SeaBisquit Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Is it really that bad being single? I can do whatever i want to now. I can date who i want to, dress how I want to...and it"s pissing my ex off because he can't control me anymore. I'm even thinking about going on "girls gone wild".. i'm liking it. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Hey Jay - I see the benefits of both, really. There surely are benefits of being single. There's a different kind of freedom. I'm married but I'm still free. I do think you should be careful with your new found freedom tho - don't do anything too crazy that you MAY someday regret.... Link to comment
gfein347 Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Something tells me if you go on "girls gone wild" you'll regret that decision later in life. But, I do see your point about being single and not having the choices you make depend on anyone else. Link to comment
whatsthestory Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 hey, post a pic and ill tell you if you should or not! i like girls with attitude lol Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 I went through a stage like that - more than once - where it was fun to kiss a lot of boys, go on dates with whoever, just "have fun." The last time was probably about 13 years ago and I don't miss it. It's fun for awhile and then it feels kinda empty. It also put me in two near-rape/assault situations - that sure wasn't fun. To me it's more fun to laugh with my boyfriend who "gets me" and to flirt with him and have him flirt back - far better than the "thrill" of attention from someone new who I probably will never see again. That gets old, fast. Link to comment
AwdreeHpburn Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 nice whatsthestory - lol But really....moderation. i think Jay - that you're a mite still vulnerable. Just the fact that you mentioned Girls Gone Wild - I mean, I get it. Just going all crazy now because you can. I can see why you'd want to. But really, be careful..... Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Ah yes, I too had a controlling ex...and yeah...at first it's fun to do whatever you want. But soon it catches up with you. There is a difference between control and self-control. I met someone I ADORE...now I am gettin' used to being completely accountable again. I hope, like awdree that we will be married but still able to do what we want. No one enjoys being controlled. It's about respect, self-respect...but heck yeah...have fun ! And as long as you aren't hurting anyone...it's okay to watch your ex eat crow. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Jayceeria.... I say this with hesitation because I don't want to make you feel judged. I do hope that you will step back and re-evaluate what you want out of life, relationships, etc. I've followed many of your other threads. Your need for attention and history with doing whatever it takes to get it worries me. Your feelings of being wanted only for sex combined with your desire to do whatever you want (make out with whomever you want) is bothersome. Just remember that - The way you carry yourself can determine how others will treat you. Love yourself, carry yourself with pride, dignity, and respect for yourself. Find other hobbies. And in the long run, you will find that person that you are longing for. The one who loves you for you and will treat you as you want/need to be treated. Link to comment
rocio Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 I'm jealous. I want to be single!!! Just don't kiss too many boys. I've had 3 friends who came down with mono. Trust me, you don't want that. Link to comment
Savetheday Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 I agree.... its ok to have fun, hang around friends, enjoy nights out BUT be careful... You could look back in years to come and live to regret the silly things you did. It amazes me when people my age brag about the number of men they have slept with... I kind of look at them in shock and often wonder if I have ever lived a life..... I'm proud with the fact that I have only been intimate with 3 men in my life... and I'm almost 41yrs... What's there to brag about being a booty call anyway? Link to comment
secretsoul Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Nope, its not a bad thing being single. Its true you are independent and can do whatever you fancy. However, you may not like it for the long-run, it depends on your personality... many people want the emotional attachment and deep commitment that come with a long-term relationship... however, if it feels good now, go for it girlfriend! Whoo-hoo! Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 I am independent and can do whatever I fancy other than I have promised my exclusive boyfriend - and he has promised me - only to date each other. We don't desire to date other people so that promise is easy to keep and certainly not any restriction on "freedom." He has the same independence. I don't understand why people presume relationships mean restrictions on independence. Link to comment
rocio Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 All relationships involve expectations. When they conflict with the expectations you would otherwise have for yourself (which is inevitable) there is a restriction on your freedom. Link to comment
Dako Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 Doing things to piss off the ex or to celibrate freedom from the ex are about the ex. Link to comment
fnlyfrei Posted March 9, 2007 Share Posted March 9, 2007 I feel that depending upon the person...yeah, in a relationship there IS a restriction on your freedom. It might not be right...but it's there. I feel I must check in with my fiance'....guess that is an issue we have to work out. I think when someone is insecure they put said restrictions on others. Which usually works to drive the other person further away. I know last night when I went out with my friend I missed my fiance...until I found out he was disappointed that I stayed out a few hours longer than planned. Then I did not miss him so much, I felt like he was my parent. UGh. Link to comment
Batya33 Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 I love the checking in thing - doesn't feel restrictive at all - it's lovely to know he cares about whether I got home safely and wants to hear all the little stories from my evening. Sometimes he asks me to check in to make sure I got home safely but typically I check in so that I can tell him about the evening. Link to comment
scarew Posted March 10, 2007 Share Posted March 10, 2007 oooooooo nice one Dako I am glad you are single because I think it will be good for you. Like I'm That Girl, I have been following your posts. I don't want to be mean, but it really does sound like you have a strong need for sexual attention. As long as you can admit this and be aware and careful, you shouldn't have a problem. Just remember that nobody remembers you for how you look. When people talk about you, do you want to be remembered as that girl that "had great * * * *", "is wild in the bar", or "is a really cool chick" or "has an awesome personality". If you are remembered by the latter two, people will still think you're beautiful. They just won't have to say it because they will have better things to say about you. Its your decision how you want to portray yourself. But again, I AM glad that you are single for a while and hopefully you can find yourself on a level that you haven't seen yet. Link to comment
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