poloplayer Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Hi, Good observations. 1. I have noticed a majority opinion (on this site) that women have a much easier time dating, flirting, ect. then men do. I think that makes sense. Women just need to get out of the house and they'll get hit on. The more attractive they are, then the more they get hit on. 2. I have also noticed (observing people around me) that women tend to take rejection much more personally then men do. I think it's all about the feelings - if she has a good deal of feelings for someone then she sees the potential, the future all vanishing away and thinks she's not good enough - in terms of looks, sex, etc. I've had break-ups in the past were I suggested we should go separate ways - no friendship - and girls took that pretty hard. Nobody wants to be told that they're not good enough. Guys have it easier because many just don't care. Link to comment
Altruist Posted April 22, 2007 Share Posted April 22, 2007 Women get approached all the time. A hot woman is approached typically 20 times a day when she is in estrous. If 1 guy out of the last 600 in the past month rejects her is it any wonder that she will be surprised, shocked, upset? Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted April 23, 2007 Author Share Posted April 23, 2007 Women get approached all the time. A hot woman is approached typically 20 times a day when she is in estrous. If 1 guy out of the last 600 in the past month rejects her is it any wonder that she will be surprised, shocked, upset? As a matter of fact, it is a wonder. It is almost like allowing an entire forest burn down, because you are putting you attention on 1 tree. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 As a matter of fact, it is a wonder. It is almost like allowing an entire forest burn down, because you are putting you attention on 1 tree. that doesn't sound the same. Link to comment
Shajenko Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Makes sense to me in an evolutionary psychology sense. Evolutionary fitness for women has to do with attracting the most suitable mate to see us through pregnancy and child-rearing Not quite. Women have two reproductive drives. The first one you've already named. The second one is the drive to be impregnated by the male with the most superior genes. This leads to cuckoldry. It is one of the big reasons why women cheat - to have a dependable guy raise some alpha male's kid. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 23, 2007 Share Posted April 23, 2007 Not quite. Women have two reproductive drives. The first one you've already named. The second one is the drive to be impregnated by the male with the most superior genes. This leads to cuckoldry. It is one of the big reasons why women cheat - to have a dependable guy raise some alpha male's kid. doh. good thing i'm a bit alpha. lol Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted April 24, 2007 Author Share Posted April 24, 2007 that doesn't sound the same. Alright, I will rephrase. tronix said she has 600 guys, and 1 rejects her. That leaves her 599 to choose from. forget the 1 tree, there are 599 more in the forest. All the more reason they should not take it personally. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 24, 2007 Share Posted April 24, 2007 but maybe none of the other 599 trees could be turned into a canoe and float your boat. Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted April 25, 2007 Author Share Posted April 25, 2007 Alrighty then, lol. I think we have beat the crap out of this metaphore. But that reminds me of what I heard someone say in a movie (I think it was Grumpy Old Men). "There may be plenty of fish in the sea, but you are the only one that I want to mount over my fireplace." Point: People should not take rejection so personally. This is a lesson that I have had to learn myself. It is going to happen to everybody. Link to comment
anggrace Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 Mabey guys don't take it as personally b/c they've gotten use to it. I know. sounds crappy. I think its becoming more acceptable for women to approach a man w/o being seen as 'easy'. I think that goes hand in hand w/ the post feminism thing. But it is still the minority of us who do put ourselves out on the line like men do. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 The issue isn't being seen as "easy" - in my experience -and it is vast and longstanding - I know of no happy long term relationships where the woman did most of the calling, initating and planning in the beginning of the relationship. I know many men who are flattered by women who behave that way but those are not the women they choose to get serious with. Perhaps it is different for the under 25 set - I wouldn't know. I have asked men out - have no problem doing so - but in general it is ineffective if you want a serious long term relationship. The "first move" - sure - being approachable, friendly, warm, showing interest, of course - but if you want a long term relationship it's best to let the man do more of the calling, planning and initiating in the beginning. Link to comment
ghost69 Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 The issue isn't being seen as "easy" - in my experience -and it is vast and longstanding - I know of no happy long term relationships where the woman did most of the calling, initating and planning in the beginning of the relationship. I know many men who are flattered by women who behave that way but those are not the women they choose to get serious with. Perhaps it is different for the under 25 set - I wouldn't know. I have asked men out - have no problem doing so - but in general it is ineffective if you want a serious long term relationship. The "first move" - sure - being approachable, friendly, warm, showing interest, of course - but if you want a long term relationship it's best to let the man do more of the calling, planning and initiating in the beginning. that is a generalization based on experience. i've had long terms where the girl approached me first. Link to comment
weePi Posted April 25, 2007 Share Posted April 25, 2007 The issue isn't being seen as "easy" - in my experience -and it is vast and longstanding - I know of no happy long term relationships where the woman did most of the calling, initating and planning in the beginning of the relationship. I know many men who are flattered by women who behave that way but those are not the women they choose to get serious with. The women did them calling, initiating thing at the beginning of the relationships can be seen as 'clingy' to some guys, they freak out and the relationship becomes 'not happy' when one of the two involve isn't. Guys (generalisation) like to take things slow, and 'see how it goes'. I have to admit, I am very demanding(or I WAS)?!?! I am learning to slow things down, be laid back about things now too... It isn't good for me to put all my energy on the one guy that I am dating (when I do). Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 Mabey guys don't take it as personally b/c they've gotten use to it. I know. sounds crappy. I think its becoming more acceptable for women to approach a man w/o being seen as 'easy'. I think that goes hand in hand w/ the post feminism thing. But it is still the minority of us who do put ourselves out on the line like men do. put ourselves on the line?! almost sounds like we are arming for war, lol. Link to comment
JadedStar Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 I 've read so many posts by women who complain about the kind of guys they attract. If she were less passive, she'd have a wider and more diverse range of guys to meet. I don't suggest aggression, just a bit less fatalism. There's no shame in waving at a guy or saying hello. My mom once whistled at a guy, and it resulted in me. I love your posts Dako! That made me chuckle !!! Link to comment
JadedStar Posted May 10, 2007 Share Posted May 10, 2007 put ourselves on the line?! almost sounds like we are arming for war, lol. Put ourselves on the line made me think of unmentionables waving in the wind on a clothesline on a spring day in Denmark. LOL Link to comment
cpc28655 Posted May 10, 2007 Author Share Posted May 10, 2007 Put ourselves on the line made me think of unmentionables waving in the wind on a clothesline on a spring day in Denmark. LOL Alrighty then, lol. Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.