MySpace... What's the Main Purpose?

[kmartin85]

myspace is nothing but a waste of time! Its a place for pedophiles searching for there next victim

 

i agree with this 100%. But when you have parents on myspace that is doing nothing but encouraging their 8,9,10,11,12 year old children to have their own accounts as well. I used to love facebook because you had to be a college student to have an account and they verified that with you school email address so that kept it to people around my age and was a great way to network within your school and community, but now that has been overrun as well because now anyone can join. whatever happened to people having good social skills and meeting and getting to know someone in real instead of seeing photoshopped pictures and automatically falling head over heels in love?

[loveistough]

Personally I don't like myspace but I definetly don't see it as a dating site. I have never heard it called that until I read this thread.

[iwishiknew]

Myspace is not a good place to meet girls.

[Sweet Buttabean Jellayroll]

myspace is used to get yurself known more in the community and accross the world.....i used it to keep up with friends, and to promote my music

[Iceman26]

The main purpose of myspace is to make money through advertising.

[Siriana]

The main purpose of myspace is to make money through advertising.

 

heheh

[Iceman26]

heheh

 

I thought I would just throw that one out there........

[Siriana]

I hope I am not the only one who finds that funny!

[daveygravey]

I'm pretty sure the main purpose of MySpace is for ex-girlfriends to taunt their former lovers with photographs and accounts of their new lover and how happy they are!

 

Today's revelations (on another thread) have just confirmed what I posted a few days ago ^^

 

I hate her so much

[Siriana]

Oh, black humor convention! Finally some fun - thanks Iceman and daveygravey

[Iceman26]

They should have an offshoot of myspace called:

 

link removed: For people who want to post provactive pictures of themselves but not be contacted by others. A place to taunt and tease ex's and rejected suitors.

[daveygravey]

They should have an offshoot of myspace called:

 

link removed: For people who want to post provactive pictures of themselves but not be contacted by others. A place to taunt and tease ex's and rejected suitors.

 

Ha yeah my ex has now changed her main photo as one of her posing in her underwear for some photoshoot. She used to absolutely rip into girls like - cheap, slutty, skanky, desperate for attention etc. etc. Dear oh dear how the mighty have fallen.

[liat]

I think myspace can be used for what ever you want to use it for.

 

If you're wanting it to be a dating site, then use it for that. If you want to use it for networking, then use it for that.

 

I have a myspace account. Ironically, it's myspace that ended up causing my ex and I to break up...however I still use it to keep in touch with family and friends. I've never personally had a problem with weirdo's.

[tiredofvampires]

Hope you guys can stand for a tormented question here, as this seems an opportune moment to present it, and I hope for some feedback pertaining to this (bear with me, this IS about Myspace) -- I'm glad this topic came up, because my ex and I met on a "legit" dating site, fell in love though we were 3000 miles away, and proceeded to have a very rocky LDR. Neither of us took our profiles down for the 13 wrenching months of best and worst love times I've ever had...and though I was ignoring the site all the while, and kept deleting all the "hits" I was continuously getting, one man who seemed like a good contact to be friends with, share topics of interest with and maybe get some professional services from at some point (he's a carpenter and I was hoping he might help me renovate a room in my house, maybe even to make it better for my boyfriend to stay long-term) seemed worthy to befriend. He was extremely unpretentious and unpresumptuous. I should add, I also wish sometimes the Internet didn't complicate our lives so much, but I do live in a rather isolated place where the population is not of my background, so meeting people that make real connections that click the "old fashioned way" is hard to come by and I feel grateful for the chance to meet people I normally wouldn't through the Net (though you have to be choosy!), either for romance (like my flame) or unintentionally (like this guy). I didn't tell my boyfriend because he was having terrible difficulty accepting the male platonic friendships already in my life, let alone someone new...who lived close by!; but I had every intention of telling him one day, when there was more trust and we were out of rough waters. I didn't like having to hide it. I expressed nothing but devotion to my bf and had been very frank and candid about the nature of my other friendships, I showed him my entire hand but he continually mistrusted me. With this one guy friend "potential", I did decide that I'd keep my conversations light, about music and personal stories that we could support eachother in, and part of this was my telling him that I was deeply into my bf and making it work. True to my impressions, he was encouraging and totally respected it. I didn't even meet him, we just exchanged occasional e-mails...until 5 months later my bf found out by snooping on a letter I'd written to my sister telling her I felt guilty about this man's friendship w/me (not because I wanted to cheat, but because all this was behind my bf's back and I was living such a fearful life with him and feeling oppressed by that.) Well, that his good reason to dump me, saying IF I HAD WANTED TO MAKE FRIENDS, I SHOULD HAVE STARTED UP AN ACCOUNT ON MYSPACE.

