Desperate for understanding

I am so sad. It has been like a month and a half and it dosent seem that me and my ex are getting back together any time soon. We dated two years, and spoke of marriage. Then he says he has to go find himself. I talked with him the other night,(when he called me) and he seemed really stressed out about school and work. I want to be there for him but I dont really know where I should draw the line. I love him so much and I dont want to see him struggle. However, in a conversation before this past one he told me that he did miss me and that he would give me my stuff back after the semster is over. The semster thing dosent make much sense. He lives in the same town that I do. I even told him that I would come get it if he didnt have time. I don't know if he is trying to hold on to my stuff so I am still part of his life or if that is just what I want to think. Shouldn't I be getting over some of this by now? It isnot going away through it all I still think that he is my "soul mate". I want him back but I also dont want to be run over. What am I supposed to do? Hopelessly desperate!

Greetings.

I would go get your stuff. If this guy dumped you, you need to collect your things. They're not his, and he broke your heart. I would politely tell him that you are coming by this week to get your things, and what day/time would be good for him? If he stalls and says something like, I'll mail them or I'll bring them,etc., tell him no, that you need some of the stuff and you're coming to get it. Tell him that you won't bother him, you just want your stuff.

It will be difficult to move on or use the no contact rule if he is still holding onto your stuff... just my suggestion. If you want him back, do the no contact thing after you get your things and make sure you keep yourself busy. Come here for support throughout that time. I think it takes everyone different amounts of time to get over someone, depending upon a lot of factors. If he said "I need to find myself", to me that means that he is bored and doesn't really know what makes him happy in life. He may want to date other people.... I know it's hard to accept and it hurts and it sucks..... come here anytime for help.

One reason he may be keeping your stuff is that he may still have feelings for you and seeing you before he feels over you will make it harder. You are talking about school so I am assuming you two are young. Believe me the person you are is a different person than you will be in five years and so is he. Break ups are hard not only because the person is gone from you as a partner but also as a friend no matter how hard you try to keep them in your life it is difficult to maintain a friendship. I agree with princess go get your stuff. Then start to look at the person you are what are your goals what things do you want to do. Take this time to realize your dreams and make a plan how to achieve them. Because you aren't together doesn't make either of you bad people it just means you aren't right for each other. No matter how much you think that he is the one for you. If he was the one for you then you wouldn't be looking for our help right now. Good luck.

well, with that being said should I hold ot hope that maybe one day that we will get back together? I know he still oves me but he just has issues right now. Am I being nieve?