amanda1266 Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Hi all.. I have a question.. I am dating a wonderful man but we are having some difficulty in the sex department. He says that sex for him is GREAT, but I have never been able to orgasm. I can't by intercourse and I can't by him stimulating my clit. I can orgasm just fine most times when I am by myself and masturbating. I can tell this is starting to bother him. He wants to make me happy in every way.. I can see it makes him feel insecure.. He makes comments about how he doesn't do it for me sexually.. when the truth is that he does I just can't orgasm. I am very attracted to him both physically and mentally.. So I was wondering if anyone knows of any "safe" creams or pills that can help me make myself more sensitive to his touch and his penis. He has recommended to me a product called Stamina RX for women but I am skeptical to take stuff like this without reading about other people who have taken it. Thanks for any help! Link to comment
0XMICOX0 Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Amanda, Have you tried looking into some toys that may aid your sex life? For example, there are some rings and have "bullets" (vibrators) that stimulate your clitoris and also help him stay erect longer. Also, you could try putting a pillow under your buttocks when in missionary position to allow an easier access to your clitoris or you could always play with yourself while he is doing you . Seems to turn guys on and gets the job done so technically it's like killing two birds with one stone Link to comment
Mythical_Suicide Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 If you can orgasm during masturbation but not during intercourse, it's not that you CAN'T orgasm it's just alot harder.. Have you tried rubbing on yourself? Thats usually the only way I can get off during actual intercourse. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 have him touch it while he is inside you. make sure you tell him your weaknesses. the ones that make you weak in the knees. Link to comment
Freckles Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Have Him give you Oral Sex If he does it long enough , you will have a Orgasm Have him do it for you first before anything else. If he takes a hour or two, and takes his time Also a good feeling is for him to have some suction while he does that , with his mouth. So that the blood flows to that area of your body You will feel the diffrence Link to comment
amanda1266 Posted December 27, 2007 Author Share Posted December 27, 2007 Thanks for all the replies, however none of them help me.. I'm 27 years old.. I know how it's "supposed" to work.. but it doesn't for me.. I asked if anyone knew of any creams or pills that enhance sensation.. Thanks!! Link to comment
teknoise Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 Have Him give you Oral Sex If he does it long enough , you will have a Orgasm Have him do it for you first before anything else. If he takes a hour or two, and takes his time Also a good feeling is for him to have some suction while he does that , with his mouth. So that the blood flows to that area of your body You will feel the diffrence lol... I read the first two lines and went 'damn, that looks like Freckles posting style' ... looked to the left and sure enough it was Freckles... looks like another Ojar transplant has arrived! Link to comment
holyohio Posted December 27, 2007 Share Posted December 27, 2007 there are creams that they sell at sex toy party things (my gf's roommate hosted one about a year ago) that supposedly makes your clit (and other parts) more sensitive. I was over there studying for an exam and girls would go in the bathroom with popcicle sticks and "try it"...they all came out giggling and most of them ordered. might try that out. Other than that, just try and experiment with each other and verbalize what feels good and what not. All girls like being licked/touched down there in different ways, make sure you go slow and let him know what feels best. Link to comment
rant Posted December 29, 2007 Share Posted December 29, 2007 Why not use your own fingers during sex? It's not uncommon at all for women to require that - nature played a bit of a dirty trick by putting the clitoris on the OUTSIDE of the vagina. I understand some men get insecure about this, and I absolutely can't understand that - what heterosexual man isn't turned on by the sight of a woman fingering herself??? Even if he's having sex with her, so what? I personally LOVE it when I encounter a woman who has to use her fingers, because it's like I get to watch her masturbating AND having sex at the same time, AND I'm getting to have sex with her at the same time lol! OH, bigtime important here, if you're one of those types, which seems to be the case, DON'T grow your fingernails too long unless you use a really mellow fingering technique and have PERFECT control of where your fingers go. Even then, the mere thought of a fingernail accident can (at least for me) make a guy go soft in a hurry lol! Link to comment
J_Babe0910 Posted December 31, 2007 Share Posted December 31, 2007 After a while of "doing it yourself", I think you get used to how you do it and any other way doesn't seem as good. I guess there is two suggestions. 1) stop doing it youself. I know that sucks but, maybe that will make you more sensitive or needy for it after awhile 2) as someone else said, help you boy out by doing some of it yourself (aka touch urself down there while he is doing his thing Link to comment
hummingbird20 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 A lot of the sensitivity and ability to reach orgasm for women comes from the mind-body connection. Orgasms are much easier for me if I have watched or am watching porn during sex and then fantasizing about those scenes. Fantasies are awesome but they have to be varied and fresh. And, I have found recently that certain songs, "sex music", can instantly flip the switch- going from okay, this is fun, to full throttle TILT! Link to comment
Jenn1988 Posted February 6, 2012 Share Posted February 6, 2012 Since you can give yourself an orgasm, try doing things in stages. First, masturbate yourself to orgasm while he is there, jut the way you do when he isn't. This will get you used to having him there for your orgasm and will also let him see what stimulation gets you there. Then, the next time, begin masturbating yourself to orgasm but as you get close let him take over and see if he can get you there. If that works, the next time begin masturbating but let him take over very soon. Once you can do that, then let him touch you from start to finish. If all of this works, then have intercourse and repeat the same stages during intercourse. Link to comment
ccbsul0309 Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Hey Hun, so I had the same exact problem between my boyfriend of five years and myself. I discovered that making him get sensual and slow was the key. So try this and see if it helps. Put on some nice music, grab three dark colored and long fashion scarfs. For doing this the first time its important you set the precedent. So blind fold him with one scarf, and tie him to the bed with the others. Tell him that you're in control, so no touching no thrusting unless you tell him to. Its all about taking it slow and thinking about nothing but the sensation. The key is that you are on top and in control. You can position everything so its just right so you can feel it. Tell him to completely relax and focus completely on the way it feels, and you have to do the same thing. Find your groove and that special spot. This all helped me out because you're showing him what feels good and its not crazy and wild. The blind fold helps make you focus ( when its your turn to wear it) on nothing but how it feels. For women this is great because you aren't focused on how you look doing various things and are more likely to surrender, and it helps to build sexual suspense. Now if you're not a slow and sensual couple, I recommend his and hers, some foreplay, and then the ultimate combination in the end. It makes you a little more sensitive. Hope this helps a bit. Link to comment
arbelos Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 try this: rub the end of his erection on your clitoris, in fact take turns doing it, and when he starts to come... keep rubbing and it is very likely you will come too, it's partly a bio-chemical thing; and maybe/even possibly/could be/ you will come first! Forget about pills and creams and latex. Any way, when you see his come spurting onto your wet bits you'll both love it. Do it, babes. Link to comment
Lonewing Posted April 24, 2014 Share Posted April 24, 2014 Practice practice practice... If you can do it with just yourself, then you can do it with him - you just have to practice. Don't even worry about his end for a moment; just you, him, and your bits... Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.