mylolita

*I feel like I have to defend the hubs and say, by the way, the next 16 years that has followed he has never had an accident in bed again 🤣 I often wonder about the psychology behind that and why! Maybe no rhyme or reason! Anyway, don’t mean to finger wag Dias - by the by, sounds like you had ONE WEEKEND! x

Dias! As a romantic, part of this is hard for me to hear! I can see, from her perspective, why she thought you were in love also. Even if you didn’t say it; this seems much more than an intense sexual fling! I understand where she is coming from. All is fair in the art of love and war! Strange things will happen. I never speak of this with anyone, but the first night me and D slept with each other, after weeks and weeks of intensely being together, I fell asleep on his chest and I have to say, I was so besotted and such a virgin that I wanted to indulge in all these intimidate things I’d dreamt of.. but after an hour on a hot night, it was so UNCOMFORTABLE! He has a very hairy chest 🥲🤣 and I just wanted off, but I didn’t, at the same time… I don’t know; maybe I wanted to savour that moment? Anyway, I managed to fall into this light sleep and I woke up to him in the dark trying to pull the bed sheets from underneath me. I didn’t know what to say so I pretended to still be asleep… HA! Turns out at 28 he had wet the bed for the first time since he was 3 years old. It was such a one off, strange psychological thing. We laugh about it now and then. He said he was so content but beyond nervous, he forgot himself? I don’t think either of us really slept that night, truth be told. Funny things happen when intense emotions are involved - these things are truly, the spice of life! Just be careful with women’s feelings. No way you want to see her again and make a try? x

I thought I was quite in the loop still but, apparently not! 🥲🥴😆 Bimbo movement?! I’ve been an original member of that since 1989!!! x

QUEEN OF THE HOUSE! ☕️🧹🧼! x

I’ll have to go find that one Batya! I’ve just finished ‘Dinner At The Homesick Restaurant’ by Anne Tyler and I was pretty blown away! I need to fire out some quotes from it. I don’t want to hand it back to the library! I think I’ll buy it and read again 🌝🤣 x

—- The boy with the thorn in his side Behind the hatred, there lies A murderous desire for love How can they look into my eyes And still they don't believe me? How can they hear me say those words Still they don't believe me? And if they don't believe me now Will they ever believe me? And if they don't believe me now Will they ever, they ever believe me? Oh, oh, oh, oh The boy with the thorn in his side Behind the hatred there lies A plundering desire for l-l-love How can they see the love in our eyes And still they don't believe us? And after all this time They don't want to believe us And if they don't believe us now Will they ever believe us? And when you want to live How do you start? Where do you go? Who do you need to know? Oh, oh, oh, oh ——- x

I can hardly get through this song without crying! One of my all time favourites and extremely personal to me. My long drive, late night, solitude song - thinking about you, and what it’s like to be there for sixteen years, through everything, and nothing, and all of it inbetween. —— Are we really sure? Can a love that lasted for so long, still endure? Do I, really care? Hey, hey Let’s talk about the distractions goin’ on elsewhere I keep hearin’ footsteps baby In the dark, oh in the dark Why? I keep hearin’ footsteps baby In the dark, oh in the dark My mind drifts now and then Lookin’ down dark corridors and wonders what might have been? Something’s up ahead Hey, should I keep this same direction or go back instead? I, I keep hearin’ footsteps baby, In the dark, oh in the dark Why, I keep hearin’ footsteps baby In the dark, oh in the dark Honey, now let’s stop walkin’ around When there’s love lost to be found And you know I still care, I still care Whar’s the sense in goin’, goin’ elsewhere? Who feels really sure? Can that feel in’ guarantee your happiness shall endure? And do we, really care? Hey, hey Let’s look at what’s been happen in’ and try to be more aware I, I keep hearin’ footsteps baby, In the dark, oh in the dark Why, I keep hearin’ footsteps baby In the dark, in the dark Yeah, let’s stop walkin’ around! Well when there’s love lost, lost to be found, Honey, you know I still care, I still care What’s the sense in goin’, goin’ elsewhere? Baby, you know I still care, I still care What’s the sense of goin’, goin’ elsewhere? —— x

I understand Dias and no problem at all! We’re all in the same boat. Everyone gets dips and troughs. You’ll be a-okay! x

