Communicating Your Preferences to Mom Before Shopping for Gifts

It can be difficult to tell your mom that you would rather have cash than clothes when it comes to gifts. After all, moms are often eager to express their love and affection through gift-giving, and they might not understand why you would prefer cold hard cash over a more tangible – and personal – gesture of love. But if money is tight or simply more beneficial to you, telling your mom how you feel can help to ensure that everyone’s needs are taken care of.

As adults, we rely heavily on communication in our relationships; this is especially important in the relationship between a mother and her adult children. Whether it’s a college student in need of some help to cover living expenses or an adult who prefers cash for more big-ticket items, being honest with mom is key.

Before broaching the subject with Mom, it’s worth taking some time to consider what form of help would best benefit you and also be acceptable to your mom. This can mean having a conversation over a cup of coffee or in the car if you’re running errands together.

Start by being honest about your current financial situation, including any struggles you may be experiencing. Don’t make excuses or blame anyone else, but simply share the facts in a respectful manner. If you’re gunning for cash instead of clothes because of a financial burden you’re currently bearing, sharing your specific needs and the ways in which her cash offerings could help will really help her understand your position.

Explain your reasoning clearly and calmly, and earnestly express your appreciation for her generosity and willingness to help however she can. Show understanding for how difficult it can be for a mother to let go of her expectations of giving clothing as a gift. It’s also important to explain how much it would mean to you to receive cash instead of clothing – think of how much easier it would make managing your finances.

It’s always worth assuring your mom that you understand the significance of the gesture, and the relationship, even if the gift won’t come in material form. If there’s something mom is particularly love shopping for, such as shoes, or a certain type of clothing, it may be worth breaking the news to her as soon as possible so that she knows not to plan any trips to the mall.

It’s also important to assure your mom that there are plenty of alternate ways youtwo can show your affection and love for one another. And that, if anything changes and you no longer need a cash gift, she’ll be the first to know!

No matter what the outcome, try to be respectful and kind. Coming from a place of understanding may help you to better reach a mutual conclusion. Even if your mom isn’t totally understanding of your wishes, remember that she’s doing so out of love.