I wish my girlfriend was jealous?

I know this sounds crazy, but I wish my girlfriend showed a little jealousy. I have been with her about 8 months. We love each other, but at times she just doesn't show her true emotions. Perhaps I am not used to it. I always dated women that were jealous (especially hispanic women which my girlfriend is) but my girl just doesn't show it. I have to believe she is somewhat jealous, but I am not sure. I don't go out of my way to make her jealous. I would never do that, but I do have a lot of female friends (though not close friends). I am in a band that attracts many women. But she never says anything. The thing I do notice she never likes to talk to me about the band. I know she is not crazy about it, but she doesn't say anything. I know there are women in our church that tell her what a lucky women she is (I hear this from them, not her). I told her a little about my past (I was basically a male * * * * *, but she doesn't know that), but she doesn't ask many questions. Is it because she doesn't care, or she doesn't want to get hurt? I have to admit my girlfriend plays it real cool. She even told me that when she first met me, she played it cool, and didn't want to show her emotions. She was taught by her Mom to play hard to get, but now that we are in love, I would think she would let her guard down a little, but she still doesn't show her true feelings.

I don't know. Its not a big deal. Its just I love this woman so much, and I know when you love someone you help to be a tad jealous. A little jealousy is normal, its when its gets obsessive its when It gets crazy.

The main thing is she says she loves me, and I have to believe her. She doesn't show it the way I am used to, but I have to take her word for it. A little jealousy on her part would probably make me feel like she does. I know, I'm nuts, but its the way I feel. Am I crazy for feeling this way?

i dont know why you would feel loved if your g/f was jealous..

shes probably comfortable with you and trust you.

Hey dude,

I know exactly what you mean! Jealousey can definitely make you feel more loved or show it more... I am a Christian and our God is a jealous God...but he is not jealous in the way of someone who has a faster car or bigger house...he has a jealous love!!! And it is entirely natural to have a certain amount of jealousy in love.

One thing i do know is people who have a lot of passion or passion for life can often be more jealous than those who arent or dont!! You say you play in a band which makes you an artist of somesort...so i take it you are a passionate sort of person?! And it doesnt have to be passion as in sop, but you can have passion about anything... Is she a similar sort of person?? Passionate?? Because if she isn't so bothered about things like any sort of art or passion then this may be why she doesnt get as jealous as youd like her to.

Thats not necesarily a standing fact but just an observation i have made myself through experience. Also...my own girlfriend more has become more jealous because of something in my history...i am sure if your g/f knew the real history she would be more jealous...but i think she is afraid to find out more about your past because she is afraid to get hurt!!! Jealousey in the form of love can hurt too so maybe she is better off not to be so jealous.

I think the best thing to do in any serious relationship is talk about it with her...

Hope that is some help.

-lovebites

I think she's playing it cool and not showing her true emotions. You already know that she does this, as she admitted to you that she does. I'm very much the same way. I can feel really jealous and the other person wouldn't have a clue. I think I do it as a defense mechanism.

maybe she just trusts you....

that's not a bad thing, you know....

Believe me, you do not want a jealous girlfriend.

They are utter pains in the rear end, and it is not conducive to a healthy relationship. Congratulations on finding a wonderful woman who is comfortable in herself and won't drive you away with horrible, cloying clinginess.

Thanks for you replies, but I didn't say I wanted my girlfriend to be a jealous maniac that questions everything and everybody I talk to. Nobody wants that. I just wouldn't mind just a small tad of it. Thats all. Its really not a big deal. I guess I am just not use to it. I know when I love someone I always feel a little jealous. Then again, I don't show it, so I guess she is probably doing the same thing. Its not a big deal. I guess I finally got a cool women who knows how to control her emotions.

well, maybe she might be a *tiny* bit jealous, but doesn't show it because she knows you love her.

I know you guys recently reconciled - do you feel a bit insecure that maybe you like her more than she likes you?

well, maybe she might be a *tiny* bit jealous, but doesn't show it because she knows you love her.

 

I know you guys recently reconciled - do you feel a bit insecure that maybe you like her more than she likes you?

I am not going to lie. I do feel I like her more than she likes me. If that is the truth, then I just have to deal with it, and hope her feelings will grow for me. It strange, because there are so many positive signs that she loves me, but for some reason I am focusing on what she ins't doing. I guess it has to do with her breaking up with me in January (only after 2 months of dating). I have that fear that she will do it again. When we first starting dating she was so into me, then she flaked and broke up. I know I had a lot to do with it. I moved way to fast, and revealed my feelings too early. That scared her. But after the breakup, I went strict No Contact, and she e-mailed and then we met, and she told me she wanted to get back with me. She had to have some love for me to do that, especially knowing she is very shy and quiet, I know it wasn't easy for her to do that.

I know this has nothing to do with her. Its just my insecurities, and fears that I have to deal with. She says she loves me. Recently she wrote in my birthday card, I am blessing to her, and she loves me. We pray together every Monday, and prays for our future. I mean there are positive signs.

Another sign is how every girl in my church tells her how lucky she is. I know I am attractive, and desired by quite a few women (I hope that doesn't sound arrogant, but its true). Again, its just that I tend to focus on what she isn't doing or saying, and that is something I have to stop.

Annie's and AntiLove's words ring true for me. just because she is not outwardly jealous does not mean she is indifferent toward you. it does, however, mean that she's not a pain in your bum-bum (my mother's baby talk term for rump) and to me that signals "keeper!!"

whatEVER you do, and you haven't indicated that you would, do not start doing things to try to make her jealous. that could be a recipe for disaster.

I am not going to lie. I do feel I like her more than she likes me.

Hey! I feel the same way with my boyfriend. He never shows any detectable jealousy and never ever asked anything about my ex. I know all these are good signs. While I, on the other hand, get jealous quite easily when I feel he pays more attention to other girls than me.

I've been trying to deal with my own jealousy problem and I have secretly hoped that he would show some jealousy towards me too. I feel that I like him way more than he likes me. I guess I need to believe him when he says he loves me.

I think it depends on what you're used to too. My ex would shower me with gift, keep saying he loves me and get jealous (not that excessively) and I take that as a sign of affection. My current boyfriend is quite the opposite, so sometimes I just conclude that he doesn't like me as much.

I hope you're not crazy because that means I am too!

So sometimes I just tell myself that I gotta have a little more faith on my boyfriend because he hasn't done anything that suggests otherwise. Good luck!

To: drum4god, beeeeeeeeee veryyyyyyyyyy careful with your behavior!!!

I'd love to talk to your girlfriend and find out how she accomplished this. I get very jealous and I don't know how not to be.