Hey pineapple! All your groups sound fantastic! Personally for me, sometimes I know people find it a bit like a midnight hunting ground but; being out in cocktail bars and clubs on an evening is a pretty sure fire way to know the majority will be there to meet someone. You have to be careful it’s not a hook up though or a casual fling if you want something serious (I imagine you probably do!) When you’re in quite a big group of girls, it intimidates a guy because not only does he have to approach you, but all your friends as well. And when he talks to you, probably he imagines all your friends stopping and watching/listening to him speak to you. It takes nerve for a man to approach a whole group of girls. I would recommend if you go out to a bar or club to go only with one more girlfriend. When I was 18, I took up part time work in a bar subconsciously for that very purpose because I knew I hated going out myself, but enjoyed the atmosphere behind the scenes and I was rapid fire meeting men who were strangers all night long, 3 nights a week during my time in college. There are other interests you could delve into and I am sure out of all the things you do and groups there will probably be a single guy! Ever tried a speed dating event? I haven’t personally but if you don’t take it too seriously it could be social experience that brings you out of your shell and also a bit of an experience/giggle! Even if nothing comes of it? All the best! x

Batya! Apologies to fan girl you so much lately (🤣) but I have to agree! I think the standard dating questions reveal very little! People can plan for those if they want to side track, be deceptive, or come across more confident or savvy than they maybe are? Conversations on music, life, dreams, family, how they grew up, goals, hobbies - opinions on day to day things - these all give you much more of a niche, personal insight! Or, I have found, anyway! x

I agree smackie! But I will add - if you are comfortable in your own skin, who you are, and very confident, you will attract people regardless; whether that means you’re intense and quiet, rambunctious and playful, clumsy and endearing, gracious and demure, etc. people will be drawn to you because I find people are drawn to confidence in all it’s varieties and different forms! But of course, a smile and warm nature will always go down well generally, for sure! x

I love this book and quote talk! I’m reading a fantastic novel at the moment and I want to add some passages I dog eared at the pages along the way! ENA Bookclub, anyone? 🥳🫣🤣 x

This is also testimony to how different people will view you differently - sometimes! You can’t please everyone - just please yourself! 🍹 x

I apologise to the OP! This topic of age is so interesting to me, and concerns me too - as my husband is 9 years older than me (he’s 43, I’m 34). It never really crossed my mind much - I loved him instantly so. I would have been with him if he had a terminal illness the night I met him! He may make it to 90, I might go next year - we’ll never know, and thank goodness, who would want too? If it’s love, it’s love - you can’t deny. You just simply have to go with it, or else the bodily death you may have to contend with in the partner who is the love of your life will be nothing compared to the slow death of the heart and soul you may experience in love briefly found - but lost! x

OP, I agree with some of the suggestions above! Maybe step back and take a logical look at how you spend your week, and how likely within that week there are to be lots of single men where you are? And also, will they be in a “dating approachable” environment? Like say, on a night out, in a bar, at a meet up group, in a salsa class etc. are you ever placing yourself in situations that are overtly for singles and meeting up? Being friendly and warm and inviting will help, it’s true - but in my experience it isn’t impossible that a guy will boldly approach with no real signal of interest. It does and can happen. That’s how I met my husband! I was working as a cocktail waitress and he just came up to me - I gave him no signal, I didn’t even know he was approaching, there were so many people at the bar! Anyway, it’s not going to harm to maybe look at how you may appear from the outside to others? Maybe ask friends? Probe them honestly! Do I come across as unfriendly or aloof? Unapproachable? It may also give you some insight there that might be helpful! I’m a big believer in being yourself, embracing your personality and kooks and twists for what they are - you are only young, still just 24. It isn’t insane that you have no romantic experience. I think actually, quite a lot of men would like that! Maybe if you haven’t, put yourself in those overly “single and looking” situations in real life. Group meet ups, classes, speed dating - out to bars with friends, etc. make sure to keep your eyes and head up like @Batya33 recommended! It’s important! I actually think most likely a lot of men have noticed you in that way but you haven’t noticed back! It might have been quite subtle. You’ll get there - be yourself, put yourself out there, take a few pointers from friends who will give you honest feedback and just remember sometimes, meeting the right guy takes a bit of time - that’s not necessarily a bad thing! x