gf broke up with me.. Devastated heartbroken and confused

[Siriana]

she messaged me today on yahoo.. said " hey "X" I hope you are ok I want to as you for a favor.. please don't ask my sister or my friends about me, if you want to know talk to me and I'll tell you and I am fine right now thank you. I will talk to you later bye"

 

I just replied "Ok",

 

I didn't know what to reply.. "that no I miss u and all that ??"

 

Well if you were doing that STOP it seems obssesed!

[Massari]

Well if you were doing that STOP it seems obssesed!

 

I just wasn't sure if she actually wants to talk to me.. that’s why I asked her sister who is very close with me as well... i really didn't mean to intrude on her or anything.. but I am just letting her go for now and concentrate on me.

[Iceman26]

but I am just letting her go for now and concentrate on me.

 

Great news. I think you will find in the long run that you are better off. I wish you luck.

[Massari]

Great news. I think you will find in the long run that you are better off. I wish you luck.

 

iceman one think that I am trying to do is to make me a better person. because lookwise I dun think I have a problems *this is me on my avatar* and frankly thats what all my gfs seemed to like and attracted them to me. when we were still going out she was telling me that I am a quiet person and she the type that talks and laughs a lot and that we don't communicate. I personally disagree on the communication part because I think I communicated with her and that she didn't take it well and broke it . However I do agree that I am very quiet and just talk when needed. Is that bad? I mean her best friend who I know also is this player guy who talks and laughs all the time and iguess she finds that attractive in them. Is that what all women are looking for? someone to laugh with? I am more serious and yea maybe I don't talk or make jokes all the time but my actions shows how much I care about someone.

[Siriana]

I just wasn't sure if she actually wants to talk to me.. that’s why I asked her sister who is very close with me as well... i really didn't mean to intrude on her or anything.. but I am just letting her go for now and concentrate on me.

 

Oh, o.k.....but next time skip it...just try to be overly proud....sometimes it helps ;-)

[Massari]

](*,) MAAAN WHY DOES THIS HURT SO MUCH!! it kicks you in the nuts... ok so she and my sister (mostly she liking my sister) are friends. She just said that she missed her and all and hope to see her soon.. like what the hell?? she doesn't miss me who spent so much time with her.. and my sister whome she only saw like a few times she misses.. you see thats the kinda gal she was.. all about talks.. and as you can they worked on me for a month,

[NoComply]

man up

 

sorry, that phrase made me laugh a fair bit. i love it.

cheers picklefoot, im going to use that i think

[NoComply]

big deal. it was someone flirting with her.

when my gf goes out on a night with her girl mates.

she gets hit on by lots of lads everytime she's out. she more than likley flirts back with them all, and often blags free drinks off them.

i dont care. usually text her back saying something like "bet you loved that".

 

fact of the matter is, if she ever cheated on me, she'd be dropped in a beartbeat. and i wouldnt feel down about it.

they clearly never loved you if they cheat, so not worth getting upset over.

 

i think you should have been less jelous in this situation 2bh

[guest77]

Bro, trust me you are just feeling lonely (no offence). Get out there, have confidence, spend some money, and get yourself another girl. I got attached to a girl after a month as well, but not completely because of her. It's the fact that I don't like to be alone, and being with somedy makes it whole lot easier. Respect yourself, and respect her decision. if she wants to come back she will call you. do not even call, message or anything. She gave you a visa to go and have some real fun. Enjoy it. do not feel down, because there are plenty others out there. And you are probabily better than her. Why sweat it. Jelousy is bad. That shows your insecurity. If she wants to cheat she will do it with you not knowing about it. If you feeling down, occupy yourself with many activities. It might be hard in the beginning but push yourself don't be lazy. Stay calm at all times. do not lose your composure, because she will see you are weak and will not want you back.

 

I am hoping i didn't offend you.

[Massari]

so messaged her.. got no reponses.. called her 4 times no responsed left a voicemail even no resoponses. I felt light headed ... heart beat going fast.. I ended up in the hospital with heart rate 120/MIN . The doctor said.. you are lucky you could have had a heart attack. They gave me medicine to slow down my heart rate x rays and stuff.. and whenI got home.. at 3 am. I got a text saying stop calling me and messaging me.. we are over don't try to change that

. bye/

 

 

what did I learn? IT IS NOT WORTH IT. I COULD HAVE GOTTEN A STROKE FROM THIS>> NAAA i am so happy I didn't. I am quitting smoking/alcohol today/ get that heart beat normal again!

