Why? So her mother doesnt...but I think you would also have a problem with that because as you stated...she drinks. Your daughter will be leaving home (probably) in two years. You only have two years left to enjoy being a close part of her life....and the privilege of running her around. Soon enough she will leave your nest and do it all for herself...and I can tell you.....thats when you long to be back here at this point wishing you could drive your little girl to her friends house.

 

The choices you make now will be remembered......and thought of in her adult life.

 

btw.... my daughter and I have jammie days when we cuddle on the couch in our pj's ...lol...it's not the end of the world.

[rocio]

From what you've written, it almost seems that "Anne" is a scapegoat. Your marriage is falling apart and you don't feel that you are respected in your own home. Meanwhile, your daughter is very close to Anne, and you resent that. You have very little respect and plenty of hostility toward her, but I have a feeling those are just feelings you are projecting on to her unfairly.

[prtygrl1973]

I totally see your point, you just have to watch how your daughter is with this girl. I see no harm in them sleeping in the same bed -- just watch the actions with each other though... they are prob. fine, i would imagine at that age and with you home, nothing would be happening .....

[prtygrl1973]

you do realize that the way a child grows up really isn't because of any "one friend" if you brought her up right, with the good morals etc... she will take those morals with her....

[hardcharger]

turns out my suspicions where correct. the girls were caught saturday nt, supposedly sleeping at my daugthers friends house, they instead were out all night(age 16 & 15), luckily for the first time in many months we spoke to other girls mother and they were caught. of course there is much more, likely marijuana use, diet pills, drinking, dating older boys. it is all bad. luckily my wife is now with me 100% that there needs to be some brakes applied to this behavior.

[rocio]

turns out my suspicions where correct.

 

I thought for a second that you were going to say she was a lesbian. Now that would have been fun.

[hardcharger]

well anyway, my mom agreed with me all along! LOL.

[Dara]

turns out my suspicions where correct. the girls were caught saturday nt, supposedly sleeping at my daugthers friends house, they instead were out all night(age 16 & 15), luckily for the first time in many months we spoke to other girls mother and they were caught. of course there is much more, likely marijuana use, diet pills, drinking, dating older boys. it is all bad. luckily my wife is now with me 100% that there needs to be some brakes applied to this behavior.

 

I don't understand

You were worried about her safety going out at night so you thought the way to put a stop to it would be to have her friend sleep in a different room. Not give her a curfew or anything.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

Well, sure the occasional deviant pops up. I went over to a friends house several times a couple of summers ago - her mother didnt know that either of us were bisexual.

 

Hehehe

 

Mostly, though, I don't think you have anything to worry about. And lets suppose in worst-case scenario they do sexually experiment with each other..well, thats not damaging or bizarre, and if it wasn't in your house it'd be somewhere else anyway.

[blue-eyedspacemonkey]

turns out my suspicions where correct. the girls were caught saturday nt, supposedly sleeping at my daugthers friends house, they instead were out all night(age 16 & 15), luckily for the first time in many months we spoke to other girls mother and they were caught. of course there is much more, likely marijuana use, diet pills, drinking, dating older boys. it is all bad. luckily my wife is now with me 100% that there needs to be some brakes applied to this behavior.

 

Ok, so, Ann may be a bad influence (as proved by them pulling a fast one) however, I think drug use/drinking etc is going a bit far maybe? Yes, she lied to you, and you're thinking slippery slope, but it may not be, you need to talk to her calmly about her actions. If you and your wife go off on one and completley ban her from seeing Ann etc it will only distance your daughter from you...hope you manage to find a balance and sort this problem out

[Ladydragonflagg]

I hate to bust in so late in the discussion, but I cant help it. Ive read through all of this and honestly cant help thinking of my own childhood. I was the same at 16, I stayed at a friends house probably 4 out of the 7 days of the week. We slept in the same bed. We stole booze from her parents stash, stayed out all night, and met older boys fron the internet...

 

I was a pretty rebelious little girl, I honestly think that my friend and I were bad influences on each other, it wasnt any one person who was doing the influencing. I was the younger of 2 sisters, the same age differance as your children, and i was sick and freeking tired of being compared to my older, better behaved, nicer sister. (I hope there are not "why arent you more like your sister" comments in your household.) It made me want to act out even more, kind of a "fine, ill one-up you on that" type of attitude toward my parents. When they tried to forbid me from seeing my friend we just ended up seeing each other anyway, and lying about it. You cant put a camera on her 24/7, they like each other enough, they will find a way.

 

To this day, I have a problem with my family. When i was in high school, my mom was convinced i was smoking pot, which is something I never did, when all the while my perfect sister and my brother were the ones doing drugs. I was the one having sex, when I didnt until i was older, but my perfect sister got pregnant at 15 (after this she was still concidered better than me).

 

Im not one to say that if you find out that she is actually doing these thing that you should not punish her. But dont do it for the wrong reasons, not just because you suspect, it will only make her resent you.

 

I barely talk to my dad, once every 3 to 4 months on average for about 5 minutes at a time. And no, im not in jail, im not a deadbeat, or a drug addict... im a very sucessful 26 year old with a great job and a great husband and a beautiful son. I learned from my own mistakes, because thats the way I wanted it.

 

I know you dont like what your daughter is doing, and a fair amount of discipline is in order in some instances.

 

I figured that maybe, just maybe the view from a girl who has been there would help...