90_hour_sleep Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 don't even know the day anymore....doesn't matter. i'm with you friendorfoe...just another day. Link to comment
heartbroken9 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 NC since last week but NC INCLUDING not looking at his stupid facebook starts today.. Link to comment
ScorpiGal83 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Day 5 Was thinking about all the little things I missed and naturally, it didn't help at all. But yeah... just slowly trundling along here..... Link to comment
eva76 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Whether reconciliation will be successful or not is a matter for the future to decide. All I can say is that I'd have 0 shot with my ex if I didn't go NC. NC made her miss me alot and it helped get me emotionally grounded to where I'm "back to being" me and that make her "sooooo hot." haha Good luck, my friends. I'll be around on the GBT forum, but posting less in this thread as I'm not a part of the challenge anymore! Well done, John! Link to comment
IBelieve Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 The hardest part for me right now is knowing that she is ignoring me too. It feels like I am not in control of this NC. Things that keep running through my mind: - My best friend immediately stepped in for her after our breakup..asking her to go places, keeping her company. He chose to be there for her and not for me. - Going off the last point..I feel that I can't trust my friends anymore. I know its not right to lump everyone into one group but I find myself looking for underlying motives in everything people do or say.. coworkers and friends alike. - My ex is dating my 'best friend's' good friend from another city now. They met recently when my 'best friend' took her there without inviting or telling me. Another reason why I hold such a massive and probably irreversible grudge against him. I also have this little theory going.. my 'best friend' knows I'm in pain right now.. and I've asked him to hang out many times but he never seems to have time.. always making excuses. Well my ex is going on vacation soon and I bet that once she is gone and he has no one to hang out with, he will call me up and miraculously have free time. I want to tell him off.. I want to call him up and tell him what a !@$!@$ he is. I won't do it though.. gotta exercise some constraint and not let my emotions turn me into the bad guy. I still haven't tried to initiate contact with my ex since my attempt last friday which made me look desperate. My 'best friend' called me up yesterday to see how I was doing (i picked it up without looking at the caller id).. Haha, yeah right. Normally I would actually have a convo with him but this time I kept it nice and short with no real details. What a jerk. I have this small hope still that my ex will call me up or something. I don't want her to.. I know its bad for me. Being so early in my NC mission is really hard and sucks.. the days seem long Link to comment
hesnotworthit Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 DAY 1 Broke up with him, of a 3.5 month relationship, almost 6 wks ago, cause he never treated me like he loved me, especially like a dumb piece of meat infront of his friends. Agreed to seeing him 2 wks after break up, ended up asking him to take me back because i had been relient on him for my feelings and selfworth, he said no wants to remain friends and maintain his single life. 4 wks since then ive talked to him once cuz i feel like its the only way to get over him, and dont slip up again and am weakening to talk to him again. This is just what i need to get me back on course. The hardest part about breaking up with my first serious love is that im currently in the middle of year 12 exams and im meant to be focusing on study, but it feels almost impossible. I want him out of my head, but i cant stop replaying memories of us, wondering what he's doing, if hes thinking about me etc. I cant distract myself with friends because their trying to study too atm. Its so hard, I usually would text him to make myself feel better, but i know i cant. Its over. And hes no longer on my side anymore to hold my hand, i have to fight this and face the pain alone. I know i can do better then him, hes not worth my tears or pain, but secretly my heart wants him back. Im trying to treat this break up as a learning curve. That i dont need men to make me happy, or feel beautiful, i alone am responsible for my happiness. I almost believe this, but i still have those moments of weakness when i want to denye everything he did to me, and get him back, or talk to him like nothing ever happened. This has been the longest most unhappiest, hardest period of my life, but i feel like if i hadnt of experienced it i wouldnt have learnt to look for my own light, and not relay on the light of others to fullfill me. I wouldnt have learnt that yes he made me feel good, but he also treated me bad, and i can do better then that, i can have standards. I think i miss being loved the most, maybe i was only ever in love with the concept of a boyfriend, and thats why i put up with him. I guess sometimes its better to leave a glass relationship in pieces, rather then hurting yourself, trying to put the pieces back together. I just want to tell him i still love him, and hear him say i love you too...but i know that i can never do that again. Our love is meant to be dead...forever. I wonder what the future holds for us...friends? Link to comment