[Siriana]

so messaged her.. got no reponses.. called her 4 times no responsed left a voicemail even no resoponses.

 

 

WHY???????

ARE YOU A STALKER?

 

 

seriously, this was a huge thing - you can't call someone million times after they dumped you.

if you cal lher one more time she can go to police if crazy enough!

 

erase her number from your phone.

[lolz]

you are being a real stalker and this is scary for the girl coz you look obsessed and crazy. Obviously, she will never get back with you. Just leave her alone. And did you ever had any inborn heart problems? Coz almost getting a heart attack at the age of 23 is a serious problem. Imagine what's gonna happen next if you are not going to give up your lifestyle. You should seriosuly consider seeing a psycologist or something because you are not only have jealousy problems, you seem to get really obsessed. That's not good and freaky.

[lady00]

And did you ever had any inborn heart problems? Coz almost getting a heart attack at the age of 23 is a serious problem. Imagine what's gonna happen next if you are not going to give up your lifestyle.

 

I agree. I think the problem is way way bigger than how you feel about your ex and the breakup. It's understandable for you to be upset and for you to want to talk to her but it should not be a threat to your physical health. I think you should go back to your doctor and explain the whole situation to him. He will probably be able to help you figure out how to avoid another situation where you heart rate gets so fast, and he can also probably refer you to someone who you can talk to about what you're experiencing. I think talking to a professional is great if you have the chance. It really helped me get over a very tough breakup once. It wasn't a magic fix but it brought me a lot closer to where i needed to get in my healing process.

[schueysgirl]

Look how far this has got you. You are ruining yourself. And it is because of you that you are causing these things to happen. You dont have to call her or text her or anything anymore. You dont have to cause yourself this physical pain.

 

Can you imagine what you will be like if you are with someone for years and you split? Or you get married and have kids and then they want a divorce?! You will probably end up killing youself. This is not how to deal with grief and problems by working yourself up so bad. Why are you doing this to yourself?! Ask yourself that.

 

I am hurting incredibly. I thought i would have a future with my man of 3 years. A complete shock bombshell breakup has completely knocked me for 6, and i feel so terrible and sure i have been weak and called him once, but he never answered or rang back. I have not text him and rang him and left voicemails over and over. It is not the way to go on. You have to pick yourself up and look after yourself. If you are not happy with yourself then you will never last in a relationship.

 

Take a loooooong looooong time alone to think about yourself and how to fix these problems. Think postivly. You need to sort yourself out at 23 you should not be close to a heart attack. For whatever reason. Definetly do whatever you think you need to do to work on yourself. (go to doctor, counselling, gym, exercise, eat better, friends, new hobby, sports, reading, getting a pet, driving a car, go karting, karate, ice-skating...god anything)

but NOT her.

 

You cannot keep doing this to yourself, and you cannot keep doing this to her. Why doesnt she answer your calls? Why doesnt my ex answer my calls? why doesnt anyone on here's ex answer there calls? Because they dont want to talk to us. Ouch. Yes that hurts. It hurts me to type it. But it is true. And the longer we go on trying the more we annoy/hurt/scare them. It is not fair on them. It is not fair on us that they hurt us but we cannot control their choices.

 

We can only control our own. And your choice right now is to sit up, smile and take little steps at a time to fixing yourself. You cannot fall so hard and so fast again, with the jealousy, it all needs to be fixed before you can find someone else and be happy. Otherwise you will be living in a vicious circle for the rest of your life....which wont be a very long one if u dont get some help and move on...

 

(P.s i dont mean to sound harsh but sometimes the softly softly approach doesnt work and it clearly isnt on you right now...i am hurting too in fact i have jct been crying again but i know i cannot ring him...and you need to realise this also).

[Massari]

thank you so so much... well it has been exactly 2 weeks now and I didn't cry for the last 2 days. yeah I was in the hospital and it was from an anxiety attack. My friends soon found out about me including the ex. She messaged me seeing if I am alright and said that I should let it go and just move on, bla bla bla. I deleted her profile from my facebook so hopefully this will make the process a lot easier, maybe rude of me to do it I don’t know because after that I can see she deleted me from her MSN. Maybe it is better like that because I am tired from all this, this unhappiness this physical condition. I have been physically tired in the past 2 weeks.

[schueysgirl]

anxiety attacks are a warning: and be thankful you have had a warning to give you another chance. No more warnings you dont need this: no more anxiety. Delete her from everything - your whole life. Not just facebook. If you delete all contact numbers and addresses there is no way you can contact her. It sounds extreme but at the moment it seems all you are doing is extreme.

