How Can I Cope with the Joys and Obstacles of Parenting?

Dear eNotAlone: I'm a mother of two children and I feel like my life is in shambles. It seems like I'm stuck in some kind of vicious cycle that leaves me feeling incapable, hopeless, and completely overwhelmed. My kids are my priority but lately it feels like there's just not enough hours in the day for me to take care of everything. I'm constantly having to rush around trying to make sure dinner is made, bills are paid, laundry is done and school forms are filled out. But no matter what I do, I still feel like I'm failing my family. I'm so stressed that I find it hard to enjoy my family.

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It's understandable that you're feeling overwhelmed as a parent. Taking care of your children—not to mention yourself—is no small feat, and you're likely to face both ups and downs as you work through the familial responsibilities that come along with parenting. But by learning to recognize the signs of stress, developing an effective plan to cope with it, and seeking support when necessary, it is possible to survive these hardships and keep your family afloat.

One of the most important things to remember is that when you're feeling overwhelmed, it's crucial that you take care of yourself first. If you're not in a good mental and emotional space, you won't be able to expend the energy required to give your kids the care and attention they need. Specifically, be sure to carve out time for self-care such as exercising, journaling, reading, or even a fun hobby. Doing activities that rejuvenate your spirit will help you refocus your energy on other areas of your life.

It's also important to keep an eye on your time management tactics. Whether it's making a list to stay organized, asking for help from family members and friends, or outsourcing tasks like grocery shopping and bill paying to apps, finding ways to reduce some of your mundane strains can help you gain control over your role as a parent. Don't be afraid to say no if something isn't manageable right now, and look for moments throughout the day that can be used to restore balance—even if it's just a few brisk stretches or taking a few deep breaths.

It's essential to get connected and build a support system. There are countless online communities of parents who offer free parental advice every step of the journey from pregnancy to parenting teens. Asking for help and feedback from these groups can lighten some of your load, and it's also a great opportunity to meet like-minded people and cultivate meaningful relationships. It's ok to need and ask for help as you take on the challenge of parenting. Remember that each new experience you encounter will bring both highs and lows, but with the right attitude and support you can be the best version of yourself and the parent that you want to be.