How do I Find Closure?

As humans, it's only natural that we're drawn to the idea of 'closure' in our lives - some sort of end point to an issue, a person, or an event that will finally provide us with relief, and hopefully some kind of solace. It could be the conclusion of a painful family feud, finding the courage and faith to forgive somebody who hurt us, or just recognizing that things will never go back to how they were before; whatever the scenario is, the longing for closure is both incredibly normal, and understandably difficult to process.

On the surface, closure may appear to be a tool that simply resolves a conflict without having to make any hard decisions. But beneath its shiny exterior, it can be much more complex and treacherous. It requires emotional vulnerability, taking huge leaps of faith, and having enough self-respect to know when something isn't right. It's easy to feel perplexed and insecure in moments like these, so, trying to find closure can often be a bursting, overwhelming experience.

Yet, closure remains possible, but it doesn't always look like what we think it ought to. It's not just an ending, but rather a new beginning: having the strength to make peace with something, accept it, and move on. It will take grit, determination and a degree of maturity, but if you're ready to open doors instead of slamming them shut, you have every chance to unearth closure. Here are three steps that may help you along the way.

The initial step is dealing with your pent-up emotions. Unflag the anger, sadness, and frustration, then set them aside and give them the attention and respect they deserve. People often mistake this for ignoring their feelings or numbing themselves to the pain, but this couldn't be further from the truth. It's about acknowledging your circumstantial challenges and taking a deep breath. Face whatever it is that's holding you back, even if it's uncomfortable, and allow yourself to express your honest emotions.

The second step is understanding your confusion. Analyze what has happened, where it came from, and why it affected you the way it did. What may have started out as disappointment may have snowballed into rage due to the lack of clear communication. Then, rewire your perception of the issue and fixate on any realizations and lessons you have gained.

Go the extra mile and take it upon yourself to do something about it. Don't simply talk about the outcome you want, but locate ways to indirectly get there using words and actions. Even tiny success can bring forth enormous gratification: choose kindness over cruelty, forgiveness instead of revenge, and understanding rather than apathy. Loosen your grip on those persistent, daunting questions.

Achieving closure will have its own unique set of difficulties, but by embodying patience and purpose, we can all work through our turmoil and reach inner contentment. We may find it difficult at times to turn our bitterness into bravery and our fierceness into freedom, but the reward is often worth its weight in gold. Only when you have opened up yourself to the free flow of possibilities and make room for the healing power of letting go can you truly prosper and leave your wounds behind.