 

Read your signature. It makes sense. Then do as it says. Sort yourself out and you will find someone when you are ready, when you have sorted out your issues. Dont do it before or it will happen again.

[Massari]

first of all thank you all soo soo much for keeping up with my post, you guys are amazing

 

So I wake up today feeling pretty good .. the best I have felt in the past few weeks. The night before I was invited to a wedding, drank danced had a lot of fun (tried at least). I am sitting at my desk and my yahoo messenger is on (she is not on my list but she isn't blocked either). Just talking to ppl and feeling very good . Then all of a sudden bam she messages me asking about me

 

This is the exact conversation

 

 

Her: hey “x” how are you? Are you better

Me (5/28/2007 6:35:13 PM): Yeah thanx

Me (5/28/2007 6:35:20 PM): how are you?

Her (5/28/2007 6:35:23 PM): merci I am good

Her (5/28/2007 6:36:45 PM): so you don’t smoke anymore?

Me (5/28/2007 6:36:55 PM): Smoke less

Me (5/28/2007 6:36:58 PM): but I do smoke

Her. (5/28/2007 6:37:01 PM): so you still smoking

Me (5/28/2007 6:37:08 PM): yeah 3 a day

Her. (5/28/2007 6:37:12 PM): aha

Her. (5/28/2007 6:38:09 PM): ok so I won’t take your time anymore take care bye

Me (5/28/2007 6:38:16 PM): bye

 

I tried not responding at all she initiated everything simply because I know my moving on process was going well especially today till she messaged me. Now all I can think about again is why is she talking to me asking me how I am? And how did I reply to her. I was rather cold but I think it was smart.

 

WHY ON earth does she bother if I smoke or not, non of her business anymore what I do or what I don’t.

 

 

 

what do you all think? is she missing me or something?

[tray25]

Delete her out of the message thing. That will have her head spinning. Then go pay 30 bucks for a hot girl to walk with you hand in hand. See how she starts acting then.

 

My real advice: You shaved a few years of your life because of her. Do you want to die young?

[Massari]

Delete her out of the message thing. That will have her head spinning. Then go pay 30 bucks for a hot girl to walk with you hand in hand. See how she starts acting then.

 

My real advice: You shaved a few years of your life because of her. Do you want to die young?

 

well no I am moving on.. but still think of her on day to day bases but its fading away. I do miss her especially last night at that wedding I wish she was there with me. she is deleted out of my list but not blocked.. maybe I should block her!

 

but seriously is she missing me or something?

[tray25]

She doesn't want to be responsible for your death. She feels guilty. She also might have severe head problems and likes to see you suffer. I knew this girl in elementary school who liked to torture or take a stick and pick on a dying bird. She loved it. Turns out she killed her exboyfriend from grief. Played lots of games and he committed suicide. Now she is happily married.

[lolz]

Unfortunately, Tray is right, there a a lot of girls like that around. But I don't think it's the case with your ex. She simply asked if you are fine or not because maybe she felt a bit guilty for what happened to you and it's just polite to ask. So don't look for any hopes like you are doing now. Most likely, she doesn't miss you and doesn't want to get back.

[lonely_woman]

We have the same experience Massari. It’s been 2 days the last time me and my boyfriend talked so I send text messages to my boyfriend’s friend yesterday and got no answers. My boyfriend has his own cell phone but he never give me his number so I send text message to his friend and nobody answered me. I look stupid in doing it. He broke me up for a little argument. He diced not to contact me anymore. I felt bad, just like you I keep on crying and can’t eat and sleep will. They don’t even know what they are doing to our lives they made it miserable. One day will come we are over with them. So hope we will forget them totally. And they will realize what they’ve lost.

[Siriana]

Delete her form your contacts.

[Massari]

Unfortunately, Tray is right, there a a lot of girls like that around. But I don't think it's the case with your ex. She simply asked if you are fine or not because maybe she felt a bit guilty for what happened to you and it's just polite to ask. So don't look for any hopes like you are doing now. Most likely, she doesn't miss you and doesn't want to get back.

 

Wow I never heard of such women. Oh well I hope in long run she would realized what she has done and missed out on a great guy, I am going great right now though.. havea job interview today .. so I am alright .. some days I just miss her alot .. it had been a little over two weeks but I do miss her.](*,)

[lolz]

I understand that, missing is ok as long as you don't do things like calling her and all that. Good luck with your interview and I hope you'll get that job.