boltnrun

Using the kids as weapons is pretty lousy, BTW. I certainly hope you wouldn't actually do this.

Has he indicated he's tired of being treated like he needs to bow down to you and wants out? Or has he simply tried to assert himself or set boundaries? Do you take care of his needs?

Ask him where he feels he belongs.

Why do you need to have "power" over someone you claim to love? You either have deep seeded fears or you desire to harm your partner because you enjoy it (which isn't love, BTW). "Why" is key.

Wouldn't it be more honest and more efficient to just tell you his true age? It doesn't seem he trusted that you legitimately liked him if he feared you'd dump him because of his age. Or maybe he feared you'd dump him over his lying, which was more likely. But you didn't. I hope HE trusts YOU now.

She's doing it now. Seeing him and also keeping you on the hook.

I get your point. Dating doesn't mean committed relationship. It's OK to be friendly and say hello and have conversation and if she stops dating the other guy and wants to date you I presume she'll let you know. But definitely no asking her for a date until she makes it clear she's available to date.

I can see both sides. I went out to lunch with male coworkers multiple times and most of the time they insisted on paying. My husband would congratulate me on getting a free meal and ask what I'd ordered (and then teased me if I had a bowl of soup or a salad...he thought I should have gone with the steak sandwich!) No jealousy or feeling insecure or territorial or whatever. But I could also see that accepting money could seem inappropriate. None of my male coworkers gave me money. I agree that there seems to be a lot of tension regarding social media use in this relationship. You two might not be compatible.

No way. His humor is not funny. I wouldn't go.

Everyone you know was a stranger at some point. Then as you got to know them they became acquaintances or even friends. Have fun!

Sounds like you want your therapist to like you. No, not in "that way" but as a person. Which I kind of get, but it's also irrelevant. I really like the therapist I worked with most recently because we accomplished a lot in our sessions. But my previous therapist was good and I found it important that we share the same political views, but she wasn't nearly as effective as the most recent one.

No more vacations! Today was a crap show especially in the afternoon, when five different people were giving me instructions on how to do something. I told them they need to get together and give me ONE list of what they need and how they need it done. And that is why we have standard work which these five people chose not to follow (with my manager's OK, BTW). Ugh. No more vacations. Kidding. Sort of.

She will keep the both of you in her orbit if you allow it. If you're fine with being her back-up/guy on the side or her secret that's certainly a choice you're allowed to make.

He didn't just lie at the first meet. He chose to continue the deception even when asked. And when there was finally irrefutable evidence he made excuses and responded selfishly. Yes, he did choose to lie so he could date younger women. His motivations were self-serving. It wasn't a "mistake". I would wonder how he might choose to act if something else difficult came along such as losing a lot of money on a bet or smashing your car. I understand how much this must hurt. But again, this is not a reflection on you or your character. HE did this, not you.

Remember, his lying isn't your fault. It isn't a reflection on you. He CHOSE to deceive you. More than once. He had chances to come clean and he chose to continue to lie. And his excuses are BS. He wanted to date young women so he chose to lie? He could have described himself as "middle aged but youthful man seeks somewhat younger woman". Sure, that may have weeded out women who don't want to date middle aged men, but how did his lying work out for him? He hurt you, someone who didn't deserve to be hurt. I would not give him a third (or fourth, or whatever) chance. He knows lying is bad but selfishly did it anyway. That's a "nope" for me.