Viper55666 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I havent spoken my ex in weeks but in the early hours of saturday morning I got a phone call from her basically saying she was at her friends house (who lives at the end of my street), she and one of her friends had walked another friend home and got locked out. She asked me if they could stay at my house, not wanting two ladies to be wandering the night alone, I agreed. Still not sure if it was a wise move... Really the nasty person inside me wanted to tell her where to go but the compassionate side of me speaks louder! so they ended up staying in my spare room. When they turned up her friend went straight to bed and me and my ex were stood in the kitchen, there was a weird moment where she just stood there looking at me... then looking at the floor, then looking at me again like she wanted to say or do something... then after 60 seconds or so of her looking sheepishly at me she said 'Night then', to which i responded the 'Night' then she paused, held a stare at me and then started walking upstairs, paused again and then carried on walking. I woke up in the morning to a note on the kitchen table just saying 'thanks for letting us stay x'. Havent spoken to her since. Im confused, it was a strange, awkward moment not sure if i've put it accross properly but.... does that sound strange? or am i reading something into nothing because i want there to be something? Link to comment
Jabbe Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Things are running smooth for the moment. I'm just thinking about how unhappy I was with my marriage and all of the people I told I was unhappy telling them that it won't last much longer. I guess the affection is something I miss and is truly what I'm trying to get over. It's cool to have someone to cuddle with. Lovemaking is pretty nice too, lol! There's an urge inside me to pop over and talk to her, but she' just gonna get off on thinking I'm trying to crawl back to her. I know she's at home watching TV and going to her job miserable in this city she hates so much. I'm staying out of sight. I deleted her from my myspace. I deleted all of my comments to her. I even deleted my facebook. I blocked her email too. I'm not even going to look at a picture of her. I don't even want her seeing me! I'm going out today to get a notebook to start my final journal. Hopefully it gets warm enough to jog! Link to comment
Jabbe Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 I have this small hope still that my ex will call me up or something. I don't want her to.. I know its bad for me. Being so early in my NC mission is really hard and sucks.. the days seem long I'm in a similar situation. I'm actually hoping deep down that she is gonna text me or something, but in the end it won't do any good, so I leave my phone off now. I deleted her number too. The days do seem long, but you just have to fight your way through them with a hobby, chillin with friends, and of course making new ones! Hang in there! Link to comment
createhappiness Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 DAY 13 hoping one day a morning will come where i wake up and not feel pain from my past but happiness for the present and hope for the future. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 DAY 13 hoping one day a morning will come where i wake up and not feel pain from my past but happiness for the present and hope for the future. Seconded. Hang in there. Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Feeling like crap just like any other day. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 My back hurts, think I pulled a muscle in it, well going to the doctors tomorow, not worries, uhhh about to eat lunch, its nice outside, gonna go for a jog, need to clean my car out, maybe my room, found out I am graduating this spring with my associates. Things are good Link to comment
tujna Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Day 1 (previous best achievement 11 days(!!!) Just came back from his house where I am not welcome anymore. Or rather I am welcome only when he wishes and feels alone. All I wanted was an adult good-bye but this is not what he had in mind. It ended with a big drama. I will need several days to recover from the experience. Unfortunately, I still love him. Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Day 8 (of a useless text and a reply), over 40 of no contact (long e-mails, chats, face-to-face)... I really miss him today. It's hard to resist the urge not to e-mail him during work like we used to do... NC is absolute torture. I feel like we are forgetting eachother don't really know who eachother are anymore... Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Day 6 Just wish that after not hearing from him for 3 months that he never started contacting me again a month and a half ago. So tired of the games and how much it hurts. Don't understand how you can give so much to someone and have them end up being so uncaring. Link to comment
CocoButter Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Day 4 Every day you become a stranger and how I loved you so...I am on day 4 but it feels longer bc ive gone weeks and then make contact or he makes contact so now its a fresh start...since the first attempt at no contact in december..when he sent me marry xmas text and then happy near year text...of course i responded to both... Everyone please listen to this song on youtube: Its by the Script and called break even...I swear...when you are going through a breakup...you will totally relate...all the words..."Im still alive but im barely breathing...just praying to a god that i dont believe in bc ive got time and she's got freedom...bc a heart break it dont break even" in my case it would be him...but u get the picture...listen to the song...its good. I am finding it easier to not talk to him....he has said a lot of cruel thigns...well not cruel...but cold...when u dont expect it from the person...it just hurts bc he used to be so sweet to me. Oh how I wish I cut off contact a long time ago...please everyone learn from my mistakes....time heals all...when u allow it and u just need to cut contact...no matter how hard it is. This time I am ready....I am not going to talk to him again...if he contacts me again...I will ignore...and I KNOW he will contact me again...it will take time....but the thing I know is...he expects us to talk again...bc I was always there....He thinks I will just talk to him again...and when he does not hear from me...I know he will wonder and then contact me......this is my chance to move on and I am ready...finally...once and for alll...its over Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 CocoButter, I so agree with you. I also wish I had stopped contact with him months and months ago. I would be so far ahead with my healing. I was starting to feel better and starting to get over my feelings and he sucked me in again. There is a reason for NC and that is for us to start living a life that we all deserve. Link to comment
