He is broke.......

[rainbowsandroses]

12 hours ago, ShySoul said:

In this case, I think if the guy had offered her something from Cracker Barrel or started to make plans to see her, it would have calmed her concerns down.

^^Absolutely!  But why didn't he?  Is he cheap/lazy/poor OR was he simply not interested? 

I vote for the latter.  They chatted on line for a month. Met in person which as most of us know can change everything significantly!  

Which is what happened here, imo.

That's why it's so important to meet in person asap.  Everything prior to that?  Take with grain of salt. It's not real! 

Before they met in person, OP became so caught up in the fantasy, he may have as well!

He meets her in person, and reality hits.  He's not interested and needs an out.  OR he didn't want to lead her on by making plans, putting forth effort, spending money.

Again, to me his "poor boy" act seemed so contrived and over the top.  Overkill.  I mean what man checks his bank account while out having dinner with a woman for the first time?  And then announces his funds are tight?

I would have politely excused myself and left if a man ever did that. 

This man simply lost interest after meeting in real and his words/actions reflected that. 

With another woman he was into?  He may be the most generous guy in the world.  Eager to make plans, effort etc.

 

 

 

 

 

[mamabear82]

He was very happy with our time together and kept saying how much he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. He continued to compliment me and say how much he enjoyed being around me. That never stopped even after meeting. 

[mamabear82]

1 hour ago, rainbowsandroses said:

^^Absolutely!  But why didn't he?  Is he cheap/lazy/poor OR was he simply not interested? 

I vote for the latter.  They chatted on line for a month. Met in person which as most of us know can change everything significantly!  

Which is what happened here, imo.

That's why it's so important to meet in person asap.  Everything prior to that?  Take with grain of salt. It's not real! 

Before they met in person, OP became so caught up in the fantasy, he may have as well!

He meets her in person, and reality hits.  He's not interested and needs an out.  OR he didn't want to lead her on by making plans, putting forth effort, spending money.

Again, to me his "poor boy" act seemed so contrived and over the top.  Overkill.  I mean what man checks his bank account while out having dinner with a woman for the first time?  And then announces his funds are tight?

I would have politely excused myself and left if a man ever did that. 

This man simply lost interest after meeting in real and his words/actions reflected that. 

With another woman he was into?  He may be the most generous guy in the world.  Eager to make plans, effort etc.

 

 

He was very happy with our time together and kept saying how much he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. He continued to compliment me and say how much he enjoyed being around me. That never stopped even after meeting. 

 

 

 

[Batya33]

4 minutes ago, mamabear82 said:

He was very happy with our time together and kept saying how much he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. He continued to compliment me and say how much he enjoyed being around me. That never stopped even after meeting. 

Those are nice words.  Watch the feet- the actions -not the lips.

[mamabear82]

8 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

Those are nice words.  Watch the feet- the actions -not the lips.

Agreed

[rainbowsandroses]

11 minutes ago, mamabear82 said:

He continued to compliment me and say how much he enjoyed being around me. That never stopped even after meeting. 

But yet here you are wondering why you have not heard from him...

Agree with Bat 100%.  

[Wiseman2]

11 minutes ago, mamabear82 said:

He was very happy with our time together and kept saying how much he missed me and couldn't wait to see me again. He continued to compliment me and say how much he enjoyed being around me. That never stopped even after meeting. 

That's ok. However you took it upon yourself to go on this road trip adventure without really knowing much about him. It's not about pecans and gift shop items.

It's that he is long distance , complains about his ex and child support and is living life a bum off his parents. If you wanted a road trip, hotel stay and adventure, you found that, but there are so many red flags not to ignore. 

[mamabear82]

1 minute ago, rainbowsandroses said:

But yet here you are wondering why you have not heard from him...

Agree with Bat 100%.  

Actually i have come to terms with it thank you. I didn't make this post today fyi.

[ShySoul]

14 hours ago, rainbowsandroses said:

With another woman he was into?  He may be the most generous guy in the world.  Eager to make plans, effort etc.

In his own words he is a "content" man. I'm guessing this is where he is in his life and he's fine with it, so his actions would probably be the same regardless of who he is around. 

Always been my experience that people are who they are and rarely change. Their actions are pretty much the same regardless of other people involved. And the ones that will change or go out of their way, it's for someone they share a long history with. 

Really, it's all speculation that's irrelavant now.

Mamabear, as long as you are happy, that's all that matters. You wasn't right and there is a better guy out there for you.

[LootieTootie]

13 hours ago, mamabear82 said:

Actually i have come to terms with it thank you.

Good. This is not the guy for you. Too many flags.

[AndyPandy]

On 4/29/2024 at 5:20 PM, Batya33 said:

Those are nice words.  Watch the feet- the actions -not the lips.

Absolutely. I'd be a millionaire if I could monetise the amount of occasions that I was smiled at and thanked for a wonderful time and even informed that we could meet up again and do xyz or hang out at theirs, only to then be ghosted.

Internet Dating is particularly rife with this behaviour.

Watch what they do - not what they say.

[Cherylyn]

I'm with you.  I wouldn't feel happy being a guy who is broke.  Sorry,  it's the reality of the situation. 

In my view,  there are two types of men financially speaking.  Broke with a situation which does not look promising for the future such as child support,  lots of baggage,  dealing with his ex for decades to come,  limited time,  unstable economics and the lot. 

Then there is the guy who is broke.  However,  he has strong potential.  When my husband and I dated,  we had limited means but eventually both of us prospered.  We both saw how realistic our financial future could be.  This is a different situation entirely.

My advice?  Give yourself questions.  Think of the quality of life for him,  yourself and both of you together.  Will it be met with constant financial struggle or will you be comfortable?  Will he be fraught with money worries?  Will he have to be stingy because there is no choice?  Is it fun to live this way? 

Love doesn't pay the rent.  ☹️