The Long-Lasting Impact of First Love on Your Psychology

Love remains one of life’s greatest mysteries and with the transformative power of relationships it is important to consider the lasting effects of a first love. Understanding how your first experience of love has shaped your psychology over time can help you make better decisions in your current and future relationships. Though your first love may be unforgettable, only through thoughtful reflection can you understand its impact on various aspects of your life and relationships.

First loves have the power to stay with us long after they’re gone. Whether the relationship ended badly or ended without any resolution, almost everyone still remembers their first love. Psychologists believe that the memory of a first love can impact the decisions we make later in life, relating to romantic partners, friendships, and even career decisions. People usually form their first impressions of love from their first relationship, so the quality of that experience can shape future relationships and expectations.

When it comes to relationships, first love can set standards for how our partners should treat us. We tend to compare all of our relationships to our first heartbreak – subconsciously or consciously – and carry the expectations from our first love with us in our future relationships. If a person had a positive first love experience, they are more likely to stay in a current relationship longer in the hope that it gets better, whereas someone with a negative first love experience may find it more difficult to trust another partner.

In terms of career and money, first love can also have an affect on our future decisions. Experiences of first love and relationships can be a major source of empowerment or can serve as a source of insecurity in managing finances and making career moves. Those with a positive first love experience may feel more secure in taking risks in their job or business environment. Conversely, a traumatic or trying first experience may leave some feeling they cannot confidence taking calculated risks and could limit opportunities along their career paths.

Moving beyond relationships and careers, the effects of first love can also have a long-lasting effect on our mental health and wellbeing too. Having a supportive partner in a first love can encourage personal growth and build confidence and self-esteem. On the other hand, if the first relationship wasn’t nurturing, the lack of support can cause damage to our sense of self worth and follow us into future relationships.

Children who experienced a positive first love often carry the same view of love into adulthood. They learn the importance of respecting and esteeming their partner and grow to emulate their parents' positive behaviors. Those children with less positive first loves often struggle with building positive relationships and developing healthy coping mechanisms.

Though first love experiences vary, the most important thing to remember is to explore the lasting effects of that relationship on yourself – and always take your feelings and thoughts seriously. Keeping an open dialogue with close friends and family can help offers valuable insight and understanding on what you need going forward in order to live a full and productive life. Behaviors and belief systems can be rewritten throughout our lives, so don’t be discouraged by a less than ideal first love. If you’ve found yourself asking “What impact did my first love have on me” then you’re showing your willingness to take control of your life and find the peace and acceptance you may have lost along the way.