Stress No More: 10 Things to Stop Doing to Move On from Your Ex

Breakups can be emotionally taxing, especially after a long-term relationship. There are so many things to process and yet so few resources to get us through it all—it's no wonder people have difficulty getting over their exes. Apart from seeking professional help from a trusted therapist or psychologist, there are things we can do on our own to help move past the pain of a breakup. To that end, here are 10 things to stop doing if you want to get over your ex.

1. Stop Rebuilding Bridges - A common mistake people make when trying to get over an ex is rebuilding bridges. Whether it's trying to be friends with them again or searching for answers, by attempting to build bridges you become vulnerable to more hurt and heartache.

2. Stop Rehashing Past Arguments - Going over past arguments and scenarios, no matter how bad they were, will constantly remind you of them. Quit revisiting the past and trying to make sense of what happened. It's a dead-end.

3. Stop Referencing Future Possibilities - If you're still hoping for a possible future together, you'll never fully move on until you let go of that dream. As hard as it is, it's best to accept the relationship for what it was and exit the pity-party.

4. Stop Thinking in Black and White - Moving on from an ex means accepting reality—the good, the bad, and the grey—instead of trying to view the relationship in absolute terms. Think about all the moments in between, the imperfections and nuances that defined their character and your relationship.

5. Stop Keeping Score - Yes, there are always two sides to a story, but getting stuck in a cycle of blame keeps you in a negative headspace and results in nothing but bitterness. Working on forgiving, rather than forgetting, helps free up thoughts and creates space to heal.

6. Stop Going Over Old Texts - Trying to decipher old text messages and emails won't change what happened. Doing this turns your ex into an imaginary enemy and only reminds you of how things ended.

7. Stop Wallowing in Self-Pity - The breakup was a choice and so is healing. Taking responsibility for your emotions and acknowledging that the breakup was not one-sided frees up psychological energy needed for real progress.

8. Stop Searching for a Role Model - We often look for another couple to admire who could simulate our failed relationship, but this obsession overlooks the uniqueness of that relationship. Grieving takes time and patience, but idolizing other couples will only serve to hold you back.

9. Stop Marshaling Evidence Against Yourself - Self-doubt can lead down a dark and dangerous path, one in which we find fault in ourselves and blame our ex for everything. Instead of marshaling evidence against your ability to have a successful relationship, focus on the positive characteristics within yourself that attracted your ex in the first place.

10. Stop Shoving Your Feelings Away - Get used to the idea that uncomfortable feelings are unavoidable in times of grief. Rather than trying to stuff them away, confront each emotion head-on as it comes, then actively search for solutions to tackle it with optimism.

The road to recovering from a breakup is filled with hardship and uncertainty, but it ultimately leads to growth and resilience. Make sure to actively practice self-care while avoiding the pitfalls listed above and you'll eventually come to terms with the situation and feel whole again.