createhappiness Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 CocoButter, I so agree with you. I also wish I had stopped contact with him months and months ago. I would be so far ahead with my healing. I was starting to feel better and starting to get over my feelings and he sucked me in again. There is a reason for NC and that is for us to start living a life that we all deserve. yup, same thing happened to me. i still had hope and was too weak to not stick w/ NC. BUT, when i think back on it, i felt it was worth the risk of breaking NC to see if he had changed. now that i know it set me back, i am even more commited to NC and realize how it is the strongest, healthiest approach to getting out of this cycle of misery and am already feeling more so much empowered that I have put my foot down on talking to him. Link to comment
Siberia Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Day 8 (of a useless text and a reply), over 40 of no contact (long e-mails, chats, face-to-face)... I really miss him today. It's hard to resist the urge not to e-mail him during work like we used to do... NC is absolute torture. I feel like we are forgetting eachother don't really know who eachother are anymore... Dear Brazilgirl, I have been reading your post for a while and want to say that while NC is torture, the opposite of it is a pride-wrecking nightmare--i.e talking and expecting they will say something about reversing the breakup, but nothing happens. Your NC is actually on day 8 and not 40 because though it was only a small text, it made abundantly clear to him that you are still hurting. I have a feeling that his rebound will take some time to play out. Anything from 6 months to 1 year. And a reconciliation is possible only if you have moved on in your life by then. The way I understand you ex's physchology as an objective viewer--it was his ego (besides his heart) that was hurt when you broke up with him for 6 months. When you got back together again, he stayed with you for as long as it took his broken heart to heal. Once that was done, he had to dump you to satisfy his bruised ego. This is very natural, very human, and I'm saying this from my exprience. He did not make a malicious, deliberate plan but followed a subconscious urge. He cannot help but go and complete a whole cycle of being with another woman. Looking at your life this way may bring you some peace of heart. I'd say try going abroad for studies. 1 Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 Siberia - Thank you SO much for your insight. Did you read my full post? Do you really believe this girl is a rebound? One thing that makes me believe it is is that she looks A LOT like me. I mean, people say that she's exactly my style. Also, on the beggining he told me things like "she loves tv shows, just like you, she defends the usa, she drives the same car...". Anyways, that's the only clue I have a feeling that she might be a rebound because I heard that if the new girl mirrows you in some way it means your ex is trying to "replace" you. However, part of me believes he has deep feelings for her because he dated her for 2 months, got back together with me, and then dumped me for her and has been with her for 2 months. Wouldn't he have stayed with me if he liked me and not her? I really DO understand the broken ego aspect of it. I guess I "broke" his relationship for him and for him it was like, ok, this girl dumped me, didn't want to get back together with me, now I moved on, she came back, and I dumped the girl for her? I guess his ego could never completely let go of that thought. He went back to her because I do believe, 100%, that he has to let that relationship runs its course and HE has to end it because HE wants to... you know? There's something that really stick with me. I told one of my friends that I gave him two days to dump the girl (this was when he was two timing both of us and I found out)... and of course I had the "right" to be like, ok two days or we are over forever after he'd been lying to me about being broken up with her. But then, my friend told one of his friends: "M gave G two days to dump his gf" and this friend, a very jealous guy, told all of his guy friends during dinner that "M gave G two days to dump X"... I mean, see how it all got distorted? I feel like his friends, ego, guy's pride, really got in the way of "love". I'm scared that if I just keep NC forever he will end up marrying her because although my ex is very strong, proud, etc... I don't see him "yearning" true love, he would just settle for what he has. I don't know how to explain. But that gut feeling scares me. Would love your input. Thanks for the advice with NC. Link to comment
jonnyauk Posted March 31, 2009 Share Posted March 31, 2009 siberia would love to know if you can offer any advice on my situation i just dont know if nc is the best thing for me or not infact i just aint got a clue what to do Link to comment
tujna Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 It is the evening of the first day and it is weird that I feel too calm, given the fact that we just separated this morning after horrible drama in which he was running and I wan chasing him I wish someone had made a picture, would have been pretty ridiculous. All my friends joined in cursing him and this helped. I feel much better at night and down during the day. I wonder why that is. I was even able to read for my class tomorrow, although my mind was not 100% there. The more I read the posts in this forum, the more I realize how similar our reactions are, how we beg and plead someone not to leave us. But now it seems so obvious to me that you can never stop someone who wants to go. Why didn't I realize it 8 months earlier when he first threatened to leave?? I should have let him then instead of going through this misery of abuse. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 beggin' and pleadin are no-nos, the more we try to control somethin' the more it will evade us Link to comment
Jessielundie74 Posted April 1, 2009 Share Posted April 1, 2009 this is so hard. hes really gone this time... Link to comment
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