 

To this day, this grieves and gores me, it seems so flimsy and hypocritical and lame, because even if it sounds "legit" to say "hey, I met so-and-so on myspace, so he's just a friend" in actuality, I could just as easily strike it up with someone on Myspace. An honest woman like me could meet someone on a dating site like this incident and act morally as I did, while a dishonest woman could say she just met a friend on Myspace and be having an emotional affair or worse! He has an account on Myspace as a musician, which he thinks is highly legit, but I'm sure with the suave images of himself on there, he has gotten his fair share of girls wanting more. All of this could remain covert, even if he claims to be above-board! I told him that even though I met this friend (who is now a really good friend who listened to my tears for these 9 months over my break-up!!!!) on a "dating site" when I wasn't looking for one, the same thing could happen at a coffee shop or networking at work or ANYWHERE, including MYSPACE, and Myspace is no insurance that rivals will not appear! So his condemnation of the origins of my friendship are arbitrary in a way, as I see it, and ridiculous as Myspace goes. I don't know what the difference is except that you can disguise yourself and intentions more on Myspace, and if someone on a dating site contacts you and you say "I'm taken" and they don't care, it is more like how Myspace is supposed to be!!

 

I really didn't mean to get so long-winded on you guys, or for this to evolve into my personal rant, but I have been thinking about how best to post this question and since this is about Myspace, I hope it's okay that I'm asking here for your opinions on this thing he said...if it's just BS...because as Shakespeare said, "what's in a name"? I just don't think it would have necessarily made me more honorable to have met guy "friends" on Myspace than in any other venue and told them I HAVE A BOYFRIEND, SO IF YOU WANNA STILL TALK, THAT HAS TO BE COOL.

 

I feel that he dumped me over a technicality...while it was an excuse to leave me...what do you think....?

 

My feelings about myspace is that it IS like TV, you can choose the "good shows" or the trash, it all depends on you; but for the most part, I would not seek out friends there of quality, as he suggested, as it is a popularity, superficial place of vanity overall, except for those who are seriously using it for business networking and keeping in contact with old friends...

 

And besides the heartache of visiting his page every day like a damn fool, after he cut me off, and reading things that made me feel forgotten...the only happy moment was seeing a sticker on someon'es car recently with the Myspace logo, only saying "Myspace: a place for losers."

 

Thanks for listening everyone and thanks ahead of time for some input, as this has eaten away at me for MONTHS....

[Mysterious Gurl]

To be truthful I joined because my friends were on it. I don't use it for dating or to promote a business or band. I am a bit of an addict to it I must admit and I just use it for fun. I love leaving comments on my friends pages, I also feel it's a good way to express yourself. I don't know if that was a correct word but I mean people can get to know "you" about your likes and dislikes etc ...

 

I know a lot of people have negative views on Myspace and I can undertsand why. It can effect relationships and cause a lot of problems for people. I do have a positive side for it, I managed to find a few family members that I'm cut off from so I've been able to maintain a bond with them. I think it's all down to how you use Myspace really.

[daveygravey]

Hey there, I'm sorry your boyfriend felt that way, I think he was being very unreasonable. Like you've said - you can meet new friends anywhere: coffee shop, the park, the mall etc. Who cares that it was on a dating site? You haven't been unfaithful or even entertained the thought of it.

 

The fact that you hid this new friendship from your boyfriend was the wrong move, but a white lie that you felt was for the best. If I found out a partner had hidden a secret friendship from me, sure I'd be concerned and suspicious, but it's not a reason to break up. Your boyfriend just seems quite immature and way too jealous.

 

And put it this way, do you really think this relationship would have worked long-term? You don't seem too compatible in terms of a trusting relationship.

 

Hmmm anyway, hope my thoughts put your mind at ease a little bit.

