Week 8 And Don't Know How To Feel? I Hate Her But I Miss The Couples Thing!

[deelove2010]

Hi guy's hope ur all well, it's 8 weeks since the break up and I relly don't know what to feel, I've had really really low days and some OK days but I haven't had a day where I feel GREAT and 100% HAPPY!!!!!

 

I know my EX is never coming back and we will never ever be back together again, but I can't help feel lonely, I hate feeling like this, I want to go out meeting new girls and going out on dates but I feel I can't do this as I don't feel 100% myself! I hate the fact that my EX has moved on soo quickly where I'm finding it really hard to MOVE on 100% I know SHE is never coming back and I'm left with anger and a little bit of bitterness. I hate her for making me feel this way!

 

Somedays I just can't help remember the good times we had especially today where the sun was shining outside and I was stuck in the house with nothing to do all my friends were out doing there thing and we always go out in the evenings but I just miss the days out we used to have and I can't help feel so sad and lonely! I really miss the couples thing! I can't ask my guy mates if they would like to go for a walk along the beach and grab an ice cream, they would rather go to a bar and get drunk stupid!

 

I guess what I'm trying to say is I still MISS her even tough I have this HATE for her and if I saw her anytime soon I would really go off at her telling her how much I really truly HATE her for breaking my heart and using me! I'm just feeling so confused! She is not always on my mind but theres always a thought of her in the back of my mind if you know what I mean and I just wished I could make that go away!!! Sorry for writing this post but I really needed to get my feelings and thought out and this is always a good place to do it as there are soo many good ppl here to give great advice to make me feel strong!

 

If there is anyone out there that has felt like this I would LOVE to hear how you deal with this part of healing! I can't believe I was in a 5yrs relantionship which ended because the girl I was with cheated, but I got myself through it by telling myself she CHEATED and I hated her for it from the start of the breakup plus she was always contacting me if I went into strict NC either by phone or email which made me think at least she cared how I was feeling even tough I would never get back with her and it made me hate her less, where this relantionship only lasted 11mths but she left me cos her emotions swicthed off and she went into strict NC from the start and I found myself contacting her on low contact by email she would always reply back but with very short replys until I went into strict NC and I haven't heard from her since which make me think hey she didn't really love you and all she was doing was using me which makes me feel so low!!!! I hate LOVE!!!!!!

[DN]

deelove2010, I broke your post into paragraphs so it is easier to read - you may get more responses that way. Please do that yourself for future posts.

 

Thanks.

[robowarrior]

Well its like this , you should never go into a relationship with the expectation that it will work out, reality is that a girl can pack her bags and leave anyday, or cheat or whatever. Its basically so that if you go into a relationship with wrong expectations, these expectations will come back to bite you in the butt.

 

Most guys put themselves and their lives in a closet crying. You shouldn't be like that, don't get me wrong once you go into a relationship with wrong expectations, you get a broken heart, and this is excruciating pain. But what you should do is to give yourself time to heal, pick up the broken pieces of your heart and glue them back together again, and then when your ready move on with your life, turn your car away from the dead end and move back to the highway of life, push yourself to move on because there are no leperchauns to live your life for you, you have to make the best of it yourself, don't allow to let a problem to put your life on halt.

 

The important part here is that you give a swing to your life to jump out of the vicious circle.If you don't want to be lonely you have to step towards the people. And in order to escape a path of loneliness, you have no choice but to work hard and make you own path.

 

Life is like a tool or hammer, you either use it to build your life in the best possible way, or you lay that tool down and do nothing. Of course you should do the best to build your life into all you can, because in the end you will grade and look back on your own life and when that happens you want to look back on good results instead of bad.So always continue on to Build the best life. Like to tackle things and be activly a part of life.

 

There could be a time that you only have yourself in life, and if no one supports you in this world, you better make sure that you support yourself. Keep on moving.

[macgyver4ever]

Deelove,

 

I'm in the same shoes as you, excpet I don't feel any hate towards my ex. She cheated twice, and is now with the second guy. We have been broken up almost 7 weeks. I have been reading that it takes 6-8 weeks for you to fully realize the absense of the other person, so this may explain why you have been so low. I think that is why I have been so bad lately.

 

All I can think about is what went wrong, and how we can fix it. I know she will not try to come back to me after what she did, so I will have to come to her first. I know that is not how this is supposed to work, but if I want her back, that is what I have to do.

 

First I need more time to figure out if I really want her back?

[deelove2010]

thanks guy's for all your advice! I've had yet another low day today!

 

I know full well we will never get back together its been 2 and a bit mths and she hasn't bothered to contact me in anyway, so this tells me she NEVER really loved me!!!

 

I just can't get her out of my system fully and this is what's getting me down! I just want to feel HAPPY again and not worry if I'm going to be on my own for the next few mths!

 

I find it really hard when I see two couples happy in LOVE together and this makes me think this is what my EX and her NEW bf must be like HAPPY in love!!!

 

All I can do is take each day as it comes and I know one day I will not feel anything!!!! I've done good by not contacting her in anyway for a whole mth! I've not looked at her Myspace profile in weeks now and this has done me good!!!!

 

I just hope she wont email me in a few mths time to see how I'm doing because I didn't tell her I wasn't going to ever contact her again and she thought that I still like to be friends but I'll have to cross that bridge if I EVER come to it!!!!

 

Thanks guys I don't where I would be without this place it keep me sane and stop me from doing stupid things!!!