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2 Months

BBHFutureAllAmerican

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BBHFutureAllAmerican Collaborator

BBHFutureAllAmerican

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ok so the title is very very misleading, but here goes. My girlfriend and I of about 6.5 months had sex for the very first time, and if that's enough for you to say "you're too young" and all that jazz then i don't want to hear it, but this happened about 2 weeks ago and her dad found out this morning really puzzles me, but now she is banned from her computer, she can't drive, and she won't be able to see me for 2 months, and on top of it all, her dad wants to talk to me, granted we got along very well, he even told me he was the first guy that he agreed to let his daughter date, but i know that's all shot down the drain, ANY help would be greaaaaaaaaaaaatly appreciated!

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Yvette84 Experienced

Yvette84

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ok so the title is very very misleading, but here goes. My girlfriend and I of about 6.5 months had sex for the very first time, and if that's enough for you to say "you're too young" and all that jazz then i don't want to hear it, but this happened about 2 weeks ago and her dad found out this morning really puzzles me, but now she is banned from her computer, she can't drive, and she won't be able to see me for 2 months, and on top of it all, her dad wants to talk to me, granted we got along very well, he even told me he was the first guy that he agreed to let his daughter date, but i know that's all shot down the drain, ANY help would be greaaaaaaaaaaaatly appreciated!

I know this is besides the point, but how the heck could he have found out?????????????

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renaissancewoman101 Grand Master

renaissancewoman101

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How did her dad find out?

 

If I were you, when her dad comes to talk to you, he will probably be upset about this whole thing. Be honest, open and tell him that you care about his daughter very much. Be like an adult and take responsibility for what happened. Offer some suggestions about how to rectify this situation so you guys can see each other again, chaperoned visits, etc.

 

Good luck

 

PS: Was she afraid of getting pregnant, so took a pregnancy test, or decided to go on the Pill and the dad found the stuff?

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EvaGina Mentor

EvaGina

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NOthing you can do but take responsibility for it.

You're 16, you are physically fine to have sex...

Talk to him... DONT make excuses or be whiney/pathetic about it... in 2 years you will be an adult, so start acting like one now

 

Dont get cocky or anything, just treat him with respect, tell him about how you waited for 6 months becuase you love her and wanted her to be totally comfortable with it.

 

Nothing you can do to stop him being angry... its his little girl!! but plenty you can do to keep his respect for you.

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EvaGina Mentor

EvaGina

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no we go to rival schools, but i'm also going to have to find excuses for every weekend until she's ungrounded or something worthy of her becoming grounded for 2 whole months..

 

Lying isnt the way to go

Just tell them she was grounded. They dont need to know everything that happens in your gfs life.

Just say that your gf would rather you didnt tell people.

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EvaGina Mentor

EvaGina

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i really do wish it was as easy as that, but my gf and i are a lot closer than that n i wouldn't be able to keep something like that from my parents, but i'll wait it out until they get crazy suspicious

 

if your gf and you are that close, then your parents would understand that your gf doesnt want you telling them why she's grounded.

There is no reason why you should tell your parents your about your gfs personal life. even at 16... she is still allowed privacy

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patch2006uk Enthusiast

patch2006uk

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this was a facebook message she just sent me this morning

 

Omg I am seriously about ready to go insane. My parents are being really gay & my dad is trying to make me break up with you because hes saying that if u won't change you don't really love me. && I just want to leave. Come pick me up..please?

 

From her comment, i'd say that her dad is trying to prove he cares about her by manipulating her into doing what he wants. What does he wants you to change into? His problem seems related purely to the fact you guys had sex, not about you as a person, as you said that he allowed his daughter to date you in the first place.

 

 

The best advice i can give is to just sit the two months out. There is no point in trying to sneak around her parents, as if they found out you'd just be in a worse situation than you're in now. Arrange something special for when you can see each other again.

 

And as for your parents, do you reckon they'd react well to finding out you had sex? If you think it'd be ok, then why not just bite the bullet and tell them on your terms, rather than get the lecture from them having found out from your gf's dad. You don't need to give them details, just let them know what's going on in your life.

 

If you think they'd react badly, then is there anything else in your life you could blame for the 2 month absense of your girlfriend? It's exam season over here in May and June, and so it's acceptable to spend more time alone then normal. Is there anything like that going on for you atm?

 

I suppose it would be better for them to hear it from you in all honesty, rather than let her dad tell them his version of events, which im guessing wouldn't put you in the best light.

 

it's not easy, and it won't be a fun 2 months, but while these adults you and your girlfriend live with are basically in control of how much you can do, i don't see you have lot of choice if you want to keep them onside.

 

Why is her dad saying she can't see you for 2 months btw? is he hoping that you'll get bored of waiting and run off to another girl? if this is the case, then the best thing you can do is wait and prove him wrong and show him that his daughter really does mean alot to you.

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TheFoglifter Collaborator

TheFoglifter

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I agree that you might want to just tell your parents what happened. In situations like these, people ALWAYS find out -- no exceptions. They might as well find out from you, on your terms, BEFORE they find out from gf's Dad on HIS terms.

 

Seriously, they might not even get mad about the sex -- especially if you say that you waited six months, you were responsible and used protection, and that it was totally consentual. All of those good things would be totally eclipsed when they ask you "why didn't you tell us", when they know the answer is "because I didn't want to get in trouble".

 

The reason I am saying you should tell them is NOT because you had sex -- that isn't anyone's business but you and your gf. However, now that the Dad is involved, if you sense he will make a big deal out of this (he may tell your parents simply for revenge) then you'll do yourself a big favor pre-empting it.

 

Otherwise, are you going to jump for fear every time the phone rings for the next 2 months?

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facade Rookie

facade

Posted
Posted
let it out. let everyone know. it will be rough at first, but if you are open with everyone, and her dad, things can only get better. you will look like a man in her father's eyes for facing him. most guys would chicken out and take off.

 

 

...and you might be surprised at the willingness your parents might show to help you with the dilemma and how to talk to her dad, when they see you are owning up to it, showing responsibility and concern.

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