Learning to Love and Heal Together

In any relationship, especially that of the romantic nature, it is important to remember that it is a two-way street. A relationship can only be successful if both parties are making an effort and working towards growth together. While once it may have been thought that someone's personality was a fixed concept, immovable at its core, it has become increasingly common to recognize the importance of effort and understanding in healthy relationships. Being part of one such relationship has shown me that there is no “that's just the way I am”.

Love is a powerful emotion that is capable of many great things, but one of its most defining characteristics is its ability to bring out change in people. It is often said that you care more for those you love, and in turn, that caring leads to treating them differently than you would strangers. In a relationship, this leads to compromises and more attention being paid to the other person’s feelings than would usually happen in any other interaction.

In tandem with caring more for a loved one, this also allows for us to challenge ourselves and our partners for the purpose of growth. Without having to go into detail about each and every trait we have, it is easy to see how people might justify toxic traits as “just the way I am”. But when faced with something like love, it is difficult to leave those toxic traits be. We can often recognize them because they don't match the ideals that we recognize in the people we love and care for. Thus, by challenging our selves, we can work on these aspects of ourselves.

Communication is also an important aspect of any successful relationship. It is said that communication can make or break a relationship—and it is true. In order for two people to understand each other, it is necessary for effective and efficient communication. When two people are truly deeply connected, listening with both ears and hearts open, it creates an environment of mutual understanding. This understanding of what is happening in the current moment and the past that has led to it, allows the two people to work together better, leading to further mutual growth.

The biggest lesson I have taken away from my time in a healthy relationship is that, while some may think they already know everything there is to know about themselves, understanding each other and finding common ground is a place we should all strive to get to. Even if it goes against that little voice in our head saying "that’s just the way I am" - operating with the understanding that genuine love means a willingness to learn and grow together, to actively listen to one another, and to love unconditionally, is the greatest thing any healthy relationship can teach us.

It is crystal clear that there is no such thing as "that's just the way I am". Love and healthy relationships are a great platform for growth and healing, allowing us to challenge ourselves and our partners. With effective and efficient communication and an understanding of the need for mutual growth and healing, our relationships can become the best form of self-care, ensuring the overall well-being of those within it.