How Can I Take Back Control in My Relationship When My Partner Is Disrespecting Me?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm in a situation where I feel like I'm not in control of my relationship anymore. I treat my significant other like a queen, but she constantly shows me disrespect and mistrust. She's dominating the entire connection and I'm struggling. I don't know how to handle it and I feel so helpless. What can I do?

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Being in an untenable relationship is an all too common experience, especially if one partner is dominating the connection and lacking respect for the other. It can be a difficult position to navigate and you may feel a sense of helplessness as you try to find a way out. If your significant other is disrespectful and mistrusts you while you treat them like a queen, here are some tips on how to restore the power balance and feel the control in your relationship again.

The first step is to set boundaries. When your partner behaves disrespectfully and treats you differently than how you treat them, it's okay to draw a line in the sand. Speak up and tell them that their behavior isn't acceptable, and make it clear when they've gone too far. Doing this will let them know that you have self-respect and won't tolerate poor treatment.

Communicate your feelings. Let your partner know exactly how their behavior and words make you feel. Tell them calmly yet firmly if the situation warrants it, and allow yourself to be vulnerable with them in order to remind them of the significance of your bond. Use "I" statements, such as "I feel taken for granted when x occurs" instead of blaming them. This will give them an insight into your feelings and show that you respect yourself enough to stand up for what you believe in.

Nourish yourself. When you're feeling overwhelmed by your partner's behavior, take some time away from them to focus on yourself and recharge. Identify activities that make you feel better and provide respite after a difficult situation - even if it's simply spending thirty minutes reading a book or taking a walk around your neighborhood. Doing this will help you remain confident and cultivate a sense of inner strength to protect yourself while in the relationship.

Identify red flags and trust your gut. If your partner has a history of dishonesty, broken promises, and a lack of respect for you, it may be difficult to determine if they genuinely care about you or are treating you unfairly. Pay attention to these red flags and trust your gut - if something feels wrong, it very well may be. Don't let them manipulate or discourage you from doing what's best for yourself - whether it's setting boundaries or deciding to end the relationship.

No matter the situation, it's important to remember that respect and trust must exist in order for a relationship to last. If your partner is treating you with little respect and an overwhelming sense of mistrust takes over, it's completely okay to set boundaries and communicate clearly. By nourishing yourself and paying attention to possible red flags, you will be able to rebuild the power balance in your relationship and take control of the situation.