Avalex25 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Ok...he's 22, I'm 25, 5'9" 125lbs, blond, green eyes & tan. I have an extremely high sex drive and love itanytime whenever, where ever. But he rarely ever wants to have sex and he said it's cause he's never in the mood & he just doesn't have a very high sex drive. I've tired bjs, hjs, sexy outfits etc... Still nothing I never had the guy I'm dating tell me no or that he's not in the mood damn near all the time. I mean I've tired everything but drug him what do I do? Link to comment
lukeb Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 If there is nothing wrong if having a low sex drive is normal for him I am not sure if there is anything you can do. The only options if you are planning on staying together monogamously is either for him to be there for you or for you to take care of yourself. Link to comment
bungalo Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 You may as an experiment try to back off completely and see if he pursues you. Use your vibrator, whatever for a couple of weeks and see if he comes around. Link to comment
Avalex25 Posted August 1, 2011 Author Share Posted August 1, 2011 I've tired that and was without sex for a month. This sounds bad but one of my gfs say I should slip him a lil blue pill to help but I don't think I should have to resort to that. Link to comment
Deciduous Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Hi Avalex25, As a general rule people's sex drive level seem to be fairly constant, and a product of their genes. I wish I could tell you different. No matter how much they are physically attracted to some-one - unless there is a medical or physiological reason - it's rarely seems more changeable than the size of their feet. However it does usually shoot through the roof at the beginning of a relationship. I'm guessing that didn't quite happen here, which is a real indicator that he was telling the truth. Another reason could be if he was suffering from depression which temporarily lowers the sex drive or taking anti-depressants, but I'm guessing you would be aware of that scenario by now. Either way it seems that he has come to terms with his low sex drive and is fairly content with that aspect of himself and your relationship. It is who is and he is disinclined to change that aspect of himself. Even he could. I know it is utterly gutting when you fancy the pants off the guy. You could scream with frustration, I'll bet. But little more than suggesting a medical check-up which may indicate low levels of testorone, there is not a whole lot you can do. There is very little documentary evidence that a tiny nurses uniform can significantly change a man's sex drive for the better in any long lasting way. [However I am certainly looking forward to hearing from male ENAer's who can disprove me on that one] All in all, the ball is in your court. He has indicated that there likely to be a low level of sex in this relationship. I guess it is over to you. What is your response? Is this a deal breaker? There are no wrong or right answers here. Personally it would be for me, because it's big deal for me to feel physically desired in my relationships, quite apart from the act itself and emotional bonding which can occur. Aside from the usual explainable dips owing to illness, stress, overwork etc, any frequent knock backs would have my confidence taking a hefty beating. Fragile little bunny that I am, but I accept that this may not be the norm. Some people would grit their teeth and way it against the level emotional intimacy, loving support and care that they are receiving from their relationship. Over to you. Link to comment
Snowy Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 Sounds like a lost cause. I'm afraid if you're looking for sex, you're simply with the wrong person. Go find one of the millions of men who wants sex! Link to comment
Day_Walker Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 you cant do anything, his sex drive is his sex drive. You either have to accept it or move on. Link to comment
so confused 2 Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I agree, it usually does come down to acceptance....or moving on. You can't force anything I guess. Link to comment
metal angel Posted August 1, 2011 Share Posted August 1, 2011 I have the same problem, my boyfriend only ever seems to want the normal. Missonary, in bed, lights off, night time. Its so boring! I want to do it everywhere and vary it! Link to comment
annalisa84 Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 I love my boyfriedn very very much but I have the same problem with him. He even got himself some viagra and I was so excited Then he explained that viagra actually doesn't change your sex drive, it just makes it hard when you naturally want to have sex. Guess what.. he took the pill and.. we didnt have sex. He had some problems at worka and he kept talking about it and I was trying to listen and be supportive but all I was thinking was wow.. you just took viagar and you STILL dont want to have sex with me, what am i gonna do NOW???!!! Link to comment
Deciduous Posted August 2, 2011 Share Posted August 2, 2011 Ooohhh, Annalisa, LOL Guess what.. he took the pill and.. we didnt have sex. I bet you could have choked him!!!! Deciduousxxx Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I'm noticing a bit of a tone in your post, OP. Do you want to have sex with him because you want to connect with him and share pleasure, or are you looking for him to constantly crave you so you can feel sexually attractive? It sounds like more the latter to me by the way you're writing. Link to comment
Deciduous Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Hexaemeron - crave you so you can feel sexually attractive? Isn't that one of the delightful bonuses of having a boyfriend/girlfriend. As opposed to feeling sexually unattractive when they huddle to the far corner of the bed hoping you won't hassle them. Link to comment
hexaemeron Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 Isn't that one of the delightful bonuses of having a boyfriend/girlfriend. As opposed to feeling sexually unattractive when they huddle to the far corner of the bed hoping you won't hassle them. The distinction I was trying to make was that the main focus of her post was only seeking that validation. You're right. It's a -bonus-. But it shouldn't be more important than expressing yourself sexually with your partner and sharing love. That's all I meant. Link to comment
Rangafro Posted August 3, 2011 Share Posted August 3, 2011 I think it's pretty natural for someone to feel insecure in these situations, even though it's clearly not the only reasonable inference. I mean if the guy doesn't want to have sex it is valid to for her to ask herself "is it possible he doesn't want to connect with me and share that pleasure?". That said it's not really up to her to guess what the issue is if he doesn't see there is an issue or is not willing to talk about it. Link to comment
catwalk Posted August 4, 2011 Share Posted August 4, 2011 Wellbutrin (buproprion) prescription, Pycnogenol (pine bark extract), Maca (for hormones), and one of those 'mens libido' type things that promotes testosterone. Hope this helps, if he is willing to take these then you know he is serious about the situation. If he denies there is even a problem then that's a problem that can't be fixed with any pill... Link to comment
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