[tiredofvampires]

Hey daveygravey --

 

Thanks so much for your words of sympathy and understanding! I know my post is long, and thanks for getting through it and your comments, I really do appreciate it...it is medicinal to my heart to know there are guys out there who wouldn't think or react the way he did (I mean, don't my INTENTIONS count for anything, INTENTIONS with this new friend had nothing to do with being on a DATING site). It is good to know someone might think of it with more perspective than he had...and you are much younger than he!

 

I think that you are right about the things you say...it was probably the wrong move not to tell him about the new friendship, but really, it was either tell him and he'd break up with me (on a false premise) or live with this lack of integrity, or reject this contact. All my choices were bad, a no-win situation. What was I to do? I had this visual of us being married and one day saying, "by the way, you know the carpenter? Well, I actually met him long ago from the dating site!" and we'd have a laugh! Maybe I AM crazy! I had been transparently honest about gents in my life, and I paid a dear price all along for strong conscience. By the time I got to hiding this, my ideal of a trusting relationship, free of blame, shame and guilt but just open communication was torn apart. But a lot of his buddies told him he was perfectly justified to walk.

 

Yes, every day I have to remind myself of what you say, that it probably wouldn't have worked out for other reasons because of the way he was...I told him first I wanted to be good friends with my SO, and he said I was f-ing ridiculous and naive to think anyone on a DATING SITE wants to be "friends" and they are lying if they say otherwise. I think putting me down like that coupled with his cynicism about how people meet and progress in getting to know eachother (even in a cyber world) was an early bad moment; I think that was the beginning of my thinking, "well, not every guy thinks like you, a lot would be happy to just have a friend." I see both men and women wanting to feel out budding relationships AS FRIENDS FIRST either on a bonifide "dating" site OR Myspace!! Sincere people ARE out there. I didn't plan on meeting someone online though.

 

Since then, I've had this total aversion to Myspace because it seems like a dating site in disguise (or at very least a forum where you might find someone with that potential even only with "networking/friends" listed.) I wonder how many romantic hook-ups start like that. He did not indicate his status on Myspace one way or the other. The whole thing reeks to me of insincerity and double standards because of his making it out to seem like such an innocent place...thanks again for your consoling words!

 

Anyone else who can respond, I would be grateful, whatever your feelings about this, I know this is a tangent on the thread...

[daveygravey]

Hey there, glad my words were of some comfort and made sense.

 

 

 

You are reasonable in what you infer here: some people ARE actually happy to just be friends!! I've been out with girls before, it hasn't worked, and we've remained friends. I've met girls and there's been attraction but nothing's happened, and we've remained friends. Not every guy is a horny and devious monster like your ex believes! Some of us do actually keep female company because we enjoy the conversation, not just as part of an elaborate and lengthy ruse to get them into bed!

 

Ha, anyway, best of luck getting over this, I'm sure you will. This guy was not for you.

[prizeless]

I'm only on myspace because my girlfriend had an account on there and she wanted to be "friends" with me on there. So I said what the hell and did it. I don't use it as a dating site and neither does she its just something to keep in touch with friends with. Everyone in my friends list is someone I know. I guess you could use it as a dating site as well, but I would imagine it would be kind of difficult to meet someone on there...

[tiredofvampires]

I've met girls and there's been attraction but nothing's happened, and we've remained friends. Not every guy is a horny and devious monster like your ex believes! Some of us do actually keep female company because we enjoy the conversation, not just as part of an elaborate and lengthy ruse to get them into bed!

 

Yay!! This is what I'm talking about! I have done a lot of posting on other threads relating to this, and it seems that there are a majority out there expressing a great deal of suspicion about men's motives and women's "gullibility", and I, like you, have experiences to back up the FACT that genuine friendships can arise that men value without some calculation, as you say. The guy from the dating site that my bf flipped over wouldn't have contacted me if he didn't have some notion in his mind that we might hook up if there was chemistry, but as soon as I told him I was with someone else, he was just fine thinking we might just enjoy company and said he hoped I could make it work w/my bf. THE MEN WHO WERE ONLY INTERESTED IN ROMANCE OR WOOING ME FELL BY THE WAYSIDE WHEN I TOLD THEM!

 

My bf made a lot of elaborate justifications for his jealousy and mistrust, including the long distance factor and that I was also buddies with a couple of exes...but in hindsight, I wonder if these were all projections of HIS onto me, being the type you say to make ruses (he was a very charming sort, with virtually no close women friends) to seduce women he had any interest in, or at least enamour them of him. So maybe he cannot imagine any man being otherwise, or it being otherwise. Thank god for blokes like you, you help restore my faith!!

 

Ha, anyway, best of luck getting over this, I'm sure you will. This guy was not for you.

 

Thank you from my heart for this...I hope you're right...the most painful thing that I can't seem to get past is knowing that he destroyed the trust, but I"M the one in the end who looked like the criminal who did...

 

..And that goddamn Myspace page of his which I have to stop looking at and crying over like some fiendish masochist, which I doubt he thinks I even go to (2 days after we broke up, he posted to a friend there that he was "doing great"!! where I see all the people who he still loves and wants in his life...back to your original post about the effect of Myspace, ha!

[daveygravey]

..And that goddamn Myspace page of his which I have to stop looking at and crying over like some fiendish masochist, which I doubt he thinks I even go to (2 days after we broke up, he posted to a friend there that he was "doing great"!! where I see all the people who he still loves and wants in his life...back to your original post about the effect of Myspace, ha!

 

He knows you go there, and he most likely posted he's "doing great" for your benefit. You'll stop checking it eventually, and when you do it'll be such a relief. There are dozens of threads on this subject, but it really is like torturing yourself.

[tiredofvampires]

He knows you go there, and he most likely posted he's "doing great" for your benefit. You'll stop checking it eventually, and when you do it'll be such a relief. There are dozens of threads on this subject, but it really is like torturing yourself.

 

WHAT??!!

 

How could he know I go there? I am very unsavvy about Myspace and making my way around lots of internet groups, and he knew that, I imagine (since he believes me to be naive and foolish in ways); and I never expressed an interest in going there or involving myself, and in fact I think that in general, other than one fight we had over it, the subject was dropped. So how would he know, months later, when checking out a page is anonymous? (also I started checking before we broke up and he never asked about it...)

 

And why would he say something so heartlessly cold for my "benefit"? This is a man who told me that if I ever left his life, it would be over for him, that he KNOWS he could never find another like me, and that's coming from a very seasoned man. He said endlessly that his world would end in a way if I were gone from it, that he never wanted to live without me (he will be 44 in a few days, to give you an idea of how true this could be)...so how could retracting all that as though I were a dream he just woke up from to carry on with his "doing great" as though I never existed except as a puff of smoke, be anything but a HORRIBLE BETRAYAL OF ALL HIS UNDYING LOVE PROMISES to me? (especially if he knew I read that?) If anything, it would seem an act of sheer spite...you know ala, "living well is the best revenge"...what a deceiver, I feel hoodwinked

 

Are you saying that he might not mean it...but just be doing it for effect?

 

Sorry to rant, and thanks for listening, davey...

[tiredofvampires]

Ha, I wonder what his feelings would be if I'd put something up on myspace?

 

I wonder if he would have gone through this...

[daveygravey]

I don't know the details, but I would just imagi8ne he knows u'd check his myspace. It's just the routine for an ex. Yeah I think it;'s an act of spite. My ex did it, and I'm 99% sure the photos of her "living it large WEY!" were for my benefit, not her friends.

 

Yeah if you'd put photos up on myspace I think it would have had the same effect./

 

I wish I'd hooked up with a hot Chinese girl and had photos, because I know my ex would have hated to see that!

[tiredofvampires]

Ah, I see...you mean "benefit" in a sarcastic way, then.

 

The thing is, as I say, I'm not sure he would've predicted I'd have gotten myself involved with Myspace the way I have, but hey, I just don't know. He had a brilliant way of using psychology in the most subtle of ways, so maybe...so there are only 3 possibilities here, all of them disturbing: 1. he went from loving me to completely erasing me without remorse, which means he doesn't have a heart 2. he is so unable to be genuine even with friends that he has to lie about his heartache to look "tough" in their eyes 3. he is hoping I will see and feel hurt.

 

I think spite is evil, and though it is human, and he hurt me as much, if not more...I would never, ever try to make him feel worse!!

 

So in a way, maybe it's good I didn't have any ammo to return fire...your ex sounds like she was surely playing the spite card, and that is just disgusting behavior, to me. You would have felt good for a while to get her back, and then it would just be empty turn-about...I guess the best revenge is not having to take revenge, ya know? Not as "yummy", but leaves less blood on the hands. Sounds like you are quite a healthy-minded, grounded